Forgive me: No pun intended?

 

I really should have used different phrasing in that post.

Coach K for real??? Although it's not always 100% accurate, my Gaydar never picked that up.

 

Well....he has a purty mouth

Well....he has a purty mouth

 

Come to think of it, he does have a sort of stereotypical persnickety mouth on him that looks like it's full of lemon juice, and as if his panties are always in a bunch, and on the brink of a hissy fit.

I never understand why gay people feel the need to "come out."

I'm still waiting for Coach K to come out of the closet

 

He can't come out, his nose is to big and gets stuck every time.

What kind of closet do gays come out of if they go back to not being gay. Do they go in the closet.

I never understand why gay people feel the need to "come out."

 

Simply to lift the suffocating weight off of one's shoulders that makes them feel that they have to keep their true feelings locked away for fear of criticism, mockery, ostracism, disapproval, persecution, awkwardness, hatred, physical harm, and whole array of uncomfortable feelings with descriptive names that I might be forgetting right now.

 

When one can open up to understanding friends and family, one can feel confident to move forward with their life to be who they really are, and love who they really love, which only helps the individual to live a balanced unencumbered life. Introduce perhaps their partner to the others who are important to them in their lives and hope for a reception that doesn't make them feel like a social freak, when they know deep inside that they're not much different than any human being, gay or straight, that has desires and requires to love, and to be loved.

 

Sometimes before someone knows that someone else is gay, they might not instantly assume that this person is odd, so once with knowledge of their sexual orientation, there should be little reason to change view of a person or consider them gravely different unless perhaps, at the risk of sounding judgmental, they're sexual orientation is gravely bringing themselves, or someone else harm, which is not the case under most civilized circumstances. Uncivilized circumstances can happen with both straights and gays, for certain.

 

Straight people without question, have always had no second thoughts about about expressing their lives, and the loved ones in it. The freedom of that is endless, and taken for granted, which I take no objection to, but mentioning it merely to display how common it is. We join together to celebrate it, and make it a normal probing question that hardly anyone objects to unless it includes infidelity, in which folks tend to be secretive. Invitations are often mailed out to attend ceremonies to kick off a man and woman's life of living in love together to, sharing a home, bed, meals, children, bank accounts, debts, benefits, hardships and successes. We offer these folks a whole array of household items to lesson their financial burdens, such as a 4 slice toaster and a blender. We join together to dance to Rocky Top and/or do the Chicken Dance. Over indulge in food and beverage, mixing champaign and wedding cake to the point that we might get sick if we don't control our intake. All accepted, and rarely questioned unless anyone objects to the union for whatever reason. I've personally never been to a wedding where anyone has come forward.

 

Gays too, would like to get to a place in these modern times where they feel the same breath of fresh air in their freedoms within society without dreading an uncomfortable reaction. The idea is that the more common it is being viewed by the general public, the less it becomes such a big deal. When it ultimately becomes not such a big deal, although folks close to each other might be aware of one's private lives, the news will only eventually make note of famous people, gay or straight, that people find interest in, and not every Joe Schmo that no one originally knew about to begin with.

 

Fast forward some years from now, and this college basketball player, that no one really knew to begin with, would not be offering this personal information to the entire planet. It might be noteworthy now for it's distinction of being the first in college basketball. Not sure he expected it to make news outside of the people he came out to, so he was just freeing himself up to friends, teammates, and family with probably little intention that it would become more widespread than that. In future years that's likely how it will play out anyhow with no one caring or thinking anything of making note of it.

 

Ultimately, even after writing a chapter to explain, it all boils down to personal freedom, personal freedom, and more personal freedom just as any self-respecting or respected person, gay or straight should expect to receive without fretting objection, unless it is truly deserved.

 

Any understanding person knows that gayness does not deserve objection, as it is just a normal part of the human condition as anything else that is generally accepted by society. Now with more evidence that more people in this world are gay beyond most people's estimation, it should be no surprise that most thinking people see no big deal about it and find it to be as common as anything.

 

That advancement in culture, which still has not reached its apex, has been a long time coming, and I can only wish that humanity keeps moving in a direction of understanding and not let the pendulum swing back to the days of the Dark Ages.

 

Hope that explains it and makes sense.

I never understand why gay people feel the need to "come out."

 

I agree. You are what you are. Why the need to let everyone know???

This won't be popular with some people but I have to say it. I don't really understand today's society. Tim Tebow was crucified for expressing his Christian beliefs but people coming out of the closest are today's hero's.

What kind of closet do gays come out of if they go back to not being gay. Do they go in the closet.

 

MR... Pardon me, for I really don't mean to sound sarcastic, but you rarely ever fail to get a "WOW" reaction from me.

