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"Hey Ref!! If you need to measure for a first down....I've got something you can use!!"

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I wish my wife would quit washing our shirts with our blue jeans! Beechwood Tiger shirts are supposed to be red. That also explains why my boxers are pink. I need to hire a maid.

Hey left guard!!! Your supposed to PULL TO THE RIGHT!!!

Why's he embarrased? I'm the one that lost the bet and had to wear this stupid North Carolina hoodie!

This thing strapped on my ankle is cutting off my blood supply.

Yells to offensive line: "I want crab blocking on this play!!"

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