I broke up with my current fiance a couple years back.. We were off for around 3 or so months, and at the time of the breakup I was pretty sure there was no chance of us ever getting back together...

 

Fast forward a couple of months, and I'm dying for her back. She wanted nothing to do with me at first, and I of course tried to play it cool like I didn't really need her either... But she eventually gave me another chance, and things have been perfect ever since. I treat her so much better this time around, because I had enough time to see what I was like without her, and I didn't like myself all that well. We rarely ever fight, and just love being in each other's company.

 

The break absolutely can be the best thing to ever happen to a couple who is unsure of what the future may hold... But he can't wait around forever. If there is something better that comes along, I don't think you can pass on it waiting on something that may or may not happen.

Go out and find the hottest girl you can get and date her. Break it off clean with current one and go cold turkey with her. If you chase her she will run for sure.

What are their ages ?

 

In their lower 20's.

My advice:

 

1. Give her some space. If she can't be with him now, then she won't want to be with him if he's annoying the crap out of her. With some space she will either realize that she is better off with him or that she is happy without him. No point in getting back together if they are going to continue to be unhappy. Also, crawling and begging his way back sets up a pattern of her leading a one-sided relationship, which never works.

2. Tell your friend to go have some fun. Who knows, he may find a girl who suits him better when he isn't looking. You can't search for a relationship or try to fix one that doesn't work, IMO.

3. IF they always fight and don't get along, he's better off trying to move on, IMO. What makes him happy is probably the security that a relationship brings, and not the actual relationship that he is in.

4. Tell him to remain level headed. The one of the worst feelings in the world is to see the person you still have feeling for, being with someone else. It sucks, but there is no way around it. If they officially end it, seeing her with someone else will be good in the long run, IMO. It's all down-hill from there.

5. If they take a break, DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT tell him to just start playing the field and just going after every woman that walks his direction. Two reasons for that really:

a. Trying to make someone jealous is stupid and pointless. Nothing good comes out of it.

b. Filling the void of a relationship with unimportant women really just masks the pain of not being with the one you have deep feeling for. Sure he'll feel better for a few days or weeks, but it prolongs the amount of time it takes to truly get over someone.

 

 

Pretty much I'd say whatever the common answers people give him, just discard them. Most people agonize way to long over relationships because they have techniques that just put their pain aside instead of dealing with it. Anyone who has been in a long relationship is going to be hurt when its over. Don't try to hide it, but don't obsess over it either. If your friend needs to talk about it for a bit, let him. But don't let it consume his conversations either though. Like Usher said, "Just let it burn".

 

Just my two cents. I don't know if he'll find this helpful, but honestly things will work out for him. He really needs to give it some space, and let it work itself out. Most likely, from the info you've given, I'd have to agree with some on here that the relationship is probably over, but it's always been my personal belief that you really don't know your significant other or the strength of your relationship until you've had some time away from eatch other.

 

-Peace,

Cats3X

Mainly....

 

Have some restraint. He doesn't want her to take him back just because he is begging and crying. Also he really isn't setting himself up for success if she comes crawling back because she is jealous that he is taking out other women. He should just back off and play the cards he is dealt.

 

-Peace,

Cats3X

Edited October 20, 200916 yr by Birdsfan

My advice is to start drinking heavily.

 

Seriously, not saying this is the case but it sounds like she has someone else she wants to try out. If I were him I would not have any contact with her. Make her make the first move. When and if she calls he needs to act like he couldn't care less to talk to her. I don't mean for him to be a jerk but keep it short and sweet. If she really still cares for him she'll be back. Oh, and take the chance to date as many new women as possible.

My advice is to start drinking heavily.

 

Seriously, not saying this is the case but it sounds like she has someone else she wants to try out. If I were him I would not have any contact with her. Make her make the first move. When and if she calls he needs to act like he couldn't care less to talk to her. I don't mean for him to be a jerk but keep it short and sweet. If she really still cares for him she'll be back. Oh, and take the chance to date as many new women as possible.

