I stole this from a gay friend of mine's Facebook page:

 

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

 

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

 

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness -Lev15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

 

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

 

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

 

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexual ity. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

 

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

 

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

 

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

 

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/po lyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

 

I think this is a quote from President Josiah Bartlett (Martin Sheen) on one of the episodes of The West Wing

Quite possibly the best thing I've ever read on here. :lol:

 

"How should they die?"

 

Well done, FWK.

Thanks. Number 2 was my favorite. I sent this to my sisters and told them we were taking bids. :lol:

I think this is a quote from President Josiah Bartlett (Martin Sheen) on one of the episodes of The West Wing

MY friend attributed it to:

 

James M Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education

University Vermont

FKW FTW! :lol:

 

Those are pretty hilarious. I don't know why, but number 4 literally made me laugh out loud.

I like #5 myself.

FKW FTW! :lol:

 

Those are pretty hilarious. I don't know why, but number 4 literally made me laugh out loud.

Smiting always elicits a smile from me.

I'm anxiously awaiting Bama Larry or mtnref to give me a response to these.

You may disagree with Brian McLaren but to suggest that he teaches a feel good Christianity is simply not true.

 

That's the core system of the emergent church movement, they don't talk about sin and repentance nearly enough, it takes a backseat in their teachings.

MY friend attributed it to:

 

James M Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education

University Vermont

 

Very Similar:

 

The atmosphere was electric. The president of the United States was about to address a gathering of radio talk show hosts in the White House. As the president entered the hall, they all stood and applauded. All, that is, except one — a woman with strikingly blond hair, wearing a bright green suit. At first, her presence rattled the president. He lost his train of thought several times before he finally spoke directly to the sitting talk show host.

 

“Excuse me, doctor,” the president said to her. “It’s good to have you here. Are you an M.D.?”

 

“A Ph.D.,” she retorted smartly.

 

“In psychology?” he pursued.

 

“No, sir,” she said.

 

“Theology?”

 

“No.”

 

“Social work?”

 

“I have a Ph.D. in English literature,” she replied.

 

“I’m asking,” continued the president, “because on your show people call in for advice and you go by the title ‘doctor,’ and I didn’t know if maybe your listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology, or health care.”

 

“I don’t believe they are confused. No, sir,” she responded.

 

“Good,” said the president, raising his voice sarcastically. “I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.”

 

“I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President,” she replied haughtily. “The Bible does.”

 

“Yes, it does!” he shouted. “Leviticus 18:22.” The president was just warming up. “I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?”

 

After a brief moment, he continued: “While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it OK to call the police?”

 

Now on a roll, the president steamed on triumphantly. “Here’s one that’s really important, ‘cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?

 

“Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side?

 

“Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

 

“Think about those questions, would you? One last thing. While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the ignorant tight-a** club, in this building when the president stands, nobody sits.”

 

The president paused to catch his breath. The silence that invaded the room was deafening. The once self-assured talk show host slowly rose to her feet, her face reddened with shame. Her quick come-backs and commanding presence wilted away. She had no response. The president of the United States had left her speechless. The very Bible that she had used to beat up on homosexuals had now beaten her into submissive silence.1

You may disagree with Brian McLaren but to suggest that he teaches a feel good Christianity is simply not true.

 

Also do you care to define the emergent/emerging church movement he is one of the key leaders in if it isn't a feel good Christianity?

Also do you care to define the emergent/emerging church movement he is one of the key leaders in if it isn't a feel good Christianity?

 

I don't even want to begin to define a movement. What it means to me is that my christianity needs to move from a laser focus on the next life and to work for justice for the oppressed in this life.

 

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”[a]

 

20 Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. 21 He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

 

What it means to me is that we do not go to Africa and beat our bibles and say "pray and be saved, don't have premarital sex and you won't get aids". It means we work with the folks there and we talk about sex and the spread of STDs. We understand that unemployment plays a role in the spread of AIDs and we work to change the circumstances that puts these folks in these situations.

 

What is "feel good" about it?

I believe participation in homosexual activity is sinful. I believe participation in sexual activity outside of God's boundaries is sinful. I believe lying is sinful. I believe gluttony is sinful. A lot of things are sinful.

 

I believe people can be born with a bent toward homosexuality, just as some are born with a stronger bent toward heterosexual activity. Just like I believe I was born with a strong bent toward impatience, pride, etc. The Bible teaches the principle of the sinful nature, something we are all born with. In a sense, we're stamped with Adam's sin--not that we're born sinful, but that we're born with a craving for sin.

 

The New Testament speaks about this, just as the Old Testament did. Many of the Levitical laws were done away with--nailed to the cross with Jesus. Other laws are still in effect, simply because they're repeated in the New Testament. Homosexuality is one of many that are repeated.

Did Jesus say it was a sin or did Paul say it was a sin or did the letter writers think it was a sin?

 

How do we know what Jesus said? He never wrote a single word of Scripture.

How do we know what Jesus said? He never wrote a single word of Scripture.

 

Very profound sir. Could it possible be then that some of what we take as Jesus teachings were cultural teachings, crafted from a very Paternalistic and Homophobic Culture? Homophobic may be strong in that they did not understand homosexuality in the way that we do.

My thing with the bible is that it was written many years ago and I have always viewed it as a living document - like our constitution - that is not necessarily up for amending, but at least receptive to the ever changing world. That is why I believe the bible is vague in many ways.

 

Good post!