Your kid and my kid are not playing in the pros

[doubledeuce]

Part of me agrees with the article. Looking back as someone mentioned earlier, the best parts were the drives to and from practices or games. Doing select you certainly get a lot more drive time. Going on the out of town trips with other families and hanging out was usually a blast. My kids hanging out with their friends away from the field or court was their favorite part.

 

Now, my two kids did the whole select sports thing and we really enjoyed the overall experience.

 

My personal experience has been, if you are having a conversation with other parents, and you tell them that your kid is playing intramural sports and theirs is playing select, you and your kids are viewed as not good enough for select or that you do not care about their future.

 

 

 

 

I feel the whole explosion of kids playing select is because parents think they will look like bad parents if their kids are not "good enough" to play select. So, now every Joe blow and his buddy start a team so their kids can play select under the guise of playing better competition and better exposure, when it is really about the parents and their insecurities.

[formerkywrestler]

I am just going to say it, this obviously hits close to home for many of you.

I have zero kids and zero desire to have kids. I still think the guy is a moron. As a coach of youth sports I will tell you from firsthand experience that there are cases where parents go overboard and that sometimes specialization leads to a crappy teenager. But, overall, sports are a HUGE positive in any child's life and I don't think that specialization has anything to do with it. Those crappy parents are going to be crappy parents no matter how many baseball games little Johnny plays or dance recitals little Susie goes too...

[theguru]

Since this thread is such a good one I decided to send the good Doctor an email, I sent the following:

 

Hey Doc!

 

We have been discussing your article and as I am sure you know many people think you are the one that needs perspective. LOL Anywho, please take a look at the comments and I would greatly appreciate any specific comments you have for my members based on what they posted in the below thread:

 

http://bluegrasspreps.com/bluegrasspreps-coms-break/your-kid-my-276235.html

 

Thanks for your support.

 

Rob aka theguru

Founder

http://bluegrasspreps.com

https://twitter.com/Bluegrasspreps

BluegrassPreps.com Sports Photography

http://www.facebook.com/bluegrasspreps

https://plus.google.com/+Bluegrassprepscom/posts

 

========================

 

The Doc responded with the following (I made a couple of minor edits because I got that crazy Mac translation issue going on):

 

Dear Rob,

 

I have to admit I did not read your thread. My bet it it's probably not much different than many of the comments you will find on the NUVO thread, but I figured I would let your readers in on some things.

 

That article was submitted to a little local paper in their op-ed section. A typical article on the site is read maybe fifty times and shared twenty times perhaps. Currently this article has been shared 117,000 times and read more than 350,000 times. Think about why that is. Social media marketers will tell you that people typically do not share articles they disagree with. While many on your thread might be in opposition, I would encourage your readers to review the twitter feeds which are overwhelmingly in agreement with the premise of the article. In addition, pay close attention to the people who are sharing it via twitter.

 

Up to date, I have received more than seven hundred emails. Only about ten have been critical, one mostly was mad at the curse words. Only three (all critical) did not include their first and last name (yours being one of them). Now, this certainly does not mean they do not have a some valid arguments and criticism, but ask yourself why has a tiny little op-ed piece in a nothing paper spurred such discussion and stirred such emotion….really…ask yourself. I mean, we aren't talking about the NY times for God sakes.

 

I have gotten correspondence from dozens of professional and Olympic athletes, orthopaedic surgeons, physical therapists, sports psychologists, division I athletic directors (their coaches and players and parents) all thanking me for bringing this to light. I have gotten countless correspondence from clergy telling me that attendance has plummeted because of the number of kids playing on Sundays. Financial planners have been telling me how their clients are committing financial suicide in these pursuits. Marriage counselors have been relaying that in their experience countless affairs and divorces stem directly from travel team involvement since the division of spouses on a weekly basis can be a distraction to a marriage (I would have never even thought about that…would you?).

 

In addition the number of parents that are in turmoil about making the decision to specialize or travel is incredible. Just the concept that there should be any turmoil in decided about the extracurricular activities of children is mind-boggling. When in the world did children sports actually become a psychosocial stressor? I am dumbfounded by the outpouring of emotion from parents that thank me for helping them make the decision not to travel.

 

Now I have heard the arguments that sports allows family bonding or builds character, but do you honestly think for one minute that families sit around the dinner table and say, you know Marge we really need to look at travel soccer in order to build character and to better forge the bonds of family.

 

I'll let you in on a little secret. Sports do not build character. Family builds character. Teachers, friends, mentors, clergy, coaches, the stranger on the street they build the character of a child. It is people that build character. Sports is just one of millions of venues that allows a child the opportunity to express their character and not all character is good. Sportsmanship is no more a character building exercise than any other. Do you think for one minute that Jackie Robinson's character was a product of baseball. His character was forged through family, faith, teammates and the soldiers he served with. When he entered baseball it was a bastion of racism. The character of Jackie Robinson elevated baseball…it transcended the sport, not the other way arounnd. Everything that is great about sport or anything for that matter is the people.

 

I love sports. I would watch sea urchin bowling if it were on TV, but I have little doubt that the culture has changed dramatically since the seventies and eighties. The pushing of a child is one thing, but don't think for a minute that the self-esteem of many a parent is not somehow linked to the success and failure of their kids. This goes way beyond living vicariously, which is bad enough, but leads into something far more destructive. This is why the discussion of this article draws out so much raw emotion…no matter how hard you try too avert your eyes, many of your readers know there is some truth. The mirror can be frightening, even to me.

