It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

Looks don’t matter; it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

"You shouldn't do that....it'll make you go blind"

"Don't swallow your gum. It takes seven years to digest."

"You shouldn't do that....it'll make you go blind"

 

This one is actually true according to my eye doctor.

Your mom's mother isn't crazy, she's eccentric.

Easter Bunny

Santa Claus

Tooth Fairy

 

Elvis is dead

 

"The tooth fairly was probably really busy last night....she'll probably stop by tonight"

"This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

Eating the crust off bread will help you whistle.

We are out of Oreos!!!

Eating the crust off bread will help you whistle.

 

That's a first for me. You must have been a hellion.

Babies come from watermelon seeds. I cant get my wife to stop eating watermelon, all summer long its been watermelon watermelon, watermelon. Were gonna end up pregnant for sure.

 

That is a green thumb.

That's a first for me. You must have been a hellion.

 

And I can't whistle. :irked:

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it."

....

 

My wife has my kids convinced that our house has hidden video cameras in every room, like businesses on TV, and that she can review the footage to catch them in lies. It is gold.