Ezra 10 certainly brings some food to this discussion. Take time to read it. As the exiles returned Ezra tells those that are married to foreign wives that they must "put them away" (divorce them). The whole chapter deals with this and lists those who obeyed (and even one that disagreed).

 

Since Ezra is a priest for God, is he speaking the command of God here? If so, is he saying that God is issuing a divorce for these?

 

Chillingly, the chapter ends with a note that some of these wives had children who were also "put away or divorced."

 

 

I've loved the dialogue on this thread and hope it continues.

2 Corinthians 6:14

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

 

Matthew 7:14

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

 

I believe scripture is pertinent to all situations, but all scripture is pertinent. If marriages fail for reasons besides marital infidelity, it is probably because they were not equally yoked. Therefore they did not have a proper covenant with God. I don't think God ever honored the marriage, so the divorce is not relevant.

Of course I am not God, and this is just my interpretation of his word. I try to stay on the narrow way. When we verse off we have to deal with the consequences. Those consequences may be living the rest of lives without marriage.

 

The II Corinthians passage is interesting. Notice it does not say, or in the context of the entire passage even imply, that we are not to be yoked at all with unbelievers, just that we are not to be "unequally" yoked. And, thank God for that, otherwise, my wife never would have pulled me from the grasp of heathens.

 

The trap I, and others I am sure, fall into is confusing sinful and/or illicit behavior with "unbelieving." There is a big difference between a person who knows Christ but is suffering and turned from Him, and a person who has never known Christ and does not even seek Him. Which does the II Corinthians passage cover? I think too often we view sin as the equivalent of unbelief, which it is not. And, thus, the divorce rate is just as high (possibly higher) with marriages within the church as those outside of it.

Ezra 10 certainly brings some food to this discussion. Take time to read it. As the exiles returned Ezra tells those that are married to foreign wives that they must "put them away" (divorce them). The whole chapter deals with this and lists those who obeyed (and even one that disagreed).

 

Since Ezra is a priest for God, is he speaking the command of God here? If so, is he saying that God is issuing a divorce for these?

 

Chillingly, the chapter ends with a note that some of these wives had children who were also "put away or divorced."

 

 

I've loved the dialogue on this thread and hope it continues.

 

Good old Ezra. For the sake of divine will and national purity, he purges the Israelites of intermarriage. Deuteronomy 7 also has proscription against this. I guess the only way we can marry heathen women is if we take them captive in war (Deut. 21: 10-14).

 

I think the explanation here is explained through the New Covenant, that the old marriage laws of Torah against intermarriage were cleansed by Christ's New Covenant, which was equal to Jew and Gentile (See I Cor. 7:14). But the example is wonderful.

 

6. The man is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. The one first called to stand up in times of crisis and weakness is the man.

 

 

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Let me add that we are told to love our wife like Christ loved the Church.

Jesus was crucified for the church. He took a horrible beating where his hair in his beard was plucked from his face. He was whipped and flogged and beaten where most men would have died. AND THEN he was crucified. He hung on the cross struggling to breath because of His LOVE for us.

 

And we are called upon to love our wives like that.

 

When a husband is looking to divorce his wife, I would ask them to think, have you sacrificed for her like Christ did the Church when He was crucified.

 

I have not came close to it.

I would also note that, having taken some information on this, after 12 years of divorce practice, the number one reason that couples divorce is not sexual infidelity, financial crisis, or even lack of communication (though all three are symptoms of the underlying problem), but choosing other relationships (usually the children) in place of the spouse.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Let me type that again, slowly, so that it sinks in.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Perhaps that is another thread.

 

There is a Christian parenting program I taught at church and the first chapter was summed up with this line........

 

You will NEVER EVER be a better parent than you are a spouse to your child's mother or father.

 

Meaning, as you said, the best thing you can do for your child is to be a great spouse and have your child raised with a mother and a father.

I would also note that, having taken some information on this, after 12 years of divorce practice, the number one reason that couples divorce is not sexual infidelity, financial crisis, or even lack of communication (though all three are symptoms of the underlying problem), but choosing other relationships (usually the children) in place of the spouse.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Let me type that again, slowly, so that it sinks in.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Perhaps that is another thread.

 

You know...I'd never really thought of that being a problem. But, now that you've brought it to my attention, it's certainly something that happens too frequently.

 

Thanks for giving me a topic to ponder...

I have debated this on here several times but it has been a while so let me throw another wrench in the works.

 

What is marriage to God? Is God limited to defining a marriage when a preacher or justice of the peace or the Elvis impersonator in Vegas says they are now legally married?

 

Are you telling me that God is limited on seeing something as a marriage until an Elvis personator says that it is a marriage?

 

If a couple gets married and God is not part of the ceremony, their life or their marriage, does God even recognize it as a marriage?

 

Maybe in God's eyes a marriage is much different than what we see as a marriage.

I am beginning to wonder if that first act of sexual intercourse does not tie us to that person more in God's eyes than we realize.

 

And for the record, that is the view (God's eyes) that I care about more than anyone or anything else's.

 

I am feeling you on this one LBBC

2 Corinthians 6:14

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

 

Matthew 7:14

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

 

I believe scripture is pertinent to all situations, but all scripture is pertinent. If marriages fail for reasons besides marital infidelity, it is probably because they were not equally yoked. Therefore they did not have a proper covenant with God. I don't think God ever honored the marriage, so the divorce is not relevant.

Of course I am not God, and this is just my interpretation of his word. I try to stay on the narrow way. When we verse off we have to deal with the consequences. Those consequences may be living the rest of lives without marriage.

