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Things I Learned From The Movies


Watusi

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We've had our Kentucky-isms in the other thread, I thought maybe we could share some stuff we learn from movies.

 

Here's a few...

 

 

Cold Case detectives criminals will confess when confronted with weak evidence and speculation, no matter how circumstancial. Must be their conscience bothering them all those years.

 

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

 

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

 

The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

 

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

 

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

 

Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

 

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

 

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

 

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

 

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

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Excellent observations, I've contemplated almost every one of them.

 

Have you noticed that a single shot bolt action rifle is a one shot/one kill weapon yet any automatic weapon can be fired thousands of times into a crowd without ever hitting anyone?

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Excellent observations, I've contemplated almost everyone of them.

 

Have you noticed that a single shot bolt action rifle is a one shot/one kill weapon yet any automatic weapon can be fired thousands of times into a crowd without ever hitting anyone?

 

Or that a colt M1911 always seems to have like 20 rounds even though the mag is single stack and can only hold about 7 round, 8 if you top it off in the chamber.

 

Or the fact that a bullet always causes a gas tank to explode.

 

Oh and that in space there are big explosions, which is amazing considering there is no oxygen.

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Villains die quickly, in gruesome and painful ways. Other bad guys die instantaneously, with little effort. Good guys take massive damage, then linger long enough to give a ten minute death soliloquy.

 

If a monster, or psycho muderer is lurking about, or any bad guy has a gun...DO NOT WEAR WHITE!!

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Detectives solve murder cases very fast, and as soon as they solve one there is another serial killer just starting to murder more people. And crime labs will spit out evidence in a matter of seconds, no wait necessary.

 

Oh, and there is no need for SWAT in most cases. The detectives can just burst right in and take down the criminals on their own!

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Anyone running away from a monster or an axe murderer will invariably trip over a root and sprain an ankle.

 

Apparently looking back causes one to loose a tremendous amount of a lead. The monster/serial killer/whatever need only walk at a normal pace yet as soon as the victim, who was running full speed but looking back, trips, its all over.

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