My mother is fond of telling a story that took place when I was 3 or 4-years-old. She was washing the dishes one summer day & then looked to the backyard. What she was brought both horror & delight. "Randy" was carrying a kitten in his mouth, evidently because he had seen Momma cats doing the same thing.

 

I swear, I don't know how I survived childhood.

:lol: :lol:

I have a TON of these, but unfortunately I can't share many of them.

 

Maybe we could create a PG-13/R version in Hot Topics? haha! Cause I'm sure I could tell plenty that fall into that category too.

I'm sure others could share the same story, but I have a lady friend who once selected Native American on a form because she was born here (definitely very Caucasian).

My Mom likes this one. Around 14 or so I started drinking coffee, but I always got it from a restaurant or someone's house. While driving with my Mother I went into a gas station to get us both some coffee on the way to the school before a wrestling meet. Once I reached the coffee machine I stood in amazement as I tried to figure out how to get the thing to work. Finally, after five minutes of deep thought and deliberations I gave up and asked the elderly woman behind the counter for help.

 

Me: M'am, can you help me with the coffee machine?

Lady: Yes, but what's the problem?

Me: I can't figure out which button to push to make the coffee come out.

Lady: Sure, follow me over here.

 

Without missing a beat she grabbed the coffee pot and poured me a cup.

 

Lady: (While smiling) You got it figured out now?

 

I try to blame it on the early hours and lack of food due to cutting weight.

My Mom likes this one. Around 14 or so I started drinking coffee, but I always got it from a restaurant or someone's house. While driving with my Mother I went into a gas station to get us both some coffee on the way to the school before a wrestling meet. Once I reached the coffee machine I stood in amazement as I tried to figure out how to get the thing to work. Finally, after five minutes of deep thought and deliberations I gave up and asked the elderly woman behind the counter for help.

 

Me: M'am, can you help me with the coffee machine?

Lady: Yes, but what's the problem?

Me: I can't figure out which button to push to make the coffee come out.

Lady: Sure, follow me over here.

 

Without missing a beat she grabbed the coffee pot and poured me a cup.

 

Lady: (While smiling) You got it figured out now?

 

I try to blame it on the early hours and lack of food due to cutting weight.

 

:lol:

First time I ever really drove in downtown Cincy by myself, I was headed to Children's Hospital to visit a friend. It did not take long for me to get lost. I was in a state of confusion already when I looked in front of me at the road & pondered, "Why is everyone in my lane driving toward me?"

Working a very small and very Republican place of business back about 10 years ago or so, we were gathered around coffee pot early before opening and someone and posted the sign on the door that said we will closed for President's Day. A co-worker makes a comment about it and this blond says " why wouldn't we be closed, DUH Bush beat Gore!"

I'm listening to my co-worker order flowers for his wife on V-day right now. He is speaking with a local florist and delivering the flowers here in town. While ordering a dozen roses he just asked this:

 

"Which method do you send the flowers, UPS or Fed Ex?"

 

...yep, usually on the 1-800-Flowers commercial the girl has to rip open the Fed Ex box before getting her flowers.

I'm listening to my co-worker order flowers for his wife on V-day right now. He is speaking with a local florist and delivering the flowers here in town. While ordering a dozen roses he just asked this:

 

"Which method do you send the flowers, UPS or Fed Ex?"

 

...yep, usually on the 1-800-Flowers commercial the girl has to rip open the Fed Ex box before getting her flowers.

 

You live an interesting life with interesting people, my friend. :lol:

After a long night at the drive-in a friend said "my numbs are cheek."

You live an interesting life with interesting people, my friend. :lol:

:lol: :lol:

 

He is a software engineer too.

I had a friend who was going through a messy divorce years ago , he told me that his wife was going to try to deny him visitation rights for their kids .So he goes and jumps from a bridge ovfer I-275 in Ft thomas and killed himself . Showed her didn't he .

After a long night at the drive-in a friend said "my numbs are cheek."

 

:clap:

I had a friend who was going through a messy divorce years ago, he told me that his wife was going to try to deny him visitation rights for their kids. So he goes and jumps from a bridge ovfer I-275 in Ft thomas and killed himself. Showed her didn't he.

 

Yikes.....

When our son was about 4 years old, he was showing a lamb in the FFA Lamb show at School. My dad kept yelling to him.."Lead the Lamb" Finally our son thought he said, "Eat" the lamb, so he goes over and bites the lamb on the back.