It’s happening all over, in all sorts of families, not just young people moving back home but also young people taking longer to reach adulthood overall. It’s a development that predates the current economic doldrums, and no one knows yet what the impact will be — on the prospects of the young men and women; on the parents on whom so many of them depend; on society, built on the expectation of an orderly progression in which kids finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and eventually retire to live on pensions supported by the next crop of kids who finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and on and on. The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain untethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life.

 

The 20s are a black box, and there is a lot of churning in there. One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year. Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation.

 

We’re in the thick of what one sociologist calls “the changing timetable for adulthood.” Sociologists traditionally define the “transition to adulthood” as marked by five milestones: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child. In 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five milestones. Among 30-year-olds in 2000, according to data from the United States Census Bureau, fewer than half of the women and one-third of the men had done so. A Canadian study reported that a typical 30-year-old in 2001 had completed the same number of milestones as a 25-year-old in the early ’70s.

 

The whole idea of milestones, of course, is something of an anachronism; it implies a lockstep march toward adulthood that is rare these days. Kids don’t shuffle along in unison on the road to maturity. They slouch toward adulthood at an uneven, highly individual pace. Some never achieve all five milestones, including those who are single or childless by choice, or unable to marry even if they wanted to because they’re gay. Others reach the milestones completely out of order, advancing professionally before committing to a monogamous relationship, having children young and marrying later, leaving school to go to work and returning to school long after becoming financially secure.

 

Even if some traditional milestones are never reached, one thing is clear: Getting to what we would generally call adulthood is happening later than ever. But why? That’s the subject of lively debate among policy makers and academics. To some, what we’re seeing is a transient epiphenomenon, the byproduct of cultural and economic forces. To others, the longer road to adulthood signifies something deep, durable and maybe better-suited to our neurological hard-wiring. What we’re seeing, they insist, is the dawning of a new life stage — a stage that all of us need to adjust to.

 

 

An interesting read. Thoughts?

Edited August 22, 201016 yr by Run To State
For some reason the system thought untethered was a Word Filter Violation.

The first thing I must ask is...I thought you steered as far away from reading the NYT as humanly possible? :lol:

The first thing I must ask is...I thought you steered as far away from reading the NYT as humanly possible? :lol:

:lol: As I've tried to tell many of you in P&R, I read from sources from both sides of the aisle.

:lol: As I've tried to tell many of you in P&R, I read from sources from both sides of the aisle.

 

:lol:

 

I read this article and some thoughts I've had:

 

Why are we upset by this trend? It brings several things to mind. We lament the breakdown of the family in America. Up until the 70's, wasn't it common for adult children to live with their parents for at least a time after high school or college? I don't personally find that to be a bad thing. Back in the day, women lived with their parents until they married. Why are we so anxious for our children to leave the nest?

 

My 24 year old daughter lives with me, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I'd prefer that than knowing that she was living on her own struggling. Kids these days graduate college with an enormous amount of debt. Society expects them to be immediately productive, independent citizens. But just as the transition from high school to college is a hard one for many, so is the transition from college to independent, productive, independent citizen. Are we setting our kids up for failure by expecting that they jump right into it?

 

Just thoughts....

My thoughts will not be popular.

 

 

As a young man in his early 30's I don't think a lot of people realize how hard it is to find a mate. Young women of today are very demanding of young men, and young men are pretty lazy. In the 70's it was possible to get a good job making good money without a college degree in mining, manufacturing, or just flat out hard work. Since the early 90's things have changed. TV and movies the access those things now gives us into lives of people who make A LOT of money has changed the view young people have.

 

I think young women want a person who will provide for them and have the nicest of everything. They go to college not only for education but to find a guy who either has a lot of family money, or will have a job that makes them a lot.......they love status symbols.

 

Yong men want the same in a beautiful woman, plus to chase ALL the women.

 

 

In the end its a viscious cycle and a lot end up alone at home with mom and dad for a period of time.

:lol: As I've tried to tell many of you in P&R, I read from sources from both sides of the aisle.

But he only believes the sources on one side ... :lol:

:lol: As I've tried to tell many of you in P&R, I read from sources from both sides of the aisle.

Why am I suddenly getting this vision of Sarah Palin and Katie Couric?

My thoughts will not be popular.

 

 

As a young man in his early 30's I don't think a lot of people realize how hard it is to find a mate. Young women of today are very demanding of young men, and young men are pretty lazy. In the 70's it was possible to get a good job making good money without a college degree in mining, manufacturing, or just flat out hard work. Since the early 90's things have changed. TV and movies the access those things now gives us into lives of people who make A LOT of money has changed the view young people have.

 

I think young women want a person who will provide for them and have the nicest of everything. They go to college not only for education but to find a guy who either has a lot of family money, or will have a job that makes them a lot.......they love status symbols.

 

Yong men want the same in a beautiful woman, plus to chase ALL the women.

 

 

In the end its a viscious cycle and a lot end up alone at home with mom and dad for a period of time.

 

None of what you note has really changed from generation to generation. Women are still taught to "marry up" just like they always have, it's just they were pressured to do so at a younger age in the past. Men's desires haven't changed; we've always wanted not just to marry the prettiest girl, but to have all the girls available to us.

A few thoughts:

 

Women are as likely as men, at least far more likely than in the past, to be career oriented. This means both groups are busier than before and women aren't as likely to want to start a family right away. This is a good thing, but the dynamic has certainly changed. I also think it leads both groups to be more selective about their choice of spouses.

