Top 10 Lists

[Watusi]

Do you like Top 10 lists?

 

I always have. I guess it sprang from watching Dave Letterman back when he first started and the Late Show was funny. I think it is a funny and clever way to make a joke (well, 10 jokes) and the more sarcastic or dry, the funnier it is, IMO.

 

Somebody sent me this as part of another email and I picked out my favorites and changed it into a Top 10 list.

 

If you have any favorite Top 10 lists, share them too.

 

 

 

 

Top 10 Things Confucius Never Said

 

10. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works

9. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

8. Its always darkest before dawn, that's the best time to steal your neighbor's newspaper.

7. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

5. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

4. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

3. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

2. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

[Watusi]

It might be fun to do some BGP Top 10 lists also.

 

Top 10 good things about being a BGP member.

Top 10 reasons 00rocket28 should become a monk.

Top 10 things you would never hear at a T/X game.

Top 10 song titles that describe Birdsfan.

Top 10 uses for the weekly Associated Press football poll.

etc.

[Ms Liberty]

Would be interesting will have to think about it.

[Watusi]

Birdsfan would be good at this, but I'm afraid I would be his target. :eek:

[Birdsfan]

Birdsfan would be good at this, but I'm afraid I would be his target. :eek:

Yeah...now you are. :fire:

 

 

Try to set me up, will ya? Fortunately for you, I have to go to a "welcome home" party for one of my favorite kids. So it will be a while.

[Hasbeen]

In deference to our drought, how about a top ten "How dry is it?" list. I'll start and will make no attempt to conceal the fact that mine are brazenly plagiarized.

 

#10. I caught a catfish last night that had a tick on it.

[Watusi]

9. Dick Cheney's hunting buddies bought him a super soaker.

[Hasbeen]

#8. The folks down at the Baptist Church have just been sponging people off.

[Birdsfan]

7. They're retro-fitting the Delta Queen with monster truck tires.

[Hasbeen]

6. The city has closed down two lanes of swimming pool.

[mcpapa]

5. I walked my dog last night and two trees started chasing him.

[Hasbeen]

4. An oldtimer down to the store the other day said he sure wished it would rain. "not so much for me", he said, "but for my grandson. I've seen rain."

[h.s.sportsrbest]

3. The tumbleweeds are dying of thirst.

[kygirl]

2. Its dryer than toast!!!

[stickymitts]

1. Our field turf is turning brown...