 

I was thinking the same thing about the girl having a new guy. I'd put money on it.

 

Take out women, but take them out to have fun. Don't just start dating because you don't know how to act when you don't have a girlfriend. All single guys/girls should take out as many people that interest them as they can. But, dating just because you feel bad about yourself doesn't help anyone in the long term, IMO.

 

-Peace

Cats3X

In their lower 20's.

 

They both are very young. Stay away, and move on. When I was in my 20's I had my heart broke a couple of times and even broke a couple hearts. I enjoyed every relationship I had at that age as I look back on them now.

 

I think you learn the most about yourself as a person when your down and not smiling. Hang in there, there's more than one Cinderella out there.

Time to move on, I had an ex girlfriend who I bickered with over pointless stuff constantly and thought that's how relationships are. We started out on a break much like this after dating for a few years, then got back together and within 6 months she was cheating on me with someone who she didn't "bicker about all the little stuff with". Then I found someone else who I loved more and didn't bicker about the little stuff with and my life is ten times better because I didn't wind up settling for someone who I bickered with. When the right one comes along bickering about the little stuff just doesn't happen.

Give her space if you can, its hard but usually if just ignore her for a few days it'll drive her nuts.

 

Just give her a little time and if she really wants to be with him she will come back. :thumb:

He needs to move on. The one who loves the least always has the power.

 

Wow...funny you should say this. A guy at work and I were talking about that exact same thing today.

He should find another woman and move on. It's over.

 

 

Bingo.

 

She is playing head games.

My advice:

 

1. Give her some space. If she can't be with him now, then she won't want to be with him if he's annoying the crap out of her. With some space she will either realize that she is better off with him or that she is happy without him. No point in getting back together if they are going to continue to be unhappy. Also, crawling and begging his way back sets up a pattern of her leading a one-sided relationship, which never works.

2. Tell your friend to go have some fun. Who knows, he may find a girl who suits him better when he isn't looking. You can't search for a relationship or try to fix one that doesn't work, IMO.

3. IF they always fight and don't get along, he's better off trying to move on, IMO. What makes him happy is probably the security that a relationship brings, and not the actual relationship that he is in.

4. Tell him to remain level headed. The one of the worst feelings in the world is to see the person you still have feeling for, being with someone else. It sucks, but there is no way around it. If they officially end it, seeing her with someone else will be good in the long run, IMO. It's all down-hill from there.

5. If they take a break, DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT tell him to just start playing the field and just going after every woman that walks his direction. Two reasons for that really:

a. Trying to make someone jealous is stupid and pointless. Nothing good comes out of it.

b. Filling the void of a relationship with unimportant women really just masks the pain of not being with the one you have deep feeling for. Sure he'll feel better for a few days or weeks, but it prolongs the amount of time it takes to truly get over someone.

 

Pretty much I'd say whatever the common answers people give him, just discard them. Most people agonize way to long over relationships because they have techniques that just put their pain aside instead of dealing with it. Anyone who has been in a long relationship is going to be hurt when its over. Don't try to hide it, but don't obsess over it either. If your friend needs to talk about it for a bit, let him. But don't let it consume his conversations either though. Like Usher said, "Just let it burn".

 

Just my two cents. I don't know if he'll find this helpful, but honestly things will work out for him. He really needs to give it some space, and let it work itself out. Most likely, from the info you've given, I'd have to agree with some on here that the relationship is probably over, but it's always been my personal belief that you really don't know your significant other or the strength of your relationship until you've had some time away from eatch other.

 

-Peace,

Cats3X

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

It's the truth though. I think that's a huge reason why people don't get over their X's as quick.

Thanks for all of the advice. They officially split tonight as she said she needs time to think, but she still wants to talk to him during this time, so I have no idea what's in the cards for these two. She says she still cares about him and wants to be friends but can't handle the relationship right now.