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I’m surprised there isn’t more kids quit on some of the really weak teams when I played we always had a good team and I always wondered in the back of my mind what keeps kids coming back each practice and game when they just continue to get blasted each week in my mind that’s the kids we should applaud anyone can play when you’re winning but it takes some real integrity to stick it out when you’re not.

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I still believe what makes a player quit is the attitude of the team. As a coach you need to involve all your players and make it as positive as possible. In a losing or disappointing season this is harder than normal but it can be done.

 

On a football team with 40+ high school age boys I know that this is quite the challenge. Especially in 2019 with parents being more vocally opinionated than ever before through social media.

 

The first way I judge a coach is by how many players are standing behind him on the sideline. I always feel like Marksberry at SK has a huge team. That tells me kids like to play for him.

 

On the flip side if your a large school with a minimal amount of athletes you have an attitude problem. You have to weed that problem out whether it’s a group, a single athlete or maybe even a coach.

 

Most coaches fail to recognize this.

 

However the old saying still stands true; Winning Fixes Everything!

 

Have issue with that last statement. I believe it’s the other way around.

 

Winning is a symptom of a great team culture, not the cause.

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I think you will see that most will say they wouldn't let their kid quit. With that said what happens if a kid decides to quit and walk out on teammates without ever letting parents know first. At that point I don't think a parent could do much to stop it. It makes it hard for a coach to take a player back who just quit, just because the parent doesn't want to let them. At that point it probably would be bad for the team if a coach allowed a player back too who didn't want to be there.

One rule that was ingrained when I was 6 and would never think of violating..."You finish what you start". You can't introduce after the fact, the child has to grow with certain principles encouraged throughout their early years. Then pray.

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I have no problem with a player deciding not to come back for the next season. Playing a sport is a lot of work and commitment. However, I have a major problem with a player quitting during the season. I think it is a valuable life lesson to learn to honor your commitment to the group. If, after the season, a player feels like he or she no longer wants to make the commitment, whatever the reason, then there is no shame in choosing to not do it again. But, parents, please don’t let the athlete quit on the team or themselves during the season.

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I have no problem with a player deciding not to come back for the next season. Playing a sport is a lot of work and commitment. However, I have a major problem with a player quitting during the season. I think it is a valuable life lesson to learn to honor your commitment to the group. If, after the season, a player feels like he or she no longer wants to make the commitment, whatever the reason, then there is no shame in choosing to not do it again. But, parents, please don’t let the athlete quit on the team or themselves during the season.

 

Again, I don't like quitting. But as I said before, if a player really doesn't want to be there, forcing him to stay isn't doing any good for him or the team. If an adult can quit a job they hate, or a marriage/relationship that isn't working, I don't see any reason why a kid can't do the same for a sport.

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Again, I don't like quitting. But as I said before, if a player really doesn't want to be there, forcing him to stay isn't doing any good for him or the team. If an adult can quit a job they hate, or a marriage/relationship that isn't working, I don't see any reason why a kid can't do the same for a sport.

 

I honestly don't think you're comparing apples to apples here. Quitting on a long-term situation like a job, etc. doesn't equate to quitting mid-stream on a short term situation like a sports season. To me that's just rationalization. And, quite frankly, a way for some to make themselves feel better about what they're doing. Learning to follow-through on a commitment is a life skill sorely lacking in some, if not many, people. The sport or event may seem trivial to some, but the mental aspect of commitment and integrity is always important. If you commit, then you finish. If it's not for you, then you don't do it again after it's over, no hard feelings.

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I honestly don't think you're comparing apples to apples here. Quitting on a long-term situation like a job, etc. doesn't equate to quitting mid-stream on a short term situation like a sports season. To me that's just rationalization. And, quite frankly, a way for some to make themselves feel better about what they're doing. Learning to follow-through on a commitment is a life skill sorely lacking in some, if not many, people. The sport or event may seem trivial to some, but the mental aspect of commitment and integrity is always important. If you commit, then you finish. If it's not for you, then you don't do it again after it's over, no hard feelings.

 

I hear you. And those are all valid points. But I still believe if someone truly doesn't want to be there anymore, staying isn't benefiting anyone. If the player isn't happy, and wants to move on, how strong do you think their effort is going to be? How does an unhappy player with negative energy and not giving full effort benefit the team? Is just being there really any different than quitting on your team?

