You have shown that you are the bigger person. Stay strong and try to carry on . My thoughts are with you.

OH what a hard and terrible time you are going through. I would just say this, you and hubby are handling it wonderfully. Now, the counselor in me is saying that he is now grown (mr rk) and he is no longer an abuse victim...he does need to start speaking up and stop being the victim and start being and acting like a survivor. This will go right up to his mom. He needs to tell both brother and mom that the phone number will not be given out and, if he already has it, he is not to call there. You can do a block on his number from coming to your phone. Tell Mr Rk for me, please, that what he has gone through is horrible and now, he needs to forgive....both himself for goiing through it ( it was not his fault, but, a lot of times, adults will not forgive themselves from being abused as a child....they think it is thier fault for letting it happen) and forgive his brother for the abuse and his mom for letting it happen. Now, by forgiving, it will set him free (it will not be easy to do...trust me!)....and, by forgiving does not mean a fresh start....he can still "dust his feet" of his brother. Mr RK and you have been very nice, however, it might be time for your hubby to find his voice and put a stop to some of the things that are going on!

 

And always remember, I am here to talk if you need to....just a phone call away!

OH what a hard and terrible time you are going through. I would just say this, you and hubby are handling it wonderfully. Now, the counselor in me is saying that he is now grown (mr rk) and he is no longer an abuse victim...he does need to start speaking up and stop being the victim and start being and acting like a survivor. This will go right up to his mom. He needs to tell both brother and mom that the phone number will not be given out and, if he already has it, he is not to call there. You can do a block on his number from coming to your phone. Tell Mr Rk for me, please, that what he has gone through is horrible and now, he needs to forgive....both himself for goiing through it ( it was not his fault, but, a lot of times, adults will not forgive themselves from being abused as a child....they think it is thier fault for letting it happen) and forgive his brother for the abuse and his mom for letting it happen. Now, by forgiving, it will set him free (it will not be easy to do...trust me!)....and, by forgiving does not mean a fresh start....he can still "dust his feet" of his brother. Mr RK and you have been very nice, however, it might be time for your hubby to find his voice and put a stop to some of the things that are going on!

 

And always remember, I am here to talk if you need to....just a phone call away!

Thanks MrPH...I do know you are there for me because you have been so many other times and for that I do so thank you.

 

MrRk has forgiven all involved with him years ago but he said he can't forget and for that I can't blame him. He says that he should never have allowed him into our home and for that he is sorry. I can't begin to explain how violated it feels to know that this person who beat MrRk so many times was sitting at our table and eating from our plates, while we were out wondering around the countryside just to give them time alone. How much does this family expect from MrRk? Well I can tell you this much, he will not be back in our home and MrRk says that if he calls our phone much he will have the number changed.

 

It's just like everyone has forgotten what a stinker this man was and they are welcoming him back into their lives. Well I have heard that horrible stories about MrRk and this man will not be welcomed back into our lives to turn it upside down again. I hope no one thinks harsh of me but I cannot allow this man to come back into my husband's life and make his life miserable again. MrRk is stronger and now has a voice and he will use it.

 

We are going today to make sure that MrRk's will is so tied that this man cannot step in and take a thing away from me in case something happens to MrRk. MrRk has some stuff fixed in order to take care of his mom in case she outlived him but that is going to change today also. Everything will be in my name and I will see that his mom is taken care of.

 

We have had to rethink our whole life in a matter a days and this has made our heads spin.

 

Thanks to everyone for listening to me....it helps just to vent.

You are finding a way to make something good out of something horrible, RK. This is a wonderful opportunity to make sure that everything is set up in the event that something should happen to one of you.

 

You all have more than done your part, there is no reason he should ever be allowed in your home again. As far as those plates and chairs go, just spray some Clorox Clean Up on them and they will be fine! Forgiveness is wonderful, and I truly admire Mr. Rk for being able to find it in his heart--but he does not ever have to forget.

Poor you and your hubby. You all are great for each other. He never does have to forget....to forget is to let history repeat itself. I am happy he was able to forgive. Go out and purchase new plates, cups and silverware!!! Give the one's he used to charity! LOL

 

Seriously, has Mr Rk ever wrote his brother a loooonnnnggg letter about all of his feelings and such? After the letter is written, he can send it to him, or, he can burn it. To burn it is a symbol of burning all the hurt, anger, and such. This method really works great for many, many people.

There seems to be so much hurt there....really, it does. When someone is mad at another, if you think about it, the anger is just a deep form of hurt, a hurt that we, as humans, can not begin to deal with.

Prayers are here for you and your hubby!

I'm with RP if you need some knuckle sandwiches handed out let me know. Forgiveness is what we should all seek and give, but sometimes I can't be that grown.

I'm with RP if you need some knuckle sandwiches handed out let me know. Forgiveness is what we should all seek and give, but sometimes I can't be that grown.

Forgiveness is what we should all seek but I'm with you...sometimes I just can't be that grown.

 

MrRk was still so upset last night that he just tossed and turned and ended up sitting in our recliner all night. I just feel so very sorry for him. He knows he's a grown man and it's been 27 years but now all those hard times have come back to roost.

 

I being a meek person (:lol:) have already had a talk with his mother this morning and I guess I got my point across. Now whether it does any good or not is yet to be seen but she had to be told that we would not give over our home again. That's the one thing that has bothered us the most is letting him come into our home and us leaving it for him. We decided that no matter how much we would like to protect MrRk's mother, we just can't allow that anymore. I can't explain just how much knowing he was here has creeped me out.

 

I have a lot of missions in my life and my one big mission is my husband. I can't help who doesn't like it but I will do everything in my power to protect my husband. If that means that I have to upset a few people, then they will just have to be upset.

 

MrRk and I have prayed for guidance and tolerance with all of this. We do know that we don't have to try to handle it all ourselves. We know that God is there with us helping us along the way and we thank him for being with us.

I know that was hard for you to have a talk with your mother in law LOL! I am sooo proud of you and MrRK on how you all are handling this. Again, I am really sorry that all this has happened.....you know, you and I have talked about that everything happens for a reason. I wonder why this happened? HMMMM

What a horrible situation. However, I think I would stay home and face this guy. He's a guest in your home for the day and then it is over. You rule your roost. I know it may be tough to face him, but your not kids anymore and no one can control you in your own home if you don't let them.

 

Well said Henry!

 

RK you can borrow my taser.

 

WOW, WOW, WOW!

Well said Henry!

 

RK you can borrow my taser.

 

WOW, WOW, WOW!

WOW, WOW

 

Let's just hope that he went back to Ohio and doesn't come back around for another 27 years

WOW, WOW

 

Let's just hope that he went back to Ohio and doesn't come back around for another 27 years

:thumb:

An old bully can't learn new tricks, but they can be arthritic and slow (being that he was found in a bar, and his lack-of-sanity history, I doubt he's been on an organic diet and heavy excersize regime all these years)... don't be afraid of him, and don't be afraid to let him KNOW you're not afraid of him.