Not trying to thread jack....but this is something that has been bothering me.
If you are a middle school ref, you need to understand some stuff.
1. If an 8th grade player is struggling to tie his shoe, it is not your place to say, "You are 14 years old. Why can't you tie your shoe?"
2. The act of tying shoes is a fine motor skill that not all children/students master.
3. AND--There are students who are high functioning, yet on the spectrum who have no other outward signs.
4. The tying of shoes, while others are impatiently waiting, is stressful enough without a ref making comments.
5. And a coach jumping in to tie the shoes sets the child up for more embarrassment.
5. Coaches/parents can try to prepare with double knots and velcro, etc. But no guarantees.
6. Bottom line: Just be nice. Don't judge. Find a way to encourage a kid, instead of putting him/her down. Check yourself at the door. Be the adult. BE THE DIFFERENCE.