This is a terrible story as a new step parent a year ago of two girls and a baby on the way how do parents let this happen? I don't know if this girl had stable parents but it would be me 12 feet under before I would allow this to happen. I would have hunted this guy down and all of the parents of those who were bullying her. I just don't get it.

This is a terrible story as a new step parent a year ago of two girls and a baby on the way how do parents let this happen? I don't know if this girl had stable parents but it would be me 12 feet under before I would allow this to happen. I would have hunted this guy down and all of the parents of those who were bullying her. I just don't get it.

 

Try going up against a school (really two schools, middle and high) and getting absolutely NO help with a female bully. Started in 6th grade when my quiet, well liked daughter spoke up to defend another girl who was being called names. The bully had already been kicked out of parochial school into the public middle school. She spent the entire next day at school spreading as many rumors and nasty lies as she could. They flew thru the entire school like wildfire. We receive a tear filled call from our daughter. What she had endured that day would break your heart. Kids she had been friends with since kindergarten treated her like dirt, no one would sit near her, eat lunch with her, nothing. She was devastated. Spoke with teachers, everyone. The kids believed every single lie the bully told. It was horrible. My wife confronted the girl and she lied to her face and called her a wh*re as soon as she turned her back.

 

In classes where they graded other students papers, she would erase answers and mark them wrong so the grade would be lowered. When confronted, she lied again. Girls finally had to be separated. After six months, finally confronted the bully's parents. The response from the father, was " well, you know how girls can be". The mother took the daughters side and insisted that her daughter was an angel and my daughter was imagining things. This continued throughout middle school. School wouldn't do anything, because the bully never did anything where a teacher could catch her.

 

Onto high school. Made sure the girls were in totally separate classes. Somehow the bully's math class graded my daughter's math class papers. She decided to pull the same stunt and mess with the papers. Instead of a perfect score plus extra credit, my daughter received a 31. Another conversation with the school. What did they do? Absoutely nothing. As a junior, the bully decided to try and run my daughter, and another girl in the car with her, into another car on the way to cheer practice. The bully thought it was funny. Called the father yet again and warned him we would press charges. The bully goes to school the next morning, and as she was a teachers aide, walked into my daughter's classroom and started bullying her all over again. This girl literally had the run of the school. Who in their right mind allowed her to be an aide was a total idiot. She ran her mouth up and down the hallways and had my daughter in tears. Had her called into the principal's office with the resource officer, and the lies start up again.

 

The girl has no conscience, no idea of right or wrong, and her parents have supported her at every turn. She lies to get out of everything. This is what we were up against for 7 years...it never ended. We asked a former friend of my daughter's why she never defended our daughter. Her response was " I didn't want her to do to me, what she did to her"...

^Sad story. Sounds to me like this girl was jealous of your daughter in several areas and was trying to bring her down.

 

And the other kids grading the math tests? What kid of teacher does that and why? That would be my first issue with the principal.

 

All the best to your daughter.

^Sad story. Sounds to me like this girl was jealous of your daughter in several areas and was trying to bring her down.

 

And the other kids grading the math tests? What kid of teacher does that and why? That would be my first issue with the principal.

 

All the best to your daughter.

 

 

Thanks. All through middle school, teachers had kids grading other students papers. I don't approve of it, but what can you do? They continued it up into high school too. We never had issues really on the social media, but the problem was her mouth. She WOULD NOT stop running it. She literally would go up and down the hallway ahead of my daughter and spew the most vicious and vile lies and rumors. Parents had and still have no control over this kid. Got her license suspended for part of senior year for too many points on her license. Of course, she is 19 now, but she got pulled over yet again, and charged with posession of an illegal drug, posession of paraphanalia, and intent to distribute. The result? Diversion....Waiting patiently for Karma, but it's been 9 years.

 

Thanks. All through middle school, teachers had kids grading other students papers. I don't approve of it, but what can you do? They continued it up into high school too. We never had issues really on the social media, but the problem was her mouth. She WOULD NOT stop running it. She literally would go up and down the hallway ahead of my daughter and spew the most vicious and vile lies and rumors. Parents had and still have no control over this kid. Got her license suspended for part of senior year for too many points on her license. Of course, she is 19 now, but she got pulled over yet again, and charged with posession of an illegal drug, posession of paraphanalia, and intent to distribute. The result? Diversion....Waiting patiently for Karma, but it's been 9 years.

 

Oh it's coming. That drug history will follow her. Best revenge will be her living like the trash that she is and your daughter being successful.

