Speaking of old school, I've seen a couple women at Mass recently wearing chapel veils. It was like middle 60's all over again. Anybody else seeing that at their parishes?

 

A few years ago I was touring an older couple from England around the local sites including numerous Catholic churches to show them the wonderful architecture in this area, and without fail every time we entered a church, out of the woman's purse came a ladies head scarf so that she could respectfully cover her hair with it. Not sure if every older woman in England does this, but she was most certainly raised to, and I found it to be an interesting and charming ritual somehow.

 

As a small child I remember my Mother and all the other ladies at church wearing lacey veilish type thingys on their head, but little by little that tread began to fade out.

 

My Mom never did stray from always leaving the house, especially if it were raining or in the winter, with a ladies head scarf on to protect her mature woman's styled permed hairdo. If she didn't leave the house with it on she definitely had it with her in her purse just incase.

I am in the camp that is thankful for the soul that is there no matter how they are dressed. That is an issue between them and God and it isn't my place to make any judgement on it. Everyone has their own barometer for that and it isn't really anyone else's place to intervene.

 

Possible exception would be cases of extreme immodest dress or wearing something with a vulgar saying, etc., but I have never seen that.

 

If someone representing a church I was attending took me aside and told me my attire was not appropriate there is a high percentage chance it would be my last visit there.

 

Same goes for when to take children out. I would not let my own kids become a distraction, and would seek out the nursery or the like for a rowdy kid (and they all are rowdy at times). However, that is a parenting decision and I would NEVER intervene and tell somebody they need to remove their kids. That would be sanctimonious to do so, and a huge turn off. We want to encourage young parents to be there not give them a reason to stay home.

 

There was a time during an extra long sermon that my kids got carried away. It was one of those bodily function loud moments, that gets them laughing and the more they stifle the laugh the funnier it gets. Well, before I could get them all quiet, this older woman in front of me turned around and looked at me and said we were rude and should take our conversation elsewhere. I was so humiliated. I almost walked out right then and there with the crew. It was months before I went back to that church again.

Rock n' Roll biker church in Southern Illinois - Come as you are...

 

ROCK N ROLL CHURCH

Rock n' Roll biker church in Southern Illinois - Come as you are...

 

ROCK N ROLL CHURCH

Sort of reminds me of a church I visited twice a few years back. Came to find out the pastor is a wolf in wolves clothing. Bad dude.

Sort of reminds me of a church I visited twice a few years back. Came to find out the pastor is a wolf in wolves clothing. Bad dude.

 

Where was that... In Kentucky somewhere?

 

From what I understand about this R n' R church in Southern Illinois is that they make people like drug addicts and others who might feel uncomfortable, shunned, or judged elsewhere feel welcome and accepted.

 

Other than that I can't say that I know anything about them. Perhaps this one in S.I. serves a purpose with good intentions unlike the one that you experienced.

I'm not a religious person, but I was raised very devoutly in church.

 

1. The only thing that bothers me the most, is when people wears jeans as if it is "dress clothes." This isn't exclusive to church. If you think a button up shirt and tie go with jeans, you need to get a style coach. You're just pretending to be some rough and tumble denim wearing cowboy, so stop it.

 

2. I've never worn a hat during a church service, but I don't get the outrage people have over simply wearing a hat in the building. I stopped by last year to a choral and orchestra rehearsal at a church and just kept my visor on. Some people looked at me like I was handing out Satan trading cards, rather than just sitting there killing time on my phone.

 

3. I've seen church elders attempt to prevent people from attending services based on what the person was wearing. I can think of a specific example in which they were trying to keep a single mom with 3 kids who were wearing shorts, in July in Kentucky to a church with zero AC. She didn't come back. And that's always stuck with me. Because as far as I know, they didn't go anywhere else either.

 

4. Does really, actually matter? If I want to go with jeans and a hoodie, does it really matter? I mean, I'm there. That's the big point in church is physically being there. So if I'm there, then I'm there. I'm not naked or half naked, so I don't get the hang up with clothes.

 

As for me, the rare occasions I go to church are for Mother's Day and other holidays. It's always nice pants, nice shirt, well picked out and seasonally appropriate bow tie and frequently a jacket of some sort. No other reason is that some of the snootier people at the church think I'm some sort of hobo because I always wear slides and gym shorts and t shirt wherever I go, so I like to sort of stick it to them by looking better than their denim pants, denim shirt and bolo tie combo. (It's not that this isn't church appropriate, it's that it's not sane adult in a functioning society appropriate.)

 

But for me, as long as they are there and are receiving and taking in the message, that's pretty much all you need to worry about.

Where was that... In Kentucky somewhere?

 

From what I understand about this R n' R church in Southern Illinois is that they make people like drug addicts and others who might feel uncomfortable, shunned, or judged elsewhere feel welcome and accepted.

 

Other than that I can't say that I know anything about them. Perhaps this one in S.I. serves a purpose with good intentions unlike the one that you experienced.

Yes, it's in the Louisville area.

 

And I don't doubt it. My brother was addicted to heroine and was taken in by a church specifically for drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes etc. It saved his life and soul, for real.

It saved his life and soul, for real.

This is a great church, accomplishing what we should all want for everyone.

So when the new guy says "Sir, why does it matter? Is there something in the Bible that tells one how to dress for worship?" what would you say to make him realize it's not just YOUR opinion? And is it enough of an issue to risk having him not come back?