 

 

 

 

I like this thought. As far as a marriage goes, if both partners work together to obey God's will, more than likely there will be no problems leading to a divorce. A family that pray's together stays together. If you have been divorced and decide to become a Christian, you will have all your past sins remmitted (as I believe through baptism). We are human and will make mistakes, but when it comes to the marriage relationship as Christians that is not a mistake we can afford to make. It is something we must truely work at till death. But that's my opinion.

I'm going to be very careful here, but I want to try and lend thoughts since you asked me:

 

1. The man married the woman knowing she was a former drug addict. I would have a hard time labeling him as "innocent" if the problems caused by drugs were the reason for subsequently wanting out. Mind you, I'm not saying that the man is "bad," just not "innocent."

 

2. Reading between the lines, I would say that the real reason for the man's departure was the wife "seeing another man," not the wife's return to drugs.

 

3. What was the reason that the woman returned to drugs? Was it pure addiction or was the wife being ignored and left alone and depressed about the relationship she turned back to drugs? The answers to those questions may very well have a bearing as to whether all of this was "beyond [his] control."

 

4. Did the man, a Christian, make any effort whatsoever to help the woman turn her eyes to Christ, or did the man, upset by the affair, write the marriage off because the alternative was too hard?

 

5. Perhaps you will agree that the statement "I can't see Jesus punishing someone" is somewhat superficial, and reflective, IMO, of the lack of depth that we as humans assign to Christ sometimes. In your scenario, the man sees this situation about how it affects HIM and not 1) how it affects the wife 2) what responsibility he has to his wife and 3) what Jesus thinks about his responsibility to his wife.

 

6. The man is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. The one first called to stand up in times of crisis and weakness is the man.

 

7. I am probably not given all of the facts here, but the question as I view it is what would Jesus have said to the husband about his efforts to maintain covenant with his wife?

 

8. If an effort had been made to attempt to maintain the marital covenant, despite the problems, and that effort had continued to be rejected by the wife, then I believe that at some point, the man, impeded in his relationship with Christ, could brush the sand from his feet, and grant the wife a divorce. In that instance, I do not believe his subsequent remarriage could be categorized as adultery because his grounds for divorce were both sexual adultery and abandonment by his former spouse.

 

I do not believe that Christ asks us to "pick" one type of person over another. I believe that Christ seeks marital covenants designed to 1) make a "gift" of one spouse to the other and vice versa that brings each other peace and joy; and 2) provide an environment in which to raise children up to know God.

 

These are my thoughts. Perhaps they are not exactly what you had in mind or wanted to hear, but they are my thoughts.

 

No, I agree with a lot of what you said. It's actually my thoughts to for the most part.

I would also note that, having taken some information on this, after 12 years of divorce practice, the number one reason that couples divorce is not sexual infidelity, financial crisis, or even lack of communication (though all three are symptoms of the underlying problem), but choosing other relationships (usually the children) in place of the spouse.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Let me type that again, slowly, so that it sinks in.

 

Your relationship with your children is NOT more important than your relationship with your spouse.

 

Perhaps that is another thread.

 

That same woman I was talking about earlier, chose a relationship with "World of Warcraft" over her spouse, which is where she met the man she cheated on him with. Don't life just have a way of grabbing you where it hurts.

Lets go back to Corinthians. I'll summarize it but feel free to read 1st 7:10:17

 

Paul says to the married woman stay that way, but if you separate do not remarry, and to the husband do not divorce your wife. Your wife runs away what do? Do I live alone for maybe 70 years?

 

Paul states....if a believer has a nonbeliever as a spouse stay with them they might become a believer.

 

But if the unbeliever leaves, let them do so. God wants us to live in Peace.

 

This is a really good read.

Well, here is a real wrench in the works.

 

http://content.usatoday.net/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=cincinnati&sParam=34051126.story

 

Couple who led gay marriage fight to divorce

 

BOSTON (AP) — A lesbian couple who led the fight for gay marriage in the state of Massachusetts is filing for divorce.

Julie and Hillary Goodridge were among seven gay couples whose lawsuit thrust Massachusetts into the center of a nationwide debate on gay marriage. The couple became the public face of the debate in the state, the first in the U.S. to legalize same-sex marriage.

 

The couple was married on May 17, 2004, the first day same-sex marriages became legal under a court ruling. The couple announced they were separating in 2006.

 

Only Connecticut also allows same-sex marriage, though a handful of other states allow other kinds of partnerships.

Lets go back to Corinthians. I'll summarize it but feel free to read 1st 7:10:17

 

Paul says to the married woman stay that way, but if you separate do not remarry, and to the husband do not divorce your wife. Your wife runs away what do? Do I live alone for maybe 70 years?

 

Paul states....if a believer has a nonbeliever as a spouse stay with them they might become a believer.

 

But if the unbeliever leaves, let them do so. God wants us to live in Peace.

 

This is a really good read.

How does the bolded compare to what Jesus did on the cross for you?

That same woman I was talking about earlier, chose a relationship with "World of Warcraft" over her spouse, which is where she met the man she cheated on him with. Don't life just have a way of grabbing you where it hurts.

 

The internet and addiction to it have been at the root of at least 3 or 4 divorces I have handled in the past few years. Internet porn has been responsible for a couple, too.

Jesus is my Savior, not my wife. The relationships cannot be compared.

 

God commanded man to leave his Mother/Father, and for women to do the same. They are to become one, when my ONE left for another man by Jesus words I was allowed to remarry a single woman or a woman who has been Divorced by the Matthew 19:9 account. Woman is the Man's helpmate, man isn't meant to be alone.