Try going up against a school (really two schools, middle and high) and getting absolutely NO help with a female bully. Started in 6th grade when my quiet, well liked daughter spoke up to defend another girl who was being called names. The bully had already been kicked out of parochial school into the public middle school. She spent the entire next day at school spreading as many rumors and nasty lies as she could. They flew thru the entire school like wildfire. We receive a tear filled call from our daughter. What she had endured that day would break your heart. Kids she had been friends with since kindergarten treated her like dirt, no one would sit near her, eat lunch with her, nothing. She was devastated. Spoke with teachers, everyone. The kids believed every single lie the bully told. It was horrible. My wife confronted the girl and she lied to her face and called her a wh*re as soon as she turned her back.

 

In classes where they graded other students papers, she would erase answers and mark them wrong so the grade would be lowered. When confronted, she lied again. Girls finally had to be separated. After six months, finally confronted the bully's parents. The response from the father, was " well, you know how girls can be". The mother took the daughters side and insisted that her daughter was an angel and my daughter was imagining things. This continued throughout middle school. School wouldn't do anything, because the bully never did anything where a teacher could catch her.

 

Onto high school. Made sure the girls were in totally separate classes. Somehow the bully's math class graded my daughter's math class papers. She decided to pull the same stunt and mess with the papers. Instead of a perfect score plus extra credit, my daughter received a 31. Another conversation with the school. What did they do? Absoutely nothing. As a junior, the bully decided to try and run my daughter, and another girl in the car with her, into another car on the way to cheer practice. The bully thought it was funny. Called the father yet again and warned him we would press charges. The bully goes to school the next morning, and as she was a teachers aide, walked into my daughter's classroom and started bullying her all over again. This girl literally had the run of the school. Who in their right mind allowed her to be an aide was a total idiot. She ran her mouth up and down the hallways and had my daughter in tears. Had her called into the principal's office with the resource officer, and the lies start up again.

 

The girl has no conscience, no idea of right or wrong, and her parents have supported her at every turn. She lies to get out of everything. This is what we were up against for 7 years...it never ended. We asked a former friend of my daughter's why she never defended our daughter. Her response was " I didn't want her to do to me, what she did to her"...

 

How in the hell did you put up with this for so long???? After awhile I think I would have found myself in trouble for taking care of things my own way if the proper authorities couldn't. I find it sad that the school did absolutely NOTHING to help your child.

How in the hell did you put up with this for so long???? After awhile I think I would have found myself in trouble for taking care of things my own way if the proper authorities couldn't. I find it sad that the school did absolutely NOTHING to help your child.

 

Not to sound too defensive here, but what exactly should the school do? About the only recourse is to send the student home for a few days. FWIW, that rarely, if ever changes any behavior. And, I discipline students all of the time and then have parents call me and say, "why didn't you do anything to that OTHER student" not knowing that I did and me not being able to tell them because of FERPA. Most schools have moved away from having students grade each others' papers for these same FERPA rules so that is the only real issue I see here with the school. The only real recourse is to file charges for harassment, call kids into court and have them testify. Schools are not courts of law and our severest punishments are viewed by some as vacations. Other educators correct me if I am wrong. Lots of counseling and talking can take place but it is not always effective. Sometimes kids simply ACT LIKE they shouldn't and then there is not much that can be done.

 

Also, schools cannot file charges "for" someone.

How in the hell did you put up with this for so long???? After awhile I think I would have found myself in trouble for taking care of things my own way if the proper authorities couldn't. I find it sad that the school did absolutely NOTHING to help your child.

 

It's been a VERY long 9 years. Last two since they graduated haven't been too bad, girls are in different colleges, but it pretty much destroyed any semblance of self esteem in my daughter. Middle school is difficult at best, but to bear the brunt of this stuff from someone that you had been friends with for 5 years prior has had a lingering effect on mydaughter. The girls dad coached both girls in soccer and softball for years, along with our son and his son in soccer and baseball. Here's another story...Got our daughter on a different softball team following sixth grade. Ended up playing with girls all younger than her. She was happy as long as she was away from the bully. We were at St Pius fields with my daughter's team playing while the bully's team had the next game following ours. The bully's dad came up to my wife and daughter who were standing by the bench as my wife was score keeper. He looked at my daughter and asked her why she wasn't playing. My wife asked why he wanted to know. He informed her that the bully had told him my daughter had screamed at her and called her a "B*tch". He wanted to know why she had done that and wanted her to apologize. In the background was the bully snickering with some of the other girls from the team. My wife, after picking her mouth up off of the ground, asked him if he had ever heard our daughter use that kind of language towards anyone, or heard her being mean to anyone else. When he said no, my wife told him that she was sick of his daughter's mouth runnng constantly, and that if she was going to tell such lies, she had better do her homework better beforehand. She then proceeded to tell him that it was impossible for our daughter to scream anything at anyone, much his precious daughter. He wanted to know why. My wife then informed him that our daughter had just had her tonsils removed 3 days earlier and was in too much pain to even whisper, much less scream. She shouldn't have even been out of the house, and certainly not at a softball game, but she wanted to support her team. Plus, she had been standing next to my wife the entire time. Just one of many lies.

