I'm an old coach who is up way past my bedtime. I was in the coaching business for over 30 years. I've been reading a lot of the comments on this site, but I've never felt like I needed to say anything until now, especially since no one seems to understand how or why we coaches rank players.

 

First of all, ALL coaches can tell after the first four or five practices where their majority of their players rank. I would always meet with my staff after the first week of practice, and we would rank all of our players at that time. We'd talk it over if we had a huge disparity and make sure we weren't missing something. We would then ask the players to rate themselves. We wanted the see if the kids were realistic BEFORE we got too far along. If a team or a business is to be successful, everyone needs to know their role and where they stand. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy. I never lied, mislead, or deceived a kid. No coach should.

 

Sometimes a certain player would rate herself way too high, when as coaches we rated her at the other end. There is NO WAY we were going into a season with a player thinking she was one of the best when she clearly wasn't. So, we'd talk to her and explain what we saw. We'd talk with everyone individually and explain what we viewed as a player's strengths and weaknesses, explaining how as coaches we would do everything we could to help her improve. If that's wrong to do, then parents are living in a fantasy land. Life is all about improving your weaknesses, but some people never figure out what their weaknesses are and go through their entire lives struggling. Your coach is doing you a HUGE favor. Your daughter has the entire season to work on her weaknesses and improve her talent. That's a good thing, Mom.

 

Oh, yeah...one more thing. The only parents who were ever upset or complained seemed to be those who had daughters who grossly over-exaggerated their talent level and then heard the TRUTH from the coaching staff. If your daughter doesn't agree with her evaluation, tell her to do something about it. Prove the coaches wrong by playing harder than anyone. Come early and stay late. If it really is that important to her, have her make a list of EVERYTHING she's going to do to prove herself and then show the list to the coaches. What exactly is your daughter doing to get better? She's SCARED to talk to the coach? Sorry...not an acceptable excuse.

 

Did I mention that I retired after a very successful career because too many parents seem to take pleasure in stirring up trouble instead of encouraging their athletes to come face to face and talk to the coach, you know, like they are going to have to do in the real world if they ever have a problem, get a bad evaluation on a job, or have a run-in with the boss or a co-worker? Sports offers so many opportunities to learn real life lessons...this is one of those times.

 

It's NEVER wrong for coaches to be honest with kids so that kids, coaches, AND parents know EXACTLY where they stand. Perhaps the coach should have cut your daughter and not even given her a chance to develop the talent you claim she has. No, I don't think you would have wanted that.

 

I'm done. It's time for my milk of magnesia.

are you going to flirt?

Well I will find you then!!

You can rank players by position or strengths perhpas but not just as team mates from top to bottom. That's my issue. I need some ice cream and pickles me thinks.

I'm an old coach who is up way past my bedtime. I was in the coaching business for over 30 years. I've been reading a lot of the comments on this site, but I've never felt like I needed to say anything until now, especially since no one seems to understand how or why we coaches rank players.

 

First of all, ALL coaches can tell after the first four or five practices where their majority of their players rank. I would always meet with my staff after the first week of practice, and we would rank all of our players at that time. We'd talk it over if we had a huge disparity and make sure we weren't missing something. We would then ask the players to rate themselves. We wanted the see if the kids were realistic BEFORE we got too far along. If a team or a business is to be successful, everyone needs to know their role and where they stand. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy. I never lied, mislead, or deceived a kid. No coach should.

 

Sometimes a certain player would rate herself way too high, when as coaches we rated her at the other end. There is NO WAY we were going into a season with a player thinking she was one of the best when she clearly wasn't. So, we'd talk to her and explain what we saw. We'd talk with everyone individually and explain what we viewed as a player's strengths and weaknesses, explaining how as coaches we would do everything we could to help her improve. If that's wrong to do, then parents are living in a fantasy land. Life is all about improving your weaknesses, but some people never figure out what their weaknesses are and go through their entire lives struggling. Your coach is doing you a HUGE favor. Your daughter has the entire season to work on her weaknesses and improve her talent. That's a good thing, Mom.

 

Oh, yeah...one more thing. The only parents who were ever upset or complained seemed to be those who had daughters who grossly over-exaggerated their talent level and then heard the TRUTH from the coaching staff. If your daughter doesn't agree with her evaluation, tell her to do something about it. Prove the coaches wrong by playing harder than anyone. Come early and stay late. If it really is that important to her, have her make a list of EVERYTHING she's going to do to prove herself and then show the list to the coaches. What exactly is your daughter doing to get better? She's SCARED to talk to the coach? Sorry...not an acceptable excuse.