 

I think the jobs available to recent college graduates, to the extent they exist these days, are generally a lower level than before. They are lower paying, not in the areas people went to school to specialize in, and menial. With the rising cost of tuition, this means most have to work a bit longer before they earn enough to be financially free enough to start a family (or move out of their parents house). It also means they are far more likely to chase jobs in hopes of better prospects than stick with a menial one.

 

The other issues I see are cultural. I think there exist a type of "frat-boy" culture where drinking, random sex, and video games are encouraged and acceptable. Coupled with the previous points, you get a lot more people taking much longer to finish college, living at home longer, and heading to the bar to look for a hook-up before they look for relationships than in the past.

But he only believes the sources on one side ... :lol:

Exactly, the side that makes sense...

A few thoughts:

 

Women are as likely as men, at least far more likely than in the past, to be career oriented. This means both groups are busier than before and women aren't as likely to want to start a family right away. This is a good thing, but the dynamic has certainly changed. I also think it leads both groups to be more selective about their choice of spouses.

 

I think the jobs available to recent college graduates, to the extent they exist these days, are generally a lower level than before. They are lower paying, not in the areas people went to school to specialize in, and menial. With the rising cost of tuition, this means most have to work a bit longer before they earn enough to be financially free enough to start a family (or move out of their parents house). It also means they are far more likely to chase jobs in hopes of better prospects than stick with a menial one.

 

The other issues I see are cultural. I think there exist a type of "frat-boy" culture where drinking, random sex, and video games are encouraged and acceptable. Coupled with the previous points, you get a lot more people taking much longer to finish college, living at home longer, and heading to the bar to look for a hook-up before they look for relationships than in the past.

Pretty much agree with your view. Do you see this as problematic or just a simple rift in what used to be the norm?

A few thoughts:

 

Women are as likely as men, at least far more likely than in the past, to be career oriented. This means both groups are busier than before and women aren't as likely to want to start a family right away. This is a good thing, but the dynamic has certainly changed. I also think it leads both groups to be more selective about their choice of spouses.

 

I think the jobs available to recent college graduates, to the extent they exist these days, are generally a lower level than before. They are lower paying, not in the areas people went to school to specialize in, and menial. With the rising cost of tuition, this means most have to work a bit longer before they earn enough to be financially free enough to start a family (or move out of their parents house). It also means they are far more likely to chase jobs in hopes of better prospects than stick with a menial one.

 

The other issues I see are cultural. I think there exist a type of "frat-boy" culture where drinking, random sex, and video games are encouraged and acceptable. Coupled with the previous points, you get a lot more people taking much longer to finish college, living at home longer, and heading to the bar to look for a hook-up before they look for relationships than in the past.

I agree with everything except the last paragraph. From my experience, the generation coming of age during the latter stages of the sexual revolution, in the 70's and early 80's, was as, if not more, promiscuous than today's youth. One night stands were common and accepted during that time, by both men and women. AIDS came along and changed everything.

 

To me, the first 2 points are what make the difference now.

20 somethings are the first generation where if they got in trouble, mom and dad generally sided with them rather than the teacher/coach/other authority figure. The trends said that we shouldn't spank them, we shouldn't make them sit down and shut up becasue it would hurt their creativity. This has allowed the 20 somethings to be very fun, but not very responsible.

This is a generalization - there are still many 20 somethings doing quite well and living responsible lives.

 

From Rockmom: My 24 year old daughter lives with me, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I'd prefer that than knowing that she was living on her own struggling. Kids these days graduate college with an enormous amount of debt. Society expects them to be immediately productive, independent citizens. But just as the transition from high school to college is a hard one for many, so is the transition from college to independent, productive, independent citizen. Are we setting our kids up for failure by expecting that they jump right into it?

 

My opinion is that the struggles my wife and I went through as a young couple forced us to grow up because failure was an option and we had to rise to the occasion. We grow from struggling. Just my opinion.

I agree with everything except the last paragraph. From my experience, the generation coming of age during the latter stages of the sexual revolution, in the 70's and early 80's, was as, if not more, promiscuous than today's youth. One night stands were common and accepted during that time, by both men and women. AIDS came along and changed everything.

 

To me, the first 2 points are what make the difference now.

 

I don't know how it was back then, but being a recent college grad (May 09), I can tell you the one night stands are still very common and accepted. I think Habib's post is spot on.

Here's my 2 cents in no particular order, and they are factors.

1. Overabundance of college graduates. - There are too many college graduates competing for the same entry level positions. As a result, companies can offer lower starting salaries. The real income level of a twenty-something is lower than it has been in generations.

 

2. Housing prices- The cost of buying a house has gone down due to the bursting of the bubble, but they are still near all-time highs

 

3. Freedom of Information- People now have access to different lifestyles than what they see in their neighborhood, for better or worse. Too many 20 somethings see how the 1% live and feel that they are entitled to a lifestyle above their income level.

 

4. The fruits of feminism. - Women don't have to marry. They are reaping what generations of struggling women sowed. Women can afford to be independent and are doing so.

 

5. Terminal illness of morality - Morality isn't dead, but it is in stage 1. There's no need to commit, or build a life with another person when you are in your 20s. You can fulfill your needs, so to speak, every weekend.

 

6. Peter Panitis- We don't have to grow up. We can live at home and our parents let us. I lived at home after I got back from Mexico until I bought a house at 27. I felt like a loser, but I was saving a ton of money too.

 

7. Change in perception- When comparing the 70s to now, I'm assuming that most families have less children then they did then. As a result, parents can stand to be more patient. It's easier to swallow having a 25 year-old at the house as opposed to 3 20 somethings.