 

Problem with the school, no one was willing to go against this girl. There were never any witnesses, much less a teacher around when everything occured. "without a witness, we can't do anything".... She hates my wife with a vengence. My wife is pretty much the only one that sees through all of the lies and crap and it really makes the bully mad that she can't snow her like she has her parents. No child is an angel. Mine certainly aren't, but I find it so incredibly hard to believe that her parents, after being brought into school multiple times for issues, seeing her lose her driving privileges, going to court with her, after all of this time, still are so totally oblivious to how truly evil she is. There is no other way to put it. I have never encountered someone with such disregard for rules, others' feelings, laws, or anyone but herself. She was never punished because her mother believed her lies and everyone was just picking on her and was jealous....The stories I could tell..

Her parents being too lazy to punish or do anything to her did her a serious disservice. That little girl is in for a big surprise when she sees society doesn't fall for that BS. I hate bullies. What goes around ALWAYS comes back around. Maybe her child will be bullied someday and she can see how it is!

Her parents being too lazy to punish or do anything to her did her a serious disservice. That little girl is in for a big surprise when she sees society doesn't fall for that BS. I hate bullies. What goes around ALWAYS comes back around. Maybe her child will be bullied someday and she can see how it is!

 

 

Child Rearing Influences (One of the causes of bullying, other causes are characteristics of the child, and factors of the environment.)

 

There may have been a failure to bond with the parents or the child may not have felt loved. Many parents fail to set limits for their children's behavior and the parents may have used assertive disciplinary methods where control and coercion were a part of the discipline. There are also indications that inconsistent discipline on the part of the parents can produce a bully. If a parent exhibits aggressive behavior and if the child is encouraged to assert him/herself in socially unacceptable ways, the child may become a bully.

Not to sound too defensive here, but what exactly should the school do? About the only recourse is to send the student home for a few days. FWIW, that rarely, if ever changes any behavior. And, I discipline students all of the time and then have parents call me and say, "why didn't you do anything to that OTHER student" not knowing that I did and me not being able to tell them because of FERPA. Most schools have moved away from having students grade each others' papers for these same FERPA rules so that is the only real issue I see here with the school. The only real recourse is to file charges for harassment, call kids into court and have them testify. Schools are not courts of law and our severest punishments are viewed by some as vacations. Other educators correct me if I am wrong. Lots of counseling and talking can take place but it is not always effective. Sometimes kids simply ACT LIKE they shouldn't and then there is not much that can be done.

 

Also, schools cannot file charges "for" someone.

 

I don't know, ace. Most of what you say is true, but I've seen the good and bad of school administrators. I know of one that would have gotten to the bottom of this situation, as he was a hands on, investigative, talk-to-the-studets type of principal, as opposed to simply sitting in an office fielding phone calls from parents and saying there is no proof. In the case of what it being said here, if the school didn't do more than what is mentioned, they did not do enough.

It's sad to see people bullying other people for no reason.

Very interesting discussion. I truly appreciate hearing everyone's viewpoints. I gave up on the schools very early into this. The issue with the math paper tried my patience to no end. I had checked her homework the night that she completed it, it was completely filled out. Went into her folder that way, came out that way. There was no reason for my daughter to erase an answer knowing she would be marked down for it, and no way to know that this girl would be grading it. A clue to the assistant principal, who knew my daughter from elementary school, should've been her mouth hitting the floor when the girl told yet another lie that she had graded the paper in pen. My daughter responded with genuine shock, and replied that she told another lie, because she had borowed a pencil from her to grade the paper. I could see the administration's side as well. But after three years of her doing this to other, even older girls, you would have to be blind not to see a pattern.

 

I can tell you first hand that the parents set no limits whatsoever. She was never punished for anything. There were never any consequences for her behavior. This girl ruled and still does rule the house. She went so far as to tell everyone that her father pushed her down the steps and hurt her, and that her mother had been sleeping with the parish priests. The names that she would call her parents behind their backs would peel paint off of the wall. I still can't decide if the mother is that ignorant, so totally oblivious, or just teched in the head to believe every word out of that girls mouth.

