Being white does not give me standing to speak on behalf of all white people. Being a heterosexual does not give me any special insight that qualifies me to speak on behalf of all heterosexuals. As a conservative, I am an authority only on my own political opinions and those opinions do not represent all people claiming to be conservatives.

 

That is what bothers me about so many of these discussions about homosexuality. There are too many cases of people engaging in both heterosexual and homosexual behavior either at the same time or at different times in their lives to dismiss the opinions of those who claim that they made a choice of one lifestyle over the other (or chose both).

 

As I said in another thread, the compulsion toward homosexuality or heterosexuality may be stronger in some than it is in others but we are not born dumb animals. We have free will and are capable of making personal choices of how we live our lives and those choices should be respected. To assume that another person is simply "confused" and living a lie is extremely arrogant, IMO.

 

I must be a dumb animal because I don't completely follow what you're saying here. Sure we have free will to either act or not act on what arouses us, but bring me a person, straight or gay who actually chose what arouses them.

 

I could be wrong because I'm not walking in your shoes, but I'm assuming that all of you straight folks out here had developed a non-chosen natural attraction towards the opposite sex before you ever chose to act on or not act on your attractions.

 

I assuming that you didn't wake up one day and decide to be straight. I'm assuming that it was a natural part of your sexual development.

 

In a predominately straight world, when one realizes that they're developing a socially unacceptable attraction to the same sex, it very well could add a ton of confusion to one's life when they realize that they're not developing in the way that the society around them has informed them that they should be.

 

That individual either continues on with a ton of confusion and paranoia, or they become introspective with a survivalist's need to form a self-awareness to learn how to live in this world that isn't always so kind to someone that is different.

 

Eventually and thankfully, I was able to manage to go the way of the later, and I feel blessed that I had loving parents, friends and family that made it their priority to understand me, which made all the difference in my leading a happy adjusted life.

 

I clearly recall my thinking in early adolescence where I'd say to myself "OK...I guess this is just some weird phase I'm going through and certainly the natural straight part of me is gonna kick in any day now"

 

I'm still waiting.

 

I had to come to terms a long while ago that it just wasn't going to happen.

 

I've time and again in my life have seen very confused folks with regard to their own sexuality, and especially gay married men who married young with the hopes of leading a straight life, but seriously could not no matter how hard they tried, continue on leading a double life, and are constantly suffering through a split self-identity while shifting back and forth in a state of denial, self-hatred, resentment towards more well adjusted homosexuals, and are living an unending life of disturbing paranoia.

 

They have little chance of getting any council and sort their lives out because they're afraid of exposure, and in many situations fear losing everything with their wives and children. How did they manage to father a child you may ask? Well, during the act of conception while performing with their wives, their minds were far away somewhere else on some thought that stimulated them in an effort to get through it.

 

Personally, I never wanted to live like that, and on the flip side, how sad is that for the wife?

 

Thankfully we're starting to live in a time that allows people to adjust before they make the mistake of entering into a false marriage, but the not too distant past spawned tons of these disturbing situations.

 

You might think that a man has only himself to blame for such things, but try if you might to understand the sort of family and social pressures so many in the past had gone through to try to save face, knowing if they lived as they truly were they'd stand the chance of family and friend rejection, and the possibility of losing one's job. Even years ago they stood the chance of being criminally charged.

 

Some of you are not even aware that your own grandpa is gay, and has either lived a double life, or a life of quiet desperation. It may be a more accepting world now, but for some of the older dudes, it's just too late to be real with their lives. Some manage to make a last ditch effort at finally being who they are and depending on their family's reaction, that can go in all sorts of ways from terribly painful to finally a sense of freedom. I've witnessed both.

 

I most certainly went through confusion and fears throughout my teen years, for I worried that I would be expected to someday get married, and also being raised Catholic, I even wondered if this was God's way of calling me to be a priest. Growing up in a somewhat rough neighborhood, I worried about exposure and getting the crap beat out of me by bullies and thugs. I constantly had to fake being straight so that no one would figure me out. The overcompensation lead to ridiculous maladjusted behavior all for the sake of making people think that I was straight. Teen life is hard enough than to have to add all that extra nonsense to it.