 

Aside from gays or bi's that feel as if their urges to be with the same sex came later in their adulthood, as they feel as if they were always straight up until that perplexing altering of their orientation ( and to your credit, it is indeed some people's experience, and cannot be overlooked when being inclusive about what might make one gay), for most gays who were well aware of their same sex attraction, sometimes as far back to before full fledged adolescence, there is no straightness to go back to because there never was a straightness to begin with. Although in my teens I tried to date girls, I've never once in my life felt sexually attracted to them. I'm nowhere near alone in that feeling. Nowhere near alone.

 

I've never known anyone to be gay, and do an about face and end up straight, outside of perhaps some who experimented with their sexuality, which typically displayed itself to be Bi-sexual for a period of their life, and typically not in it's entirety.

 

The real question is for those who were gay, and by forcing the issue, sometimes involved with a church claiming to help gays from being gay, they try real hard to be straight, and do all they can to convince themselves that they are.

 

We hear about their alleged success, but rarely get to see them years down the road when their real sexuality resurfaces and their straight side goes back to the real non-existent state it was in before they did all they could to try to fool themselves and everyone else. Typically this saving of them only proves to be damaging to them in the long run.

 

Where are they though? What closet did they go back into? We never hear that part of the story of the short lived life saving straightness that they supposedly miraculously arrived at.

 

Whenever I see these claims, I feel like if I just could've counseled them, I could have saved them from all the anguish of lying to themselves, for I can easily predict the outcome of what they're going through and know that reality will undoubtedly come back into play somewhere down the road, and usually right around the corner.

 

Not all, but most humans as they age, scientifically start to lose their youthful intense sex drive that they once had in their teens, and early adult life when they're (and more specifically straights) are inclined to procreate. The physical drive is still there with gays, but of course with no chance to procreate by engaging in same-sex relations.

 

In aging people in relationship, and younger folks really, the desire typically, more than anything is to express a sharing of love to prevent loneliness, and show a comfort to one another in ways that can be shown by a physical closeness to bring two humans together who otherwise would only gravely feel their incurable isolation of being human, if they have no option to share love with another.

 

Of course too in some young and old, there's an attraction to be sexually active merely for the pleasure of it. This may mean with one partner, or multiple partners, and I have no place judging that, while I personally believe that monogamy leads to more happiness and contentment than does promiscuity.

 

If there's concern by objectors of gays not being able to procreate, then why is there no objection to aging straights, who too will not be procreating, considering women come to a point where they no longer can in 99.9% of aging woman? Men's sperm can still fertilized sometimes forever, but they'd have to impregnate a younger girl if they wanted to contribute to procreation.

 

Do objectors take issue with a older couple still engaging in a sexual relationship that will not produce a child, and if not, what difference is there in that and a gay couple that do not produce a child?

 

It's all under the same tree of love and sex, is it not?

This won't be popular with some people but I have to say it. I don't really understand today's society. Tim Tebow was crucified for expressing his Christian beliefs but people coming out of the closest are today's hero's.

 

I personally have the utmost respect for Tim Tebow. He seems like a really decent guy. I've always thought that it was completely ridiculous that he would be scorned by anyone for displaying his honor and praise to God when succeeding on the field. Why should that bother anyone? Are we not a free society to express ourselves in ways that are true to ourselves?

 

I'd love it if our society came to a place where no one felt a need to blast it all over the news that they are gay. It continues somehow to keep perpetrating the myth that it's unusual and odd in a way, when it really is not. I do see the desire that gays have in pleading for acceptance, and it's working in some respects through it being more common in our culture for people to feel freer about coming out, but in other respects, it's backfiring since some are sick of hearing about it.

 

On the flip side, how would straights feel if some in society raised an eyebrow to them making them feel like they can't express their love for a person of the opposite sex? "Can it man... I don't want to hear that you're getting married and planing a family". That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? ... and so it also does when a gay can't just be free and real in social settings to express themselves and who they might love. Love makes anyone, gay or straight, happy and a feeling like they want to share the joy in their hearts with the people in their lives. Everyone should be entitled to do so. Shouldn't they? ... and if some think not, try convincing gays why not...???

 

... and please know that just because someone is gay, it does not mean that they do not have spirituality in their lives.

Coach K for real??? Although it's not always 100% accurate, my Gaydar never picked that up.

 

I have both gay and straight friends who claim to have gaydar. I have none, but I find it interesting. How does that work? Am I missing body language, subtle comments? How do you KNOW?

I guess I was blessed with Ho-dar.

