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Men v Women

Featured Replies

Me: "So, where do you want to eat tonight?"

 

My Wife: "Doesn't matter. Anywhere is fine."

 

Me: "Okay, how about (insert restaurant name here)?"

 

My Wife: "Naw....I don't really feel like that tonight."

 

Repeat, repeat, repeat....until I threaten to take her to White Castle or Waffle House if she doesn't come up with an actual solution.

 

:thumb:

 

Me: "What do you want to do tonight?"

GF: "I don't care, you decide"

Me: "Okay, let's go to so and so's, they're having people over."

GF: "That sounds boring. Let's do something else."

Me: "Like?"

GF: "I don't care, you decide"

 

:madman:

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:lol: These are great! And, speaking from a woman's perspective, they're all pretty much right on. :thumb:

Edited by 20/20Hindsight
typo

  • Author

Wife: When did you last talk to (insert best friend name)?

Me: I don't know. 2 weeks ago maybe? Maybe last week. Not sure.

Wife: Why? Are you mad at him?

Men like things bigger women like things smaller.

 

Dogs for example: A man walks into a pet store. He mulls over the different breeds of dogs they have available and upon seeing a bull mastiff, he says. "Now there's a dog. Look how big, tough, and muscular he is. Nobody would mess with him." At the same time, a woman walks into a pet store and immediately runs over to a cage containing a papillon. She lets out an immediate squeal, her voice tearing from high pitched all the way to an untraceable, ultrasonic frequency, followed by "Awwwww...look how precious that little guy is!"

Men like things bigger women like things smaller.

 

Dogs for example: A man walks into a pet store. He mulls over the different breeds of dogs they have available and upon seeing a bull mastiff, he says. "Now there's a dog. Look how big, tough, and muscular he is. Nobody would mess with him." At the same time, a woman walks into a pet store and immediately runs over to a cage containing a papillon. She lets out an immediate squeal, her voice tearing from high pitched all the way to an untraceable, ultrasonic frequency, followed by "Awwwww...look how precious that little guy is!"

 

That's because women want a pet they can take care of, and men want a pet that will take care of them. :lol:

A man has 8 items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar soap, shampoo, a bottle of cologne, and a towel.

 

The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is about 400. A man cannot identify most of these items.

That's because women want a pet they can take care of, and men want a pet that will take care of them. :lol:

 

...then I suppose therein lies the difference.

At basketball games.....

 

Wife: where do you want to sit?

 

Me: Doesn't matter to me. You pick the seat. I am fine wherever.

 

Wife: I always pick the seat.

 

Me: that's because you care about the seat and I don't.

 

Wife: well you pick it. I always pick it.

 

Me: Fine. (sits at halfcourt front row)

 

Wife: This is too close. Let's go up here....(8-10 rows up.):madman::D:isurrender::idunno:

 

 

Me: that's why YOU always pick the seats.....

 

Wife: well then go sit down there if you want to. I am going up here.

 

 

silent treatment until the 3rd quarter or when she is confused about a call.....

When a guy quotes a movie, men do their best to respond with another quote from a movie. When a guy quotes a movie, women do their best to get them to stop quoting movies - forever.

At basketball games.....

 

Wife: where do you want to sit?

 

Me: Doesn't matter to me. You pick the seat. I am fine wherever.

 

Wife: I always pick the seat.

 

Me: that's because you care about the seat and I don't.

 

Wife: well you pick it. I always pick it.

 

Me: Fine. (sits at halfcourt front row)

 

Wife: This is too close. Let's go up here....(8-10 rows up.):madman::D:isurrender::idunno:

 

 

Me: that's why YOU always pick the seats.....

 

Wife: well then go sit down there if you want to. I am going up here.

 

 

silent treatment until the 3rd quarter or when she is confused about a call.....

 

At least you are able to enjoy most of the game. j/k. Kinda...

When a guy quotes a movie, men do their best to respond with another quote from a movie. When a guy quotes a movie, women do their best to get them to stop quoting movies - forever.

 

HAHAHAHA...I love quoting from Tombstone. My wife enjoys it too, which is really cool...except for she quotes from the lady in the movie (Wyatt's love interest). I try to explain to her that you can't quote from a woman in the movie Tombstone because...well, because you just can't. She now continues this just to get on my nerves. :lol:

That's because women want a pet they can take care of, and men want a pet that will take care of them. :lol:

 

Well played.

Most women have 17 purses. In addition to these, they also have a vehicle, which is essentially one huge purse in their minds.

At least you are able to enjoy most of the game. j/k. Kinda...

 

:lol::lol::lol:

Grudges.

 

I can get into an arguement that almost comes to blows with my best friend, say lots of stupid things and the next day we're still best friends as if the incident never happened. My girlfriend ended her friendship with her "best friend" because she had to find out from Facebook the sex of the baby her "best friend" was having. :lol:

 

I've often heard women (some of whom I believe & some I think just like to be flirts) say something to the effect of, "This is why I have more guy friends than girl friends. Girl friends are just too high maintenance."

 

I've seriously seen a number of very close friendships become, at best, acquaintances or at worst, no friends at all--and over the most trivial matters.

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