 

It would be nice to think that we're all in control of what we're attracted to, or the decisions we make regarding it, and thankfully I feel fortunate that I was able to sort things out and fully live my own life, but the pressures upon so many lead so many into a life of confusion and mal-adjustedness. Many straight folks have never pondered these such things because they never had to, so it can puzzle them into thinking what's the big deal?

 

My thought is that if you know who you are and understand your own development, and that your straightness was not a choice, then it shouldn't be too hard to understand when someone says they are gay and that they didn't choose it either.

 

I promise you that I didn't, and in no way was I interested in leading my confused teen years fearing social ostracism and possible ridicule, rejection, and possibly bodily harm from unfriendly thugs.

 

Here's another thought: Sometimes those gay bashers are actually gay themselves and are overcompensating for fear of their own exposure and they want their punk friends to think that they are as straight as they come.

 

My plea and hope is that we just get to a point of realness in society, and we can once and for all eliminate all the maladjusted behaviors related to people acting out in stupid ways and just feel the freedom to be themselves without fear of persecution.

 

Maybe I'm asking for the moon.

I must be a dumb animal because I don't completely follow what you're saying here. Sure we have free will to either act or not act on what arouses us, but bring me a person, straight or gay who actually chose what arouses them.

 

I could be wrong because I'm not walking in your shoes, but I'm assuming that all of you straight folks out here had developed a non-chosen natural attraction towards the opposite sex before you ever chose to act on or not act on your attractions.

 

I assuming that you didn't wake up one day and decide to be straight. I'm assuming that it was a natural part of your sexual development.

 

In a predominately straight world, when one realizes that they're developing a socially unacceptable attraction to the same sex, it very well could add a ton of confusion to one's life when they realize that they're not developing in the way that the society around them has informed them that they should be.

 

That individual either continues on with a ton of confusion and paranoia, or they become introspective with a survivalist's need to form a self-awareness to learn how to live in this world that isn't always so kind to someone that is different.

 

Eventually and thankfully, I was able to manage to go the way of the later, and I feel blessed that I had loving parents, friends and family that made it their priority to understand me, which made all the difference in my leading a happy adjusted life.

 

I clearly recall my thinking in early adolescence where I'd say to myself "OK...I guess this is just some weird phase I'm going through and certainly the natural straight part of me is gonna kick in any day now"

 

I'm still waiting.

 

I had to come to terms a long while ago that it just wasn't going to happen.

 

I've time and again in my life have seen very confused folks with regard to their own sexuality, and especially gay married men who married young with the hopes of leading a straight life, but seriously could not no matter how hard they tried, continue on leading a double life, and are constantly suffering through a split self-identity while shifting back and forth in a state of denial, self-hatred, resentment towards more well adjusted homosexuals, and are living an unending life of disturbing paranoia.

 

They have little chance of getting any council and sort their lives out because they're afraid of exposure, and in many situations fear losing everything with their wives and children. How did they manage to father a child you may ask? Well, during the act of conception while performing with their wives, their minds were far away somewhere else on some thought that stimulated them in an effort to get through it.

 

Personally, I never wanted to live like that, and on the flip side, how sad is that for the wife?

 

Thankfully we're starting to live in a time that allows people to adjust before they make the mistake of entering into a false marriage, but the not too distant past spawned tons of these disturbing situations.

 

You might think that a man has only himself to blame for such things, but try if you might to understand the sort of family and social pressures so many in the past had gone through to try to save face, knowing if they lived as they truly were they'd stand the chance of family and friend rejection, and the possibility of losing one's job. Even years ago they stood the chance of being criminally charged.

