I would be willing to bet that in 80% (if not more) of these type cases, the kids have no problem with the coach, only the parent(s). Yet the kids are left to suffer the consequences of the parents actions/behaivor.

When my boys were cut from their middle school bb teams, neither myself nor my spouse went to the coach/AD/admin to complain, we signed them up for swimming and they have loved it. Sometimes getting cut sends the message that you really need to be investing your time elsewhere.

 

or if you really want it work hard on it and try again!

Reading through this thread reinforces what I often tell people - there is only one real big problem in youth sports ... parents. Middle school starters get cut. Middle school stars become subs. The older you get, the stiffer the competition and that is when unrealistic hopes, expectations and emotions get in the way of objectivity and judgment. The parent questions the kid why he/she isn't playing more, the kid goes into protection/don't want to disappoint mom/dad mode, the stories begin and the finger pointing begins, because we know it isn't Johnny or Sue's problem ... they led their 7th grade team at Sports of All Sorts in scoring, don't you all know that! Ask any coach and they will almost surely tell you that the biggest headache in their job is parents. And more times than not the kid is great but the parents are over the top unrealistic.

 

In this situation, I wonder if there isn't some abuse of authority involved where this woman is improperly trying to use her position in the schools. I have serious questions about her competency to do her job as Principal if she is unable to work through a Johnny playing time issue without making a major issue out of it. I wonder about her ability to deal with parent issues at her school.

Why is the Boone principal washing his hands of this?

Probably because this shouldn't even be an issue. Mr.Raleigh knows that staff pretty well and has had to hear it from this certain family previously. The family just needs to face the fact that their lucky to be a part of the program after the way they have attacked this staff before. Like someone said in a previous post, 'this isn't rec ball". Todd Downs is one of the best coaches in this area whether people like him or not. He can get more out of a kid than most because he loves doing what he does. He's not going to sugar coat it and hold your hand, but he won't give up on a kid either. Someone commented about his in-gym behavior. Show me a coach that doesn't ride the refs. That's a coach that either doesn't know the game, care about the game or care about standing up for his team. I don't believe there is a parent/coaching issue at Boone, just one unhappy family that has a little power because of her position in the school system trying to make some noise. The BOE will probably laugh them out of the office.

Not shocked either, I am not saying that he is a bad coach, but in AAU ball I have seen him tear a 5th grader to shreads, I'm no bleading heart liberal, but that is a little over the top.

"You gotta tear down in order to build em up"

"You gotta tear down in order to build em up"

 

Sorry, but not in 5th grade.

Sorry, but not in 5th grade.

 

We aren't talking about rec teams. These teams have tryouts, play in the high level tournaments and the players and parents have chosen to play on that team and made the cut. In 90% of 5th grade situations, I would tend to agree with you. When it is highly motivated, talented players wanting to win now (yes, even in 5th grade), then aggressively challenging the kids is what they are looking for so they can be the best.

We aren't talking about rec teams. These teams have tryouts, play in the high level tournaments and the players and parents have chosen to play on that team and made the cut. In 90% of 5th grade situations, I would tend to agree with you. When it is highly motivated, talented players wanting to win now (yes, even in 5th grade), then aggressively challenging the kids is what they are looking for so they can be the best.

 

You can't really believe that the way to motivate even the most talented 10% of 5th grade players is to tear them to shreds. There are many other techniques that can be used. "Aggressively challenging" is a very politically correct way to say it. I like that.

You can't really believe that the way to motivate even the most talented 10% of 5th grade players is to tear them to shreds. There are many other techniques that can be used. "Aggressively challenging" is a very politically correct way to say it. I like that.

 

If tearing them to shreds means denigrating the kid, I do not agree with that. If it means challenging them about why they did or didn't do something, on a highly competitive team I am ok with it. The key obviously is handling it properly and not belittling the player. On the motivating side, I don't consider "tearing them to shreds" to be motivating at all. It will get a player to really focus on correcting mistakes but it is not motivating. IMO, the absolute best motivator is clearly positive reinforcement.

"You gotta tear down in order to build em up"

 

Thanks Shooter.

Todd can be hard on his players(esp his own kids) and I have seen him use an in your face style but he knows his stuff and cares about the kids. The same kid he may "rip" during the game might be the same kid who rode to the game with him, will be sharing the hotel room with his family or who's supper he will buy on the way home.

If tearing them to shreds means denigrating the kid, I do not agree with that. If it means challenging them about why they did or didn't do something, on a highly competitive team I am ok with it. The key obviously is handling it properly and not belittling the player. On the motivating side, I don't consider "tearing them to shreds" to be motivating at all. It will get a player to really focus on correcting mistakes but it is not motivating. IMO, the absolute best motivator is clearly positive reinforcement.

 

We are in agreement.

If tearing them to shreds means denigrating the kid, I do not agree with that. If it means challenging them about why they did or didn't do something, on a highly competitive team I am ok with it. The key obviously is handling it properly and not belittling the player. On the motivating side, I don't consider "tearing them to shreds" to be motivating at all. It will get a player to really focus on correcting mistakes but it is not motivating. IMO, the absolute best motivator is clearly positive reinforcement.

And that's exactly how Todd coaches.

This says all I need to read right here, Pam Thamann, Let me tell you what kinda (insert the adjective you wish to use here) clown she is. Actually I won't, because I probably can not do it with in the rules of BGP. (pm me if you really want to know, I will be glad to tell you there.)

 

I feel sorry for any of you that have kids that go to Thornewilde, and she alone is a reason for BCS to have open enrollment.

 

Doesn't surprise me one bit that she is trying to get ride of someone (let alone from another school) speaks true colors of her character.

 

She gets my vote for "Butt Clown" of the Year.

Here is my 2 cents. I know Todd and think he is a good person and coach that means well. Now having said that, I've seen my son play for an in your face coach that makes Todd look like and angle. I will say that for a parent to sit in the stands and watch their kid get yelled at by a coach and not say anything is a very tough thing to do. Four years went by and my son survived, we love the coach because he meant well and taught my son some very good life lessons. I have nothing but respect for that coach and thank him every chance I get.

 

That's just me