July 14, 201610 yr Vietnamese man killed by estranged wife who crushed his testicles - NY Daily News :ylsuper:
July 14, 201610 yr Author ^ Haha lawildcat pops up again with a vengeance. Haha She's like a bad penny...she keeps showing up.
July 14, 201610 yr She's like a bad penny...she keeps showing up. You'd miss me if I weren't here to lighten the mood a little!
July 14, 201610 yr For LA so she can inform her female posse and they in turn can take it to the female masses: Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again! Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We don't remember dates. . . .Period!! Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!! If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.) BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
July 14, 201610 yr Author You'd miss me if I weren't here to lighten the mood a little! Ahhhh...hummm...let me get back to you on that one.:whistling:
July 14, 201610 yr Vietnamese man killed by estranged wife who crushed his testicles - NY Daily News :ylsuper: You don't have to prove anything. We know that women have the power over us. You have half the money and all the "pudding" A wise man told me "They are sitting on a million dollars and most of them don't realize it"
July 14, 201610 yr The one I heard was a gal was checking out her groceries at Kroger. She has broccoli, yogurt, assorted veggies, panty hose, a magazine, Soy milk, package of skinless, boneless chicken, 6 pack of diet sprite and a bottle of wine. The drunk standing behind her in line says, "Hey, I bet you are single" Gal says "Yes I am. And you could tell that from my shopping list?" Drunk says "No, I could tell that because you are ugly as hell" That was going to be my next one LOL
July 14, 201610 yr Boy walks up to his dad and asks "What's the difference between theory and reality ?" Dad says, "come here son, I'll show you" So he asks his wife if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for $5MM and she says "of course I would". Asks his daughter is she would sleep with Justin Beiber for $5MM and she says "of course I would". So he looks down at his son and says. "So son, in theory we are sitting on $10MM, In reality we are living with 2 whores"
July 15, 201610 yr A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a six-foot tall, 175-pound blonde with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna to have to explain it five times."
July 15, 201610 yr So where are all the man secrets? We normally get together & share our secrets down at LBYC....
July 15, 201610 yr [ATTACH]56857[/ATTACH] More than likely the guy's wife gave him an ultimatum to get the addition finished or she was leaving. And the poor soul is sacrificing everything to get the job done!!
July 22, 201610 yr Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, "nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. Husband's Diary, same day: A two-foot putt.. Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
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