 

I would not say this to a new guy. In addressing attire, my assumption is this is a new person who was welcomed, liked it, is being ministered to, and stayed. He is also someone I have developed a relationship with and is part of a small group I am in or I am meeting with for the purpose of mutual support and growth in discipleship. What I would say is along the lines of what I have already posted. From what I say to him he would know it is not my opinion that matters but he is to seek the the Lord's opinion. Like this...

 

If this is someone who is in the church for awhile, I have a conversation with them about how they need to also think of others so as not to be a distraction. I still don't impose a dress code on them, but I try to get them to consider the purpose of worship, Who it's for, and have them consider it as an issue of following the Lord. To appropriately do that, they will have to consider His perspective.

 

To me it is not a distraction, but you don't know how old people think. I would talk to them about the short-wearing guy's perspective and to him about their perspective. In a family, we consider one another when we do things.

 

"His perspective" is getting the guy to consider what God's perspective may be. I don't tell him what I think. I ask him to consider what worship is. Does the Lord care what he wears? I think this is an issue of discipleship. I want his decision to be principled, not to do it because, "I'll do what i want and I don't care what others may think."

 

You wear a hat IN church?

 

Are you joking about this? You're worried about somebody wearing a hat? We all have our line that if it is crossed we feel it is inappropriate, don't we? That line may be different for different people, but it exists. I was suggesting some principles to follow when that line is crossed and how to approach it in as generous a way as possible. If you have already developed a relationship with the person, it is not likely that they will be offended and leave. That's why I don't think it wise to address it with a "new" person.

 

Again, I don't really care how someone is dressed when they come to church. I am genuinely glad they are there.

As long as they're there, who cares what they wear. If you have an issue with another's attire, that's a you problem, not a them problem.

As a kid attending Catholic church on Sunday mornings my Dad would always be in a suit and my Mother in a dress. Most of the more senior members of the congregation pretty much the same.

 

My siblings and I, and most of the other kids or younger adults were mostly in our Sunday's best, but a suit was not always expected, and we knew that we should at least make attempts to look clean cut, freshly bathed, hair combed, and not in our street clothes.

 

At times you might see a few of the more wealthier woman in attendance dawning a fur coat accented with fine jewels.

 

That was all well and good, and I saw it as a fair requirement, however when exiting a Mass where members might congregate afterwards in front of the church for a short time for hugs, handshakes and gladsome hellos, there was a small protestant church not nearly as grand as our church in structure directly across the street in a converted residential property, that although we couldn't view their worship from the outside, we could hear pretty clearly the preaching, singing, or rousing member participation, and what many described as "Holy Rollers", and was distinctly different than our more regal reverent ritualistic version of worship where our congregation was expected to be quiet until participating in refrains or singing of hymns.

 

Typically as a reaction to the "Holy Rollers", you'd see members of our church roll their eyes or giggle, and comment that "They're really holy rollin' across the street, aren't they...Ha Ha Ha?" all the while insinuating that we were so much more higher and mightier than they were, and that they were merely low class pedestrian types worthy of our mockery.

 

Even as a small child I felt this action to be terribly disrespectful, and it left a bad taste in my mouth as to what message was being conveyed, as if God too would think that the "Holy Roller" types were missing the mark, and were wrongly worshipping, and worthy of our laughter and disparaging comments.

 

If felt so completely hypocritical of us, all the while being lead to believe that we were members of the real true church that ensured our afterlife in heaven while everyone else no matter how dedicated to Christ could only expect at best an eternity in Purgatory.

 

I think that it was then that my mind began to stir with regard to following the human lead and so called wisdom of what exactly was the truth, and what was make believe.

 

It began for me many years of dissecting, wondering how or if any humans truly knew anything with any certainty that was worthy of my complete devout faith and following. I had many unanswerable questions that spawned many more unanswerable questions. At the least, if I were to believe that there was a God and a Christ, surely these people around me were not truly representing his loving message.

 

To this day, although I can't say that I know anything with any certainty, I'm not at all adverse to respecting and taking to heart that message of love, and while many people of faith appear to demonstrate it well with how they conduct themselves, many others who appear to be pushing in line at the pearly gates considering themselves entitled to be there, seem to be losing me with their mixed messages.

Our Church is pretty relaxed, we have teens in shorts sometimes, Adults in jeans, khakis, dress pants and suits. We have some kids that we pick up on the church bus that come in various types of outfits...bottom line all are welcome. We had a youth leader that wore khaki shorts a t-shirt and sported a Mohawk for a while just to make the kids comfortable wearing what they had and not worrying about not having "Church clothes"

 

Man, when it comes to dressing, I am about as relaxed as they come. I served Communion Sunday in shots, tennis shoes with no sox, button up short sleeve yellow "summer" shirt. Of the 8 of us, one of the other guys had on shorts as well. Now that I think of it two others did, one wearing a Louisville Cardinals tee shirt and flip flops.

 

if I am speaking in front of the church, I will wear kakis and a polo shirt or something. But usually in the warm months it's shorts and a light shirt, sometimes a tee shirt.

 

Now, with that said, I have seen some attire that I think was very unsuitable for church. A few years ago saw a couple of young ladies, probably high school aged come in looking like they just got out of the tanning booth at a church I was visiting. I mean, stuff you wouldn't want your daughter wearing in general public, much less church. Out side of that though, I'm pretty liberal about church dress.

I can't believe the legs this thread has. Who would have thunk that such an issue as how to dress in church would get so much attention? Granted it isn't stirring as much passion as some of the other threads, but it sounds like everyone has an opinion and most of us are pretty generous with the expectations we have.

 

Clyde, I am curious as to your reason for bringing this up. Does it have to do with your personal experience?

I thought churches were a "no-judgment" zone?!