I have both gay and straight friends who claim to have gaydar. I have none, but I find it interesting. How does that work? Am I missing body language, subtle comments? How do you KNOW?

 

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that I can give a concrete answer to that because Gaydar isn't exactly scientific, but I'll give it a whirl.

 

For starters, when I was much younger and completely paranoid that anyone would figure me out, I was too self-conscious to actually notice if someone else was gay, and even though I knew that I wasn't exactly stereotypical, and no one that I knew had me figured out, society still had me brainwashed to believe that most gays were obvious and flamboyant.

 

During high school, the ones that I was fairly certain about were indeed the ones that didn't hide it in their mannerisms very well. There were a few others that I thought could've been, but to this day I've had no evidence to confirm my suspicions. There was just a logical thought within me that told me that I can't be the only one, and just as I was protecting myself, so too there would be others doing the same. That's where I think my Gaydar was active even without very much of my own knowledge that there was such a thing. For all I know, some of the ones that I had suspicions about could have too had suspicions about me under the old, "It takes one to know one" mantra.

 

Little did I yet realize that sometimes it's the man down the street with a wife and a house full of kids who likely got married to succumb to social pressure and fear of anyone figuring him out.

 

I personally could never see myself faking straightness with a wife for years, or how on earth I even could, however I've heard accounts from various ones that had to keep a wild imagination highly active to see themselves through acts of closeness with their wives to ultimately produce a child. Honestly, I find that sad for both parties.

 

I'm gonna guess that even though this still happens, that in today's more open culture, less and less gays are feeling the pressure to get married to the opposite sex, and thankfully so.

 

As I became more comfortable with myself, I became more aware that many folks are gay well beyond the ones that are obvious, or wear it on their sleeves, as in those who keep themselves buried deep in the gay culture and dress the part.

 

Sometimes it's just all in the subtle way that one might look at you. I've walked past people while out in public, sometimes even while they're with their wives, and feel eyeballs of interest on me that screams gay. The wife has either learned to ignore it for fear of facing the truth, or she is just downright not picking up on where her hubby's eyes go from time to time. I tend to believe that wives do pick it up more than not, but fear having their lives turned upside down to address it, and try to convince themselves that they really weren't picking up what they knew deep inside they were picking up. Hubby might have a decent job and they have kids. The wife may not even care anymore about getting romantic with hubby, and just as long as she has an unlimited budget for shopping she may just be contented with that. I knew a wealthy millionaire stockbroker who I'm certain that was the exact scenario in his life after his kids had grown. I didn't mean to sound sexist there, but I just know this plays out in some people's lives, gay or straight.

 

I can't say that my personal Gaydar is completely accurate, but I've been amazed at how many times it's been dead on.

 

I once had a married boss who I personally wasn't out to, but was sure he had heard about me through the grapevine. I really couldn't stand him or his cut throat shrewd business practices, but couldn't ignore the vibrations he kept sending me as if he wanted me to lead him to some encounter. I couldn't think of anything more nauseating.

 

There was a man with a whole house full of kids that lived about 4 doors up from my parents. Aside from his own family, he had a reputation as being a lady's man and would brag to other men in the neighborhood at how lucky he was all the time. My personal privacy eventually travelled a bit in the neighborhood where I was very nervous about the meat heads and the way they would treat me. I truly didn't know who knew and who didn't, but my info wasn't the kind that would stay quiet on my street. I'm certain there were huddles who would chuckle at me as I passed them along with the lady's man. Mr. Lady's Man however jumped out of his house every time I passed it to chat me up to a point that it was obvious that he hadn't paid me that much attention in the past. Why now? It was constantly feeling like he was dancing around a certain line that he wanted to cross and seemed to wait for me to cross it. I wasn't about to. His tone with me would change dramatically if any of the other men would pass while he was talking to me and he would go back to talking the talk of Mr. Lady's Man. While growing up I would have never guessed a thing about him, but his vibration with me after I reached adulthood freaked me out.

 

I could go on and on with stories of nuances from people, that in my childhood I wouldn't never picked up on, or simply just nuances from people in the general public.

 

It's not my place to spread the privacy of others along to others, especially when I have no true evidence of it, but there's one man that I've seen on TV that for some reason makes my Gaydar go off the charts. It's past Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. Why? I don't know... but I just can't help but feel it, and it's been that way with me from the word go. No doubt I could be all wet, but that's the way Gaydar works sometimes where even though your rational mind says you're seeing things that aren't there, there's something deep inside that keeps saying... "Oh yes there is"...

As a nurse and a parent, I have great instincts (well, the parent part has yet to be proven), so I am going to guess that my gaydar is an instinct I don't have. Wish I did. It would make life more interesting.