I get it. I'd just rather acknowledge the elephant in the room rather than have my kids put on a show for me. My feeling is that by doing so I'd be encouraging them to be dishonest with me when the reality is we all know it's not true the days they aren't staying at the house.

 

Again, I'm speaking about older college kids, not teenagers.

 

Not encouraging dishonesty. If they were 100% direct and honest with me about their relationship outside my house, I would still ask that they respect my standards when in my house. Hopefully my children respect me enough to honor that request.

Not encouraging dishonesty. If they were 100% direct and honest with me about their relationship outside my house, I would still ask that they respect my standards when in my house. Hopefully my children respect me enough to honor that request.

 

Again, not saying you are wrong. I just look at things differently. And if my adult children were bringing home a parade of Different BF's/GF's every month, I might feel and react differently. But I just don't view a long term committed relationship as a morally bankrupt standard.

I wouldn't allow my high school aged daughter to have boys sleeping over...period. At 18, they could sleep over in separate beds and with an understanding that I'm not afraid of a manslaughter charge if he makes a mistake.

Guess it really depends on how soon you want to be called grandma or grandpa.

You'd be surprised(maybe even shocked) at what your little darlings are doing.

You'd be surprised(maybe even shocked) at what your little darlings are doing.

No one is shocked. That's not the premise of the OP.

I may be a prude, but is this a serious question?

 

You may be. I think the questioner had serious intent. I don't think it is that all that uncommon for parents to allow these sleepovers. Certainly not saying it's the thing to do, but some parents do allow such a thing.

I know I'm an over the top parent but my girls will never even be in a serious enough relationship in HS, to ask me that question. I've been pondering it and I couldn't even imagine a scenario of them asking.

I know I'm an over the top parent but my girls will never even be in a serious enough relationship in HS, to ask me that question. I've been pondering it and I couldn't even imagine a scenario of them asking.

 

You can't make them not get involved in a relationship no matter what rules make and how much supervision you impose. That being said, by encouraging honesty, and having good conversation and teaching them well, you can prevent a lot of problems from happening and give them the foundation to make good decisions. But part of growing is learning how to handle and manage relationships, and you likely won't be able to have a good one until you screw a couple up. Again, not saying opposite sex sleepovers for teenagers is part of good parenting. It's not. But I do believe that giving your kids some space and freedom to make decisions is.

I just asked Mrs. Plantmanky, she said,

 

"maybe if they are engaged, he can sleep on the property, but not in the house."

 

 

Our poor kids.

You can't make them not get involved in a relationship no matter what rules make and how much supervision you impose. That being said, by encouraging honesty, and having good conversation and teaching them well, you can prevent a lot of problems from happening and give them the foundation to make good decisions. But part of growing is learning how to handle and manage relationships, and you likely won't be able to have a good one until you screw a couple up. Again, not saying opposite sex sleepovers for teenagers is part of good parenting. It's not. But I do believe that giving your kids some space and freedom to make decisions is.

 

I'm ok with growing and learning I'll just be coaching them along the way, letting them know high school love is 90% of the time is puppy love. It's not sleep over, pretend to be married love in my book.

Over my dead body... and I would do my best to make sure the boyfriend's was at least bloodied and broken.

I'm ok with growing and learning I'll just be coaching them along the way, letting them know high school love is 90% of the time is puppy love. It's not sleep over, pretend to be married love in my book.

 

I agree. And I'd wager it's more than 90%. As I said, sleepovers are not appropriate. My views change as they get older.

Over my dead body... and I would do my best to make sure the boyfriend's was at least bloodied and broken.

 

I'd rather my kid at least ask so I could say no and be able to use it as a teaching moment, as well as further establishing me as a resource to discuss relationships rather than having her fear me beating her boyfriend to death and in turn fearing beating able to speak to me about her relationships. Macho dads threatening to beat boyfriends up are why teenage girls are so readily sneaking around.

lol. I subscribe to the axiom, "Shoot the first boyfriend and word will get around."

 

I know... your opinion of me has not been helped by my reply but I hope you recognize a bit of sarcasm and lots of hyperbole in both of my answers.

 

My answer to the OP is "No, no way, don't even ask. Do you understand where this is leading? etc."