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June, I Think We Need to Talk to The Late-Niters...Thread

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2004 Maxima... Going with Progressive, they've been the cheapest.

 

Good car, and good choice on insurance, local claims service which is great if you ever have an accident :thumb:

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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

 

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

 

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.

 

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

 

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

 

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.

 

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

 

OK, now that one's pretty darned funny. :lol:

OK, now that one's pretty darned funny. :lol:

 

At least now I'm batting .500..:lol:

A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

 

She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

 

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

 

The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

 

The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

 

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

 

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my sisters, though."

Make that .667 ... :laugh:

 

:dancingpa:dancingpa

 

 

Better quit while I'm ahead.

Lame night..

 

Lame indeed, playing a lil COD4....

I rear-ended a car this morning.

 

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

 

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?

 

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

 

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!”

 

So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”

I rear-ended a car this morning.

 

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

 

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?

 

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

 

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!”

 

So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”

 

Pretty funny but somebody posted this a little while ago. Sooo, I award you zero points.

there was three friends with the names of Joe, Eddie,and Carlos. all three of them die and go to heaven god sees them and tells them "there is only one rule here in heaven".Joe says "which is". God answers "don't step on any ducks".

 

so one day Joe is walking and he accidentally steps on a duck. so he shows up with this really ugly girl, Eddie and Carlos see him with her and they said "eww what in the world happened" Joe answered "i stepped on a duck".

 

so the next morning Eddie is walkin and he accidently steps on a duck. so he shows up with another ugly girl and Joe and Carlos say "eww what happened" he was like "i stepped on a stupid duck"

 

then the day after Carlos shows up with this fine girl the most perfect girl you can find. Joe and Eddie say "Oh My God Carlos how in the world did you get that" the girl answer "he didn't do nothing, i stepped on that on that duck.

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