 

Funny thing was when I had to talk to the asst principal at the high school after she tried to run my daughter into another car by cutting into her on the way to cheer practice. My wife had been earlier in the day after the first hysterical tear filled call. She told him the story without mentioning a name. Since it was a school sponsored practice, the school needed to know. He finally asked for the student's name. When my wife told him, he rolled his eyes and shook his head, and said " how did I know it would be her? Will she never stop?" When my wife told him what had gone on in school that very morning, he got very upset. As a peer tutor/aide, this girl would just wander the hallways, walking into random classrooms. The morning following the incident, she "wandered" into my daughter's classroom and started harassing her and bullying her about tattling to her parents. Between classes, she "worked" the hallways spreading lies about it to anyone and everyone. No sooner had my wife taken 10 steps outside the building, came another "put me in another school, get me out of here" teared filled call. This time the girl faced me, the principal, and a police officer. I informed her that if the harassment didn't cease immediately, and I meant immediately, we would press charges with the police for reckless endangerment. We had a witness and we would pursue it without hesitation. And she had the nerve to sit there and lie to my face to try and persuade me that I needed to believe her story. Made me sick.

 

I thought the drug charges would produce a little kick from Karma. I understand the need for diversion. Jail overcrowding, etc. But a few days in jail with some less than desirables would have made it all worth it. It may have been the kick she has needed her entire life.

 

And what started all these years of torment, humiliation, tears and heartache? My daughter, who never spoke up, never said a mean or cruel word to anyone, spoke up for the first time, and defended another girl who was being called names. When I ask her every so often, was it worth it, would she do it again, what does she answer? "YES, I would do it again, because it saved another girl from being her victim."

 

Try going up against a school (really two schools, middle and high) and getting absolutely NO help with a female bully. Started in 6th grade when my quiet, well liked daughter spoke up to defend another girl who was being called names. The bully had already been kicked out of parochial school into the public middle school. She spent the entire next day at school spreading as many rumors and nasty lies as she could. They flew thru the entire school like wildfire. We receive a tear filled call from our daughter. What she had endured that day would break your heart. Kids she had been friends with since kindergarten treated her like dirt, no one would sit near her, eat lunch with her, nothing. She was devastated. Spoke with teachers, everyone. The kids believed every single lie the bully told. It was horrible. My wife confronted the girl and she lied to her face and called her a wh*re as soon as she turned her back.

 

In classes where they graded other students papers, she would erase answers and mark them wrong so the grade would be lowered. When confronted, she lied again. Girls finally had to be separated. After six months, finally confronted the bully's parents. The response from the father, was " well, you know how girls can be". The mother took the daughters side and insisted that her daughter was an angel and my daughter was imagining things. This continued throughout middle school. School wouldn't do anything, because the bully never did anything where a teacher could catch her.

 

Onto high school. Made sure the girls were in totally separate classes. Somehow the bully's math class graded my daughter's math class papers. She decided to pull the same stunt and mess with the papers. Instead of a perfect score plus extra credit, my daughter received a 31. Another conversation with the school. What did they do? Absoutely nothing. As a junior, the bully decided to try and run my daughter, and another girl in the car with her, into another car on the way to cheer practice. The bully thought it was funny. Called the father yet again and warned him we would press charges. The bully goes to school the next morning, and as she was a teachers aide, walked into my daughter's classroom and started bullying her all over again. This girl literally had the run of the school. Who in their right mind allowed her to be an aide was a total idiot. She ran her mouth up and down the hallways and had my daughter in tears. Had her called into the principal's office with the resource officer, and the lies start up again.

 

The girl has no conscience, no idea of right or wrong, and her parents have supported her at every turn. She lies to get out of everything. This is what we were up against for 7 years...it never ended. We asked a former friend of my daughter's why she never defended our daughter. Her response was " I didn't want her to do to me, what she did to her"...

 

I'm not questioning or debating your situation but the part with the car is crossing the line. I would hope to have a rational state of mind but I would be prepared to go to the kids front door and be heard. I am prob not all there I had a bad childhood but I would do my best to solve things rationally but not take no for an answer.

After so many years of parental denial, we pretty much knew that the parents wouldn't do anything or the girl would twist everything around. My wife, knowing this girl for the last 14 years, can pretty accurately predict her response. The father chalks it up to "well, you know how girls can be", and the mother is "our precious baby would never do that". My wife called the house to speak directly with the dad, and the girl answered the phone. My wife refused to give her name and finally the girl put the phone up to her mouth and screamed as loud as she could "dad, Mrs. A is on the phone!" I could hear it across the room.

 

Whenever we spoke with the parents, the harassment escalated. The threat of pressing charges seemed to keep her at bay for a while. The girl did get into a fight with a freshman (another, quiet well liked student), and both got suspended. Parents went to school board and tried to get it removed from file.

 

I just can't figure out how many incidents have to be thrown in their faces, how many times you have to go to school to meet with administration, how many phone calls from other parents have to receive before you wake up and realize your daughter is in fact a bully, and needs some mental help. What kills me is that we found out she is majoring in psychology. I would hope it would give her some insight into herself, but she sees nothing wrong with what she does.