Having gone through a somewhat similar scenario with Mrs. Hearsay, the only comfort I can offer is the hope found in the parable of the Prodigal Son. What if you were to slaughter the fatted calf for this man?

 

Hearsay, the Prodigal Son was repentent. That's a critical part of the parable.

 

Not sure if the man in RebelK's situation is or is not....

Hearsay, the Prodigal Son was repentent. That's a critical part of the parable.

 

Not sure if the man in RebelK's situation is or is not....

 

Very true. I'm just trying to be this guy walking up the walkway, and if there was someone on the front porch holding a cool sasparilla for him, it might make repentance easier.

RebelK,

 

If it's any consulation . . . this man will probably walk back out of your life for another 25 years very soon. I understand his grandchild wanting to make contact (if for no other reason than to know where/who she came from) but if this man has been MIA for this long, his attention to his family probably won't last very long. Let his grandchild make up her own mind concerning her grandfather. She will soon come to realize that having a relationship with an individual who would throw his children over for whatever reason isn't worth having in her life.

 

I'm speaking from personal experience here and your situation may be different but . . . I would go 10-15 years between contacts with my mother. I have always been the one to initiate these contacts and after a year or so would tire of the empty promises and one-sided contact attempts. It's been about 2 years again since I've spoken to her and it was 13 years before that.

What a horrible situation. However, I think I would stay home and face this guy. He's a guest in your home for the day and then it is over. You rule your roost. I know it may be tough to face him, but your not kids anymore and no one can control you in your own home if you don't let them.

I agree. You can't let this guy think he still has the power. Besides, he's a weasel and a low-life and you don't want to leave your valuables free for the taking -- because he will!

Hearsay, the Prodigal Son was repentent. That's a critical part of the parable.

 

Not sure if the man in RebelK's situation is or is not....

This guy is a freakin' lunatic.

I hope and pray everything turns out OK for you and your family. Maybe just posting this will help you someway.

Just checking back on this thread rebelK. Prayers continue for you and yours. :thumb:

This guy is a freakin' lunatic.

 

Sure sounds like that is putting it mildly.

As Barney Fyffe would say "he's a nut" (I had to try and lighten it up some)

I have a question...I might not have understood, but WHY in the WORLD would this man have to drive your HUSBAND'S car? Why can't his mom ride in any other car? I would NOT let someone drive my car that I did not trust and obviously drinks....he may be drunk when he drives!

 

Sorry for your situation....it is really hard. We have been through something very simular to this. I will not tell PH's story because it is not my place, but, here is my story.

 

I have an aunt who has mental retardation. She had married this man about 35 years ago and had two children with him. The kids had no mental defects upon birth. When my cousin Tina was 2 and her brother, Mikey was 3 months old, my aunt Sandy got a devorce from her husband and gave up her children for adoption. She knew that she should have never given birth to them and knew she could not take care of the correctly. Anyway, my parents were going to adopt them. When we went to pick them up at the court house, we were told that we would have to move out of state (Washington) and never seen our relatives again. My parents decided that they could not do this....they would miss their parents and brothers and sisters too much. So, the kids got adopted out. They went to different homes and were raised in an abusive envioronment.

Recently, they found my aunt, my parents and some other family members. Mikey and Tina have both been in a lot of trouble. (drugs, abusive, etc...etc...etc...stuff I would rather not talk about...etc...) Anyway, my parents were very happy to meet them because these could have been their children and wanted to show them a happy life...heck, it is never too late for a great family and maybe, just maybe, both of them could staighten out their lives. Well, Mikey has 5 kids and Tina one. They are now living together and are living as man and wife...if you know what I mean? Anyway, my parents just found out about this, plus, they are in some kind of big trouble and will not let anyone know what it is.....well, between the two, they have six kids ages 3-16. I called the local authorities in Washington State and talked to a very nice lady dectective. She wanted to know if my husband and I would be willing to take the kids in and take legal and permanent custody of these children. I talked with PH about it and we both agreed to do this. He agreed with me that they are my blood and we did not want these kids to turn out like my cousins did. Had my parents adopted them, they probably would not have turned out the way they did. We did not want to make the same mistake with thier kids. Plus, adoptions have changed so much, now, we wold not have to stay away from Washington State or our relatives if we adopted them like my parents would have had to do with Tina and Mikey. My parents know these kids and said that they are great kids...the 16 year old has issues as the 11 year old does, but all the younger kids have great promise...and these 2 do as well if we can just get ahold of them and maybe get them counseling and such.

It was all set up...was not going to be a hard thing because these kids have been in care a couple of times (doesn't that make you sick!) And, the fact that I was a blood cousin would make the adoption a very simple thing. PH and I found out that for the two oldest, we would get monetary help and we would get a living allowence for all of them though the VA because they would be dependants...so, everything was set to go.....however, Mikey and Tina are now missing with the kids. PH and I were told that they have come up missing before and were wanted for 10 years. So, now we don't know what will happen. We love these kids sight unseen...we have not had the opportunity to meet them or Tina and Mikey....even though I don't want to meet these two scum bags (yes, I know that they are my cousins and could have been my siblings, however, they are scum bags!!). We want the kids and, to me, if feels like my children have been kidnapped! They have been gone a month now.

I was not going to say anything about this, but, with RK's situation, I just wanted her to know that I am behind her on her situation. Hang in there chick, it will get better...I hope, for both of us.

 

BTW, I really enjoyed talking with you today!!! Hey BF, you have to take turns when we are on the phone!!!!

Wow Mrs PH! Makes you wonder how differently that whole situation would have turned out if your parents werent forced to make such a difficult decision and had been allowed to adopt Mikey and Tina.

Hey BF, you have to take turns when we are on the phone!!!!

I still haven't figured out how you guessed that was me! :confused:

I still haven't figured out how you guessed that was me! :confused:

 

HMMMM!!! Just smart that way I guess!:lol::lol:

Wow Mrs PH! Makes you wonder how differently that whole situation would have turned out if your parents werent forced to make such a difficult decision and had been allowed to adopt Mikey and Tina.

 

Yeah....my parents have second guessed that situation for many years. Now, they really are second guessing themselves. Tina is now 39 and Mikey is almost 37...I am 41, so, I would have grown up without knowing my grandparents and the rest of my family members. I told them that they did what they thought they had to do. But, they do still blaim themselves for the lives that they have and abuse they endured. But, still, they know better and should want better for their children....and also, even though they were adopted to different families, they do know that they are full blooded brother and sister. It is really sick that they are in that kind of relationship. Sick, sick, sick!

R K My thought and prayers are with you and your family. Keep us posted and hope things really work out for you and your family.

Well MrRk and I are finally home and I suppose it went o-kay with the visit.

 

First MrsPH......I guess I didn't explain the car part very well. It wouldn't be the long lost (I wish he still was) who would drive MrRk's car it would be MrRk's nephew this man's son. No way would MrRk allow this fool to drive anything we own.

 

We didn't stay in the house because to be quite honest MrRk just didn't want to see him at all. We struggled with the decision to let him come here or not but in the end MrRk thought it would best for his mom to see him again in our house and not someone else's.

 

From what I can understand they only stay an hour or so and they brought food so I suppose they all sat down and had a nice lunch together. We have not asked anything other than how did it go. We truly don't want to know a lot. We are just praying that he doesn't come back anytime soon.

 

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.