 

Some of you are not even aware that your own grandpa is gay, and has either lived a double life, or a life of quiet desperation. It may be a more accepting world now, but for some of the older dudes, it's just too late to be real with their lives. Some manage to make a last ditch effort at finally being who they are and depending on their family's reaction, that can go in all sorts of ways from terribly painful to finally a sense of freedom. I've witnessed both.

 

I most certainly went through confusion and fears throughout my teen years, for I worried that I would be expected to someday get married, and also being raised Catholic, I even wondered if this was God's way of calling me to be a priest. Growing up in a somewhat rough neighborhood, I worried about exposure and getting the crap beat out of me by bullies and thugs. I constantly had to fake being straight so that no one would figure me out. The overcompensation lead to ridiculous maladjusted behavior all for the sake of making people think that I was straight. Teen life is hard enough than to have to add all that extra nonsense to it.

 

It would be nice to think that we're all in control of what we're attracted to, or the decisions we make regarding it, and thankfully I feel fortunate that I was able to sort things out and fully live my own life, but the pressures upon so many lead so many into a life of confusion and mal-adjustedness. Many straight folks have never pondered these such things because they never had to, so it can puzzle them into thinking what's the big deal?

 

My thought is that if you know who you are and understand your own development, and that your straightness was not a choice, then it shouldn't be too hard to understand when someone says they are gay and that they didn't choose it either.

 

I promise you that I didn't, and in no way was I interested in leading my confused teen years fearing social ostracism and possible ridicule, rejection, and possibly bodily harm from unfriendly thugs.

 

Here's another thought: Sometimes those gay bashers are actually gay themselves and are overcompensating for fear of their own exposure and they want their punk friends to think that they are as straight as they come.

 

My plea and hope is that we just get to a point of realness in society, and we can once and for all eliminate all the maladjusted behaviors related to people acting out in stupid ways and just feel the freedom to be themselves without fear of persecution.

 

Maybe I'm asking for the moon.

In a nutshell, what I am saying is that I do not believe that any of us can speak for everybody else who shares some of our traits, habits, sexual preference, or political positions. Being gay or being a heterosexual does not make anybody an expert on human sexuality. Being white, black, red, or yellow does not qualify one as a spokesperson for an entire race. None of us can speak for more than one human being - ourself.

B-ball-fan, I appreciate you giving us your insight into the topic. I've never thought that you were trying to speak for the whole homosexual community, but that if you feel a certain way or had a certain experience, there are likely others with similar experiences and views.

B-ball-fan, I appreciate you giving us your insight into the topic. I've never thought that you were trying to speak for the whole homosexual community, but that if you feel a certain way or had a certain experience, there are likely others with similar experiences and views.

 

You nailed it. Thank you for understanding it this way. I realize that not everyone has the exact same experience, and that I can't speak for everyone, but from my own experience, and from what so many have expressed to me over the years, I'm pretty sure that what I'm saying represents what a very high percentage of people have gone through, especially when their awareness began near and around adolescence. The last thing a kid wants to be is the odd bird out, so the last thing they're going to do is choose something that's going to make them so.

 

Through my whole coming out years, I watched about every made for TV movie on the topic and in just about all of them I felt a close identity to them. It was comforting because it made me realize that I was not alone in my experience. Some were very well done in expressing what so many have gone through. It's doubtful that those movies were made to represent a rare and insignificant number of people living through the experience.

 

The world and its attitudes seem to be ever changing, and I can't speak for those who as adults, or even young adults venture into sexual experimentation. If they're just following some freaky little trends and partaking in things against their true nature just because in some circles it might be an in thing to do, these are not the people that I'm representing, and I'd venture to say they represent an insignificant portion of folks claiming to be gay or bi or whatever. In some of these peoples' cases I would agree that they indeed have "chosen" their behavior, as I would have serious doubts that it's related to their natural urges.

 

With that said, some people claim to be bi, and although I can't identify, if they look me straight in the face and tell me that that's the way it's always been with them, I really have not much choice than to take them at their word.

