One, the child has developed friendships with his classmates. Two, there is a stigma of being "held back" once you repeat a grade.

 

You have made several good points Clyde. I think you're the one with the Masters degree in Early Childhood Development. :thumb:

This is funny.

 

I know ennam. I like to bring laughter to the site. We tend to take things a little too serious in here. :popcorn:

I'm not taking it personally. I do find some of these comments very uneducated. The discussion on here is not exclusive to BP, nor is it protected just because it is being discussed on BP. Other folks are expressing their opinions and I am expressing mine. This is something I deal with every year with students... real children, so it hits home with me a little more. I cannot sit by quietly, nor laugh at some of these uneducated comments.

 

I am sure you have lots of experiences in the field of education, but there are others also. I would give you mine, of over 35 years at all levels but it really doesn't matter, because that does not make me necessarily more informed than others. In fact, parenting is hard and difficult and it is easy to judge parents, however, it is not our places as educators to do that. It is the parents' right and there's alone. As an educator, I take your child however he or she comes to me treat them with dignity and respect and understand their individual differences and be up front with parents (if they are involved and around, if not I do the best I can). But you are not their parents. One problem in education is educators blaming parents. Control what you can control and make a difference in a kid's life, you cannot nor should not parent others kids, educate them academically, civilly, and emotionally and be a good mentor. I'm sure you try and do that or at least I hope you do. I have had more discussions about holding kids back than I care to recall. Every one of them was a tough meeting, however, the parent knew the consequences on any decision they made and what I advised them to do, but I always deferred to the parent making the final decision in these things. I found them more educated, especially about their child than I was in every case.

Don't take it personal, but from your posts on this subject, I would not seek or recommend you to assist in any early childhood development with any of my kids or families of kids that I have worked with. A lot of anger in you words. I see no benefit of holding kids back for athletic reasons. That's part of the problem today, instead pushing and assisting kids to get better and be better as a young person, we make excuses and take the lazy route. Let the educators decide if your kid is academically ready or not to progress forward, and the maturity will come good guidance and the proper surrounding as they grow. No excuse for holding back or repeating a grade.

 

 

I didn't want to bring up names, but could the fact that Pike was held back be an aide in his behavior. Always older and slightly bigger than his classmates giving him the sense of being the "alpha male".

 

JMO

I'll take dominance earned over dominance fabricated any day.

 

You'd be mistaken, with all due respect. Oh, and my degree is higher than masters, yet I don't know much.

I'm not taking it personally.

 

Ennam, I have no dog in this fight, but I have to tell you that you're taking this issue exceptionally personally. Your posts in this thread were clearly coming from a very personal place, and there is nothing wrong with that. I would have wagered a great deal of money early on that you were the parent of a child that was held back. It s that personal angle and passion that makes BGP so great. Just own it, you are taking it personally and that is great.

You'd be mistaken, with all due respect. Oh, and my degree is higher than masters, yet I don't know much.

 

I may be mistaken, but that's how I see it. I would always want my child to be challenged athletically by playing at his age level or even playing up if ability allowed.

 

What does it say to tell little Johnny "Johnny, athletically you're just not good enough to compete with your classmates, so I'm going to hold you back in the third grade for another year"

This is athletically speaking not academic.

I'm just saying it's not MY style of parenting.. To each his own.

I think it would have to be in the Controversial Issues Forum.

 

L13, what do you think about this topic?

 

Maybe I shouldn't have started it.

 

Many folks have made excellent points, but if the parents think it's going to be the best thing for their child (educational, maturity, sport's, cost saving, etc), who am I to criticize.

1. Pay attention to your child from infancy, through toddlerhood, into preschool. Be observant of signs of immaturity, struggling, and coping.

2. If in doubt, go ahead and have them wait another year BEFORE they start kindergarten.

3. I have not met anyone who regretted having their child wait out that year before kindergarten. But I have met many parents who wish they would have.

4. MANY psychologists will tell you that once your child has begun school, it is much more difficult for them to repeat a grade. One therapist told us that even when they are adults, when someone asks (a kid who repeated) what year did they graduate, their OWN explanation has as asterisk. (It was 2019, but it SHOULD have been 2018, but I had to REPEAT a grade.)

