Was she kicked off of the basketball team prior to charges getting filed? Article not clear on this. If so, how would that hold up.

I can't say as that I'm comfortable with a relationship between an 18 year old and a 14 year old. No matter the sexual orientation involved, if I were a parent, I probably wouldn't like it. That's just how I am. A person learns a lot in those four years... a lot.

 

That said, chucking someone on the sex offender registry is a pretty severe result for a high school student dating a teammate.

If someone is attempting to have a sexual relationship with my daughter at that age, the sex offender list will be the least of their problems. As Getslow said, there is a lot of growing up between 14 and 18 years old.

 

The reason there is even an age of consent is because kids are very easily manipulated and can be pretty much be talked into anything, especially if they are "In Love for the first time".

 

I think there should be a 2-3 year age difference before any crime is charged/committed, but my boot in the butt age limit would be much lower.

I can't say as that I'm comfortable with a relationship between an 18 year old and a 14 year old. No matter the sexual orientation involved, if I were a parent, I probably wouldn't like it. That's just how I am. A person learns a lot in those four years... a lot.

 

That said, chucking someone on the sex offender registry is a pretty severe result for a high school student dating a teammate.

 

If someone is attempting to have a sexual relationship with my daughter at that age, the sex offender list will be the least of their problems. As Getslow said, there is a lot of growing up between 14 and 18 years old.

 

The reason there is even an age of consent is because kids are very easily manipulated and can be pretty much be talked into anything, especially if they are "In Love for the first time".

 

I think there should be a 2-3 year age difference before any crime is charged/committed, but my boot in the butt age limit would be much lower.

 

 

But in this case the girl was 17. She just happened to turn 18.

 

It is possible to be in a relationship as a 17 and 14 year old while attending the same school. A friend of mine from high school had a long term relationship with a girl when he was 17(senior) and she was 14(freshman). Her mother absolutely loved the 17 year old and the 17 year old was classmates with the 14 year old's brother and the 17 year old boys ended up being roommates in college. They continued their on again and off again relationship until the boy was 22 and she was 19.

 

I just can't see the harm in that.

But in this case the girl was 17. She just happened to turn 18.

 

It is possible to be in a relationship as a 17 and 14 year old while attending the same school. A friend of mine from high school had a long term relationship with a girl when he was 17(senior) and she was 14(freshman). Her mother absolutely loved the 17 year old and the 17 year old was classmates with the 14 year old's brother and the 17 year old boys ended up being roommates in college. They continued their on again and off again relationship until the boy was 22 and she was 19.

 

I just can't see the harm in that.

 

Ok but if this girl just turned 18 then the other could have been 13 at some point...... like I said in Middle school...

I can't say as that I'm comfortable with a relationship between an 18 year old and a 14 year old. No matter the sexual orientation involved, if I were a parent, I probably wouldn't like it. That's just how I am. A person learns a lot in those four years... a lot.

 

That said, chucking someone on the sex offender registry is a pretty severe result for a high school student dating a teammate.

 

That's my point-of-view as well. I thought that the Seniors who dated the Freshman when I was in school were dorks, but then I was a Senior and found a couple of the Freshman to be attractive. Never dated one, but I didn't find it as detestable. As a parent, I wouldn't want my Freshman daughter going out w/ a Senior boy/girl. However, all I can do is raise my kids to know what is right and wrong. From there, it is up to my kid to implement my lessons. If my daughter has sex w/ a Senior, I'll be upset. I'll do everything that I can to break up the relationship b/c I don't think that it is appropriate at that age. I do not, however, find it to be a felony. My child made her own decisions, and my message failed. No amount of jail time for the Senior will change that fact.

There are a lot of factors that can go on in a 14 year old mind......Have you ever taught or worked with 14 year olds??? They are very impressionable and easily swayed one way or another...just go to a local school and see how the social groups and roles of each kid can be manipulated by others.... I just think something needs to be in place to protect kids at that age...again I asked what are the common sense changes to the law??? I am open to hear them.

 

Common sense is if they are in the same school age groupings, it shouldn't be criminal. This girl has to be close to 15 and the other girl just turned 18. Part of growing up is making your own decisions. I would say that a change to the law would be just that. This wasn't an actual Sexual Battery/rape issue, I believe.