 

Did I mention that I retired after a very successful career because too many parents seem to take pleasure in stirring up trouble instead of encouraging their athletes to come face to face and talk to the coach, you know, like they are going to have to do in the real world if they ever have a problem, get a bad evaluation on a job, or have a run-in with the boss or a co-worker? Sports offers so many opportunities to learn real life lessons...this is one of those times.

 

It's NEVER wrong for coaches to be honest with kids so that kids, coaches, AND parents know EXACTLY where they stand. Perhaps the coach should have cut your daughter and not even given her a chance to develop the talent you claim she has. No, I don't think you would have wanted that.

 

I'm done. It's time for my milk of magnesia.

are you going to flirt?

 

Didn't say that, you may have some numbering system and I don't want to get numbered to low!!

Sweet sane safe and concentual dude it seems:bunny:

Well say RetiredCoach - many good coaches get out or get run out by parents who think their little Johnny or Jenna will be the next starting point guard, pitcher, setter, etc. at UK. Some parents take a positive coaching situation and life learning/lesson opportunity to teach the girls about life and more than sports, and turn inside out and blame the coach. It amazes me at the number of parents today that always blame the teacher and/or coach first, even if they know their kid is in the wrong. My dad was my biggest defender but he never crossed the line with the coaches and he would have knocked me through a wall if I showed the disrespect and attitude that some of these players display towards their coaches and teachers.

 

I'm an old coach who is up way past my bedtime. I was in the coaching business for over 30 years. I've been reading a lot of the comments on this site, but I've never felt like I needed to say anything until now, especially since no one seems to understand how or why we coaches rank players.

 

First of all, ALL coaches can tell after the first four or five practices where their majority of their players rank. I would always meet with my staff after the first week of practice, and we would rank all of our players at that time. We'd talk it over if we had a huge disparity and make sure we weren't missing something. We would then ask the players to rate themselves. We wanted the see if the kids were realistic BEFORE we got too far along. If a team or a business is to be successful, everyone needs to know their role and where they stand. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy. I never lied, mislead, or deceived a kid. No coach should.

 

Sometimes a certain player would rate herself way too high, when as coaches we rated her at the other end. There is NO WAY we were going into a season with a player thinking she was one of the best when she clearly wasn't. So, we'd talk to her and explain what we saw. We'd talk with everyone individually and explain what we viewed as a player's strengths and weaknesses, explaining how as coaches we would do everything we could to help her improve. If that's wrong to do, then parents are living in a fantasy land. Life is all about improving your weaknesses, but some people never figure out what their weaknesses are and go through their entire lives struggling. Your coach is doing you a HUGE favor. Your daughter has the entire season to work on her weaknesses and improve her talent. That's a good thing, Mom.

 

Oh, yeah...one more thing. The only parents who were ever upset or complained seemed to be those who had daughters who grossly over-exaggerated their talent level and then heard the TRUTH from the coaching staff. If your daughter doesn't agree with her evaluation, tell her to do something about it. Prove the coaches wrong by playing harder than anyone. Come early and stay late. If it really is that important to her, have her make a list of EVERYTHING she's going to do to prove herself and then show the list to the coaches. What exactly is your daughter doing to get better? She's SCARED to talk to the coach? Sorry...not an acceptable excuse.

 

Did I mention that I retired after a very successful career because too many parents seem to take pleasure in stirring up trouble instead of encouraging their athletes to come face to face and talk to the coach, you know, like they are going to have to do in the real world if they ever have a problem, get a bad evaluation on a job, or have a run-in with the boss or a co-worker? Sports offers so many opportunities to learn real life lessons...this is one of those times.

 

It's NEVER wrong for coaches to be honest with kids so that kids, coaches, AND parents know EXACTLY where they stand. Perhaps the coach should have cut your daughter and not even given her a chance to develop the talent you claim she has. No, I don't think you would have wanted that.

 

I'm done. It's time for my milk of magnesia.

I've had my bran flakes and morning walk, and I took a extra long one because after reading your last comment, Camel Bump, I was painfully recalling some coaching moments when I tried to talk RATIONALLY to parents over a similar situation many years go. You sound like a very caring person, but I wasn't sure I read your last post correctly. So, after my short nap, which I needed after my extra long walk, I read it again. And then again. Help me out here, Mom. Did you say that coaches should rank players by position or strengths, but should not rank players versus TEAMMATES? That's exactly how we do it, Mom. How ELSE do you think we rank players if not by strengths? And if we don't rank them in comparison with their teammates, who should we compare them to? Always be honest. Let kids know where they stand. Don't lie, mislead, or deceive.