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I hear you. And those are all valid points. But I still believe if someone truly doesn't want to be there anymore, staying isn't benefiting anyone. If the player isn't happy, and wants to move on, how strong do you think their effort is going to be? How does an unhappy player with negative energy and not giving full effort benefit the team? Is just being there really any different than quitting on your team?

 

Granted. However I like to see this as a teachable situation. Yes, you'll be dealing with some negativity or some complacency and even lack of effort. But using the situation to teach something other than maybe the sport itself is invaluable in my eyes. Hard to do, maybe, but not impossible by any means. Utopian? Maybe also, but I'm kinda like that I guess.

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My guess is the parents are part of the problem. Instead of coaching their child about how to work through tough situations they are probably complaining about the coaches themselves. They probably have unrealistic expectations for their child and are looking for someone or something else to put the blame on for why their child isn't getting more playing time or isn't the star.

 

I agree 100%. I'm close to a number of football programs and interact with the coaches of another 12-15 teams every year. These coaches and I frequently talk about this very thing.

 

I am absolutely positive that this is not the only problem...and I would totally support any parent who urged / allowed their child to quit a team that had a poisonous environment, an abusive coach, or any kind of situation in which they reasonably felt endangered the health/welfare of their child. As parents, that's our obligation.

 

BUT...I'm totally against allowing my son to quit a team because he misunderstood the amount of work necessary, or he wasn't getting enough playing time, or the other kids didn't like him, or the coach is "dumb", or because the team is losing, or....ad nauseum.

 

Bottom line is life isn't always a bowl of chocolates. Do we want our lesson to our kids be that when things are disappointing, that our chief response is to blame others and quit?

 

I raised two sons, both of whom were HS athletes, running cross country, track, and playing baseball. Been there, done that. (That said, we were pretty fortunate in regards to coaching and athletic programs...my kids never entertained the thought of quitting...) BUT...if my kids had said that they wanted to quit...I would have strongly discouraged it. Even if I thought the coach was a horrible coach, I would have done everything to require my kids to stay the course. It's all about the "life lessons" - who among us hasn't worked for a terrible boss at least once in our life? For most of us, quitting isn't an immediate option. We all generally have to "play out the season" before we have the option to move along to another job, etc.

 

The sooner the kids learn this, the better. And along the way, they may find that they not only learn perseverance, they learn a few other valuable coping skills and talents.

 

CM

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I’m surprised there isn’t more kids quit on some of the really weak teams when I played we always had a good team and I always wondered in the back of my mind what keeps kids coming back each practice and game when they just continue to get blasted each week in my mind that’s the kids we should applaud anyone can play when you’re winning but it takes some real integrity to stick it out when you’re not.

 

I agree. They must play for the love of the game. I have much respect for those kids!

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Granted. However I like to see this as a teachable situation. Yes, you'll be dealing with some negativity or some complacency and even lack of effort. But using the situation to teach something other than maybe the sport itself is invaluable in my eyes. Hard to do, maybe, but not impossible by any means. Utopian? Maybe also, but I'm kinda like that I guess.

 

One of the really important life lessons is the original "committment decision". Don't commit frivously because that commitment has repercussions to be lived with. If we can just walk away then the seriousness and thought processes of committing become of little value and our committments become non-binding and eventually meaningless.

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  • 1 month later...
I still believe what makes a player quit is the attitude of the team. As a coach you need to involve all your players and make it as positive as possible. In a losing or disappointing season this is harder than normal but it can be done.

 

On a football team with 40+ high school age boys I know that this is quite the challenge. Especially in 2019 with parents being more vocally opinionated than ever before through social media.

 

The first way I judge a coach is by how many players are standing behind him on the sideline. I always feel like Marksberry at SK has a huge team. That tells me kids like to play for him.

 

On the flip side if your a large school with a minimal amount of athletes you have an attitude problem. You have to weed that problem out whether it’s a group, a single athlete or maybe even a coach.

 

Most coaches fail to recognize this.

 

However the old saying still stands true; Winning Fixes Everything!

I agree. I know of a case where a coach was more worried about stats than he was about wins. Started a season with roughly 58 players and ended with low 30’s #’s. Players do not respect him as a coach or as a person. How could a piece of work like this ask a young man to sacrifice his body on the field? The answer to this is ... he can’t. It is a 2 way contract. If a coach is a joke, you can’t expect a player to waste his time. Just my thoughts....

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