August 14, 201412 yr During the homily you hope you make it home in time to change your fantasy football line-up because you just got an alert on your smartphone that your starting wr is inactive today.
August 14, 201412 yr Your kids start school on a Wednesday, then they are already off on Friday for Feast of the Assumption.
August 14, 201412 yr Someone you know didn't get in line to receive communion and you can't help but to ponder what's on their conscience.
August 14, 201412 yr You have a palm leaf hanging somewhere in your house. A true Catholic would know that the correct term is "frond," not leaf.
August 14, 201412 yr A true Catholic would know that the correct term is "frond," not leaf. I am a true Catholic. I haven't been to church in months but I've been to a festival.
August 14, 201412 yr I am a true Catholic. I haven't been to church in months but I've been to a festival. I'm just messing with you, playing off the irony that I'm decidedly not a very good Catholic.
August 14, 201412 yr I am a true Catholic. I haven't been to church in months but I've been to a festival. The door is open for you to come back at any time. You would be welcome. Mass is great!
August 14, 201412 yr Putting a check in a basket held by a complete stranger brings a smile to a four year-old's face.
August 14, 201412 yr You look at the hymn numbers on the board to see if the Closing song is on your Top 10 Church song list so you can decide whether or not to stick around after Communion.
August 14, 201412 yr You have bought $5 tea rings, $6 boxes of Krispy Kremes, or $3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies after Mass.........and considered it a Holy act.
August 14, 201412 yr You conduct your own "America's Top Model" contest judging all the ladies coming back from Communion.
August 14, 201412 yr You know when the offertory plate has already gone by 3 x and you still haven't been offered the sign of peace.
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