 

Come on, Mom. It's pretty obvious what happened. Your daughter must have thought she was a lot better than her her coaches did, so after hearing the truth, she came home crying and then told all of her friends. You were furious because your daughter was hurting and you didn't know how to help, so while she vented to her friends and listened to them tell her how she got a raw deal, you did the same thing on this site. This old coach has seen this happen countless times. I know you love your daughter. And I know you're upset. But based on YOUR reaction to all of this, I'll bet your daughter is NOT going early to practice, staying late, and doing EVERYTHING in her power to prove the coaches wrong, is she? Didn't think so.

 

Help her learn from this, Mom. It's not going to be easy, but you can do more for your daughter now than you could have if she were ranked as the number one player on the team. Guide her. What YOU decide to do from this point on will impact her for years to come.

Noooo your not understanding dude. I appreciate your concerns but she told the kids they were ranked top to bottom. 1,2,3,4, It was like MVP voting. 1 was the best player, 2 was the second best player. My daughter wasn't all that low but it wasn't by position or arm strength etc. How would you feel if you were Number 24 or even worse didn't get a number at all? So, when you coached, you would tell your star player they were the best player and your worst player they were the worst in pre-season?

I've had my bran flakes and morning walk, and I took a extra long one because after reading your last comment, Camel Bump, I was painfully recalling some coaching moments when I tried to talk RATIONALLY to parents over a similar situation many years go. You sound like a very caring person, but I wasn't sure I read your last post correctly. So, after my short nap, which I needed after my extra long walk, I read it again. And then again. Help me out here, Mom. Did you say that coaches should rank players by position or strengths, but should not rank players versus TEAMMATES? That's exactly how we do it, Mom. How ELSE do you think we rank players if not by strengths? And if we don't rank them in comparison with their teammates, who should we compare them to? Always be honest. Let kids know where they stand. Don't lie, mislead, or deceive.

 

Come on, Mom. It's pretty obvious what happened. Your daughter must have thought she was a lot better than her her coaches did, so after hearing the truth, she came home crying and then told all of her friends. You were furious because your daughter was hurting and you didn't know how to help, so while she vented to her friends and listened to them tell her how she got a raw deal, you did the same thing on this site. This old coach has seen this happen countless times. I know you love your daughter. And I know you're upset. But based on YOUR reaction to all of this, I'll bet your daughter is NOT going early to practice, staying late, and doing EVERYTHING in her power to prove the coaches wrong, is she? Didn't think so.

 

Help her learn from this, Mom. It's not going to be easy, but you can do more for your daughter now than you could have if she were ranked as the number one player on the team. Guide her. What YOU decide to do from this point on will impact her for years to come.

Noooo your not understanding dude. I appreciate your concerns but she told the kids they were ranked top to bottom. 1,2,3,4, It was like MVP voting. 1 was the best player, 2 was the second best player. My daughter wasn't all that low but it wasn't by position or arm strength etc. How would you feel if you were Number 24 or even worse didn't get a number at all? So, when you coached, you would tell your star player they were the best player and your worst player they were the worst in pre-season?

 

You crack me up, your story has changed about 3 times already. First she was not ranked, then she was ranked very low and now you say she wasn't ranked all that low. Mercy, it seems like someone can't get their facts straight.

Interesting. Never been called "dude" before. Please listen carefully, even though I'm not sure your anger and disappointment over your daughter's ranking will allow it. I ALWAYS RANKED MY PLAYERS AND GAVE THEM A NUMBER, WITH ONE BEING THE TOP PLAYER. So, the answer is yes, I would tell all of them exactly where they ranked and where stood. Why should I lie, mislead, or deceive?

 

Regarding your other question, dudette (is that what you call a female dude? I don't want to be disrespectful), if I were ranked last, I'd look the coach right in the eye and say, "Thank you for keeping me on the team and giving me a chance, Coach. You won't regret it."

 

And yes, I remember that I did forget a couple of times to rank a player. I spoke to her and explained that I'm human and that I just screwed up, most likely because she missed a day of two of practice or she was still in another sport when we did our rankings. I was honest. I didn't lie, mislead, or deceive.

 

Why do you keep saying "MVP"? In the coaches' eyes, we ranked the best player #1, the second is #2, and so on. No one knew who was ranked where unless the players told one another. Why is this so hard for you to understand? And, if you don't mind me asking, if your daughter wasn't ranked that (low, or high, or close to MVP, or whatever you want to call it) what's the big deal? The coaches were honest. They didn't lie, mislead, or deceive. Seems like there's more to this than you want us all of us to know. This is wearing me out...time for another nap. Tired of trying to rationalize with what appears to be irrational thinking.