 

Disclosure: ****I do not have a degree in education. (BSEE Marquette; Butler MBA). 5 children, ages 18 though 5.

I turned 17 in the middle of my senior year in HS. I was glad to be one of the youngest in HS and college. I felt like I got to start "my life" a year earlier than others.

 

Side note: There was a kid that was held back his freshman or soph year at my kids' high school. This happened a couple years ago. He was held back for "athletics", though he wasn't particularly athletic. The kids just hammered him for choosing to repeat a year of high school to try to increase his chances of playing college sports.

 

Of course that's just one anecdotal story.

He has to develop relationships for sure' date=' most of which are already established with kids who are in middle school or lower. I've known of no stigma ever once you've repeated a grade other than sniping adults. Kids don't care.[/quote']

 

I remember three kids did it in 5th grade. We still give them a hard time about it. Spin, I think you're forgetting how rough one's peers can be. Having said that, I still think its up to each family to decide and have no problems with it.

It's my opinion that if a parent chooses to hold a child back' date=' the earlier the better. Just my opinion.[/quote']

 

Totally agree.

I don't have a problem with parents making decisions on how to academically place their children. The challenge is that the decisions are linked to sports and sports, for many, are a link to free education (or at least perceived to be). There is little doubt in my mind that a 19 year old will perform better than his/her 18 year old self everything else equal. However, how many of us have seen 8th grade "studs" who never grow another inch and by their senior year ...I hate to say "duds", but have been bypassed by other later maturing kids. And this can happen whether held back or not. But, how beneficial is it to hold back a bright, young child who is ready for academic and mental challenges just so he/she can better compete in sports. It seems to me, that if that is the reason for the hold back, their values may be in the wrong place.

I started 1st grade at 5, and my school tried to move me to the 3rd grade when I was in the 2nd grade, and thankfully my parents declined. But still I was driving, dating, and other stuff at least a year later than everyone in my class, and two years later than some. I played several sports, and had some success, but after my senior year, I grew three inches and gained 35 pounds, which would have been nice in high school for sports purposes. So there are a lot of times, I wished that I had been held back, but when we were making decisions with our kids, our only thoughts were about how they fit it now...are they ready for school, mentally, physically and emotionally...versus what they might be in 13 years.

My son is very young in his class. He took his first varsity snaps while still a 14 year old sophomore. Lucky for him that he was sufficiently gifted to be able to start at such a young age. When he was in 6th grade however, he had both appendicitis and seizures and different times of the year. He had missed about 1/3 of the school year. I wanted to hold him back because I did not think he was prepared for 7th grade and that he was so young in his class that he would fit right in. All of the school counselors advised differently, saying the stigma of being held back, even for medical reasons, would be socially devastating.

 

Now, I'm concerned how this is going to play out going forward. My son still has no facial hair, has baby fat, no adam's apple and is still 6'3 280 at 15. Having gotten close up to players from Trinity and Moeller when they played last year, many players on both teams had full beards! The difference in physical maturity was stunning.

My son is very young in his class. He took his first varsity snaps while still a 14 year old sophomore. Lucky for him that he was sufficiently gifted to be able to start at such a young age. When he was in 6th grade however, he had both appendicitis and seizures and different times of the year. He had missed about 1/3 of the school year. I wanted to hold him back because I did not think he was prepared for 7th grade and that he was so young in his class that he would fit right in. All of the school counselors advised differently, saying the stigma of being held back, even for medical reasons, would be socially devastating.

 

Now, I'm concerned how this is going to play out going forward. My son still has no facial hair, has baby fat, no adam's apple and is still 6'3 280 at 15. Having gotten close up to players from Trinity and Moeller when they played last year, many players on both teams had full beards! The difference in physical maturity was stunning.

 

That's a tough situation, and the way our timetables are set linking high school, then immediately college sports can penalize either the younger athlete or the late bloomer. It sounds like he has a future regardless. I can speak from experience, even if it is, or is not D1, one can get their education paid for also at a great D2 university and have a great experience. Or, he may go to a D1 who will red-shirt him for a year. My youngest was a late bloomer as well, and ended up at a D2 in basketball that redshirts all their freshman. Best thing that ever could have happened.