Oh and by the way.... There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard - just another fist.

 

I love this one !!!!!!!:dancingpa:dancingpa:thumb:

Mike Huckabee's plan on securing the border? Two words. Chuck Norris.

One his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris was denied a Egg McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

 

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

When you open a can of whoop butt, Chuck Norris jumps out.

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

 

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

 

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

 

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot @$# kicking in real-time.

 

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

 

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

 

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

 

Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

 

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands

 

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

 

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

 

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

 

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

 

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

 

This one is my favorite :lol:

This one is my favorite :lol:

 

You quoted yourself? Are you going to start talking in the 4th person now? :lol:

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

 

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

 

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.