Interesting. Never been called "dude" before. Please listen carefully, even though I'm not sure your anger and disappointment over your daughter's ranking will allow it. I ALWAYS RANKED MY PLAYERS AND GAVE THEM A NUMBER, WITH ONE BEING THE TOP PLAYER. So, the answer is yes, I would tell all of them exactly where they ranked and where stood. Why should I lie, mislead, or deceive?

 

Regarding your other question, dudette (is that what you call a female dude? I don't want to be disrespectful), if I were ranked last, I'd look the coach right in the eye and say, "Thank you for keeping me on the team and giving me a chance, Coach. You won't regret it."

 

And yes, I remember that I did forget a couple of times to rank a player. I spoke to her and explained that I'm human and that I just screwed up, most likely because she missed a day of two of practice or she was still in another sport when we did our rankings. I was honest. I didn't lie, mislead, or deceive.

 

Why do you keep saying "MVP"? In the coaches' eyes, we ranked the best player #1, the second is #2, and so on. No one knew who was ranked where unless the players told one another. Why is this so hard for you to understand? And, if you don't mind me asking, if your daughter wasn't ranked that (low, or high, or close to MVP, or whatever you want to call it) what's the big deal? The coaches were honest. They didn't lie, mislead, or deceive. Seems like there's more to this than you want us all of us to know. This is wearing me out...time for another nap. Tired of trying to rationalize with what appears to be irrational thinking.

 

I don't have a problem ranking the kids IF you give constructive criticism on why they are ranked low and tell them how they can improve. Did you do this? Here is my thing regarding the ranking and it is just my opinion, if you let the kids know where they stand, my fear would be the top tier kids would just get by because they know where they stand. Meaning where is the competition in it? I am not saying it exactly how I want too but I just would not want the kids to get complacent.

OK I think 1 is 5, 2 is 6, 6 is 3, 4 is 12, and 7 is 4 for sure.

How did your daughter play today?

I agree. :thumb: Very well said.

 

I'm an old coach who is up way past my bedtime. I was in the coaching business for over 30 years. I've been reading a lot of the comments on this site, but I've never felt like I needed to say anything until now, especially since no one seems to understand how or why we coaches rank players.

 

First of all, ALL coaches can tell after the first four or five practices where their majority of their players rank. I would always meet with my staff after the first week of practice, and we would rank all of our players at that time. We'd talk it over if we had a huge disparity and make sure we weren't missing something. We would then ask the players to rate themselves. We wanted the see if the kids were realistic BEFORE we got too far along. If a team or a business is to be successful, everyone needs to know their role and where they stand. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy. I never lied, mislead, or deceived a kid. No coach should.

 

Sometimes a certain player would rate herself way too high, when as coaches we rated her at the other end. There is NO WAY we were going into a season with a player thinking she was one of the best when she clearly wasn't. So, we'd talk to her and explain what we saw. We'd talk with everyone individually and explain what we viewed as a player's strengths and weaknesses, explaining how as coaches we would do everything we could to help her improve. If that's wrong to do, then parents are living in a fantasy land. Life is all about improving your weaknesses, but some people never figure out what their weaknesses are and go through their entire lives struggling. Your coach is doing you a HUGE favor. Your daughter has the entire season to work on her weaknesses and improve her talent. That's a good thing, Mom.

 

Oh, yeah...one more thing. The only parents who were ever upset or complained seemed to be those who had daughters who grossly over-exaggerated their talent level and then heard the TRUTH from the coaching staff. If your daughter doesn't agree with her evaluation, tell her to do something about it. Prove the coaches wrong by playing harder than anyone. Come early and stay late. If it really is that important to her, have her make a list of EVERYTHING she's going to do to prove herself and then show the list to the coaches. What exactly is your daughter doing to get better? She's SCARED to talk to the coach? Sorry...not an acceptable excuse.

 

Did I mention that I retired after a very successful career because too many parents seem to take pleasure in stirring up trouble instead of encouraging their athletes to come face to face and talk to the coach, you know, like they are going to have to do in the real world if they ever have a problem, get a bad evaluation on a job, or have a run-in with the boss or a co-worker? Sports offers so many opportunities to learn real life lessons...this is one of those times.

 

It's NEVER wrong for coaches to be honest with kids so that kids, coaches, AND parents know EXACTLY where they stand. Perhaps the coach should have cut your daughter and not even given her a chance to develop the talent you claim she has. No, I don't think you would have wanted that.

 

I'm done. It's time for my milk of magnesia.

:isurrender: Geez this is out of hand. We will look forward to seeing your kid play bumpster:D