 

I will leave you with a final thought that is another recurrent theme in many an e-mails to me. It is grandparents. I am stunned by the incredible amount of silent pain many of them are feeling. They tell me the only times they see their grandkids are on holidays, that they do not have the relationship that they had with their own parents and grandparents. They tell me they are afraid of saying anything to their children for fear that it might drive them away even further. They tell me that for the most part they pretend to like to go to these events, but it is physically exhausting especially when it comes to walking long distances to fields, carrying chairs and sitting in the sun. In addition there is really not a whole lot of time to interact with their grandkids even if they are there; outside of a quick hug and a hello. In the word of one grandma, I pray I do not fall sick or start to die on a weekend because I know that my children and my grandchildren will not be there.

 

As I said in the article thousands thrive, thousands don't. I stand by my column and I am glad that it has allowed people the opportunity to pause. Discussion is a good thing and I appreciate you reaching out to me. All the best Rob and all the best to your readers and If you do decide to post my thoughts, I would ask that you include your email correspondence to me as an introduction to my response.

 

Louis M. Profeta

[UKMustangFan]

^That email response only further enforces my thoughts that this guy is a complete moron, who has some major issues.

[mexitucky]

Just as sports doesn't build character, it doesn't destroy the family fabric. If family is a priority, nothing gets in the way. Travel sports reveal the cracks in the foundation faster. Stereotypes and generalities.

 

And for the record....this isn't some new issue that this guy has "enlightened" everyone to. This is something that is discussed ad nauseum. He's awfully full of himself.

[woodsrider]

^That email response only further enforces my thoughts that this guy is a complete moron, who has some major issues.

 

Because you don't agree with him he's a moron?

[spindoc]

All those weekends of travel bonded my son and I as well as made lifelong relationships with the families of the kids I coached. Oh, and it got my son a full ride to college, so there's that.

[nkypete]

I believe that I will be a new grandparent within the next couple years (if my sons cooperate). I plan on being involved in their lives. That is my decision. If it means seeing their games somewhere, great, I'll be there. If it means that they are coming over to spend the weekend, great, the rooms are ready and we will have a blast. I won't sit and wait for them to come to me. I've had the talk with my sons already...I'm not going to settle for a superficial relationship with my grandkids. I will not supercede the relationships my grandkids have with their parents, but I will enhance them. If it is to be, it's up to me.

 

Regarding this debate, situations are different from family to family. I wanted my son to be involved in some group activity or a team sport. The discipline of high school football helped him mature. An individual sport or activity is not the same. In my opinion, spending the time inside constantly playing video games and not going outside to play is more of an issue than sports.

[UKMustangFan]

Because you don't agree with him he's a moron?

 

No, he's a moron because he's making wide-sweeping broad generalizations.

 

It is funny you single out my post though...

Edited April 17, 2014 by UKMustangFan

[theguru]

To add more depth, the Doc and I exchanged a little more email (some private stuff) but in short he has three children that all are in the middle of successful high school and college athletic careers. And the good Doctor is a competitive boxer of all things. The points I am making is the Doc is not some geek and he has plenty of parenting/athletics experience.

[TheDeuce]

To add more depth, the Doc and I exchanged a little more email (some private stuff) but in short he has three children that all are in the middle of successful high school and college athletic careers. And the good Doctor is a competitive boxer of all things. The points I am making is the Doc is not some geek and he has plenty of parenting/athletics experience.

 

None of that does anything to change the fact that he's painting with a wide brush. The families and people he is describing are the minority, by far.

[UKMustangFan]

None of that does any thing to change the fact that he's painting with a wide brush. The families and people he is describing are the minority, by far.

 

Without question.

[TheDeuce]

I have gotten correspondence from dozens of professional and Olympic athletes, orthopaedic surgeons, physical therapists, sports psychologists, division I athletic directors (their coaches and players and parents) all thanking me for bringing this to light. I have gotten countless correspondence from clergy telling me that attendance has plummeted because of the number of kids playing on Sundays. Financial planners have been telling me how their clients are committing financial suicide in these pursuits. Marriage counselors have been relaying that in their experience countless affairs and divorces stem directly from travel team involvement since the division of spouses on a weekly basis can be a distraction to a marriage (I would have never even thought about that…would you?).

 

Where were these people when he was writing the article? NONE of these people were willing to contribute to the article, or he didn't try?

[woodsrider]

No, he's a moron because he's making wide-sweeping broad generalizations.

 

It is funny you single out my post though...

 

Yours just happened to be the last post. The only other two I noticed called him a moron were fkyw and Crash. I'm not sure if Crash was calling him a moron because of his hat choice or the article. Not sure why fkyw thinks he is a moron.

 

And I disagree that he is making broad generalizations. I think what he says applies to a much larger percentage of the population then some of you want to admit. If it doesn't apply to you then that's awesome but to say he's a moron or has major issues because you disagree is ridiculous. Make and intelligent counter argument if you don't agree. To just say he is wrong and a moron is an immature response.

 

I completely agree with what he says. Does it apply to 100%, absolutely not. Does it apply to 50%, possibly.

[TheDeuce]

I completely agree with what he says. Does it apply to 100%, absolutely not. Does it apply to 50%, possibly.

 

He wrote an opinion article... If the numbers are that high, where are his facts to back it up?