I am not trying to condone the sex at all and honestly it is one of the last things I really want to think about in regards to my younger children, but I am also grounded enough to know that it happens. I went through it with my older child. I am sure that I do not know everyone that he had a relationship with and I definitely would not want his life ruined because he chose to have an intimate relationship with a classmate. If it were a person of authority (teacher or administrator or coach) then I have a serious problem with it, but I am mixed on this because it is a classmate. The law needs to be interpreted. They can have sex up until midnight of his 18th. birthday, but then no more? Just a thought on how confusing this situation is for adults who think about it and for students who don't give it a thought at all.

I could probably live with that change as well, but I do think you have to be careful since kids can legally be in highschool until age 21. So I do think a numerical age has to be put on the top end. a 21 year old is too old for a 14 year old freshman.

The 14 year old's parents are vindicative people who are refusing to acknowledge their child's role in this situation and using the law to punish the 18 year old. And I would feel the same if it was a boy and a girl. Half of my high school would be registered sex offenders if parents acted like these did. Seniors and freshmen hook up yearly across the nation by the hundreds of thousands. These parents are using the law to ruin a child's life.

Come on man, a child CAN NOT consent to having sex with an adult. The burden is on the adult. What if this child was 12 and coerced into a sexual encounter with an 18 year old?

 

By the way, when I was a senior I was dating 21 year olds. Just saying.

This law would allow parents of a white child who disapprove of their child's relationship with a black child to have too much power.

 

This law says 12-16 is against the law. My son is biracial and his girlfriend is white. They have been together for about 2 years now. He was 17 and she was 15 when they got together. His birthday is April and hers is in May. For a brief time he was 18 and she was 16. Her mother disapproved of the relationship and she told us she disapproved because of their different skin tones. By what you're saying she has the power to press charges on my son during that one month period because parents having power is a good thing. Parents having power isn't always a good thing.

 

If your son truly loves the girl then he should be able to abstain for the period of time until the girl reaches the age of consent. That's the great thing about being human, we can control our urges. And yes, the parents of the girl absolutely have the power to press charges if your son doesn't follow their wishes where their daughter is concerned. And while they may be boorish to do it simply based on race they are 100% within their rights as parents.

 

Another analogy you probably won't agree with. On Aug 4 1981 I could have been arrested for trying to buy a beer on Aug 5 1981 I couldn't be. There are all kinds of arbitrary cut-offs based on age in the legal system. You either abide by them 100% or you don't. I didn't. But if you don't abide by them and are caught or have a complaint filed against you then you have to face the consequences of your actions.

Edited May 24, 201313 yr by All Tell

Come on man, a child CAN NOT consent to having sex with an adult. The burden is on the adult. What if this child was 12 and coerced into a sexual encounter with an 18 year old?

 

By the way, when I was a senior I was dating 21 year olds. Just saying.

 

Finally RAM!! Someone gets what I am trying to say, maybe I did not express it well....

So if a 17 year old is dating a 16 year old they should have to break up on the 17 year olds birthday? Is that really the intent of this law?

 

Not necessarily, if they aren't having sex there is no legal issue. If they are having sex and the 18 year old doesn't want to face the possibility of being arrested they SHOULD stop having sex.

If your son truly loves the girl then he should have be able to abstain for the period of time until the girl reached the age of consent. That's the great thing about being human, we can control our urges. And yes, the parents of the girl absolutely have the power to press charges if your son doesn't follow their wishes where their daughter is concerned.

 

Another analogy you probably won't agree with. On Aug 4 1981 I could have been arrested for trying to buy a beer on Aug 5 1981 I couldn't be. There are all kinds of arbitrary cut-offs based on age in the legal system. You either abide by them 100% or you don't. I didn't. But if you don't abide by them and are caught or have a complaint filed against you then you have to face the consequences of your actions.

 

On August 4, 1981 you would have been told no to the beer sale. Not put on a sex offender registry and your life ruined.

I'm going to make one more analogy that can be poo-pooed but I believe it.

 

Think of the 18 year old as a big time college basketball coach (this is a sports themed board after all :thumb: ). When things are going good that coach can and will take 100% of the credit but when things go bad that same coach will throw everyone he/she can under the bus and put the blame squarely on them.

 

An 18 year old is perfectly happy to accept all of the rights and privileges that come with their new adulthood but if also just as happy to fall back on the "I'm still just a kid" excuse when they make a mistake especially when they have adults that agree with them and follow that same line of reasoning.