 

Since revealing my truth here on BGP I've been over this topic numerous times, and I'm glad that I feel the freedom to, and that so many have been supportive, but at the same time I feel like I've beat a dead horse in some ways. I'd hate for it to appear that this is the only topic that I can contribute to. I don't want to come off as some self-appointed authority up on my soap box, but since it does hit home with me, I can't resist at times to share my thoughts, especially if I hear similar misconceptions that I've been hearing much of my life.

 

At the same time it thrills me too to also see contribution from folks who represent the year 2014 and their thoughts that demonstrate that they've given some clear thought to this, and that they've arrived at a better understanding.

 

At the end of the day, I'm just one person and I do not represent everyone. There are numerous things within the gay community that I do not identify with at all. There are some (not all) who seem to be attention grabbers and while they go overboard to throw their lifestyles in people's faces and go out of their way to act as freaky as they can, they don't realize that their not doing themselves any favors when seeking acceptance from society at large. I might understand a bit of their frustration that makes them act out, but they really need to resist because it's ill-effective.

 

I recently attended the big pride festival in Cincinnati and had to do some serious soul searching as to why the hell I was even there. I've never felt like just because I was gay I had to join a club over it. I'm fine with diversity, but there were tons of people there that came with the intent to make it a freak show. I have a sense of humor, but with many of folks there I failed to see the humor, nor could I identify. I so much wanted to grab the microphone to send a message that going overboard to keep representing a stereotype was not helping them or anyone else. Here's a thought for all of you "How about just being yourself"? and that if some straights seem to cringe around you and feel uncomfortable it's because you're perpetrating it with your ridiculous behavior. You're being just what they think you are and that's not helping your cause.

 

I would never go as far to say that just because someone is gay they're OK in my book and that everyone should bow down to them and respect them. Some make no sense to me at all and they should only be awarded respect if they too are willing to give it.

 

With the way some behave they do nothing but distance themselves from acceptance and approval.

 

Understanding, respect, and acceptance is a two way street. Some get that and some don't.

 

To lay a blanket statement over everything and everyone in the entire world is merely impossible.

 

I suppose my ultimate aim here is to just weed out misconceptions and try to be a voice for those who I'm for certain represent the majority of those with similar experiences, which I've little doubt are most humans claiming to be gay. The minute exception of those dabbling in sexual experimentation outside of their true natural urges, they're a horse of another color.

Good discussion by all. I would like to add that I see a reversal i attitude these days as opposed to 15 years ago. Not in general tolerance, but in the attack of those that still hold on to their conservative views. If we want to accept all for who they are and what they believe, then it has to be a tolerance for everyone. Calling someone a "Bigot" is just as bad as calling a gay person a derogatory slur.

Seems like they are treating this like an exorcism. I'll never understand why people care so much about who someone else chooses as a partner. Mind your own damn business.

Seems like they are treating this like an exorcism. I'll never understand why people care so much about who someone else chooses as a partner. Mind your own damn business.

 

 

 

They treat it like an exorcism because they believe homosexuality is some activity born of Satan that only God can heal. I say they are crazy fools.

If you can pray a gay man straight, does that mean you can pray a straight man gay?

If you can pray a gay man straight, does that mean you can pray a straight man gay?

 

Good question.

 

Doesn't seem to be a big market for that particular service. I wonder why.

They treat it like an exorcism because they believe homosexuality is some activity born of Satan that only God can heal. I say they are crazy fools.

 

But calling them crazy fools is just as insulting and intolerant as anything else. Respect and tolerate what they say and believe. Just like you want them to respect and tolerate what you believe

But calling them crazy fools is just as insulting and intolerant as anything else. Respect and tolerate what they say and believe. Just like you want them to respect and tolerate what you believe

 

Now LadyCamel, you are forgetting what it means to be tolerant. Ignore what Webster's Dictionary tells you it means. Now tolerant means buying into liberal views, no exceptions what so ever.