Personally, I abhor holding kids back for sports. Yes, it helps some kids succeed in sports. Is that worth wasting a year of their life? The practice hurts kids who aren't held back. My son, who is a senior, won't be 18 until the end of March, 2011. At the recent Best of the Bluegrass All Star game, he said everyone other "kid" he asked was older than him. Seeing that he's 6' 3" and 285 lbs now, he would have been a monster in high school if he had been held back a year. (If held back, he would have been 265 lbs as a sophomore.) I can't see holding back a kid who is an honor student in the National Honor Society just to garner more recognition in sports. I'd had hated it if my parents had held me back.

 

Unfortunately, too many colleges coaches don't seem to realize or care that a 17 year old 6' 3", 285 lb kid will grow and develop more than one who's 18 or 19.

 

My view is that each parent makes the decision and has to live with it. My son turned 17 after the first game of his senior season. Zero regrets. Those that choose to start their child late regardless of the reason are fine with me. They're doing what they think is best.

 

Why criticize parents who make this decision? Who is it hurting? They're not breaking any laws or rules so what's the beef? Your last sentence makes it sound like you had the goal of your son getting a scholarship but it didn't work out for whatever reason. Why hold ill will towards those that had the same goal and figured the best route was to wait a year?

Personally, I abhor holding kids back for sports. Yes, it helps some kids succeed in sports. Is that worth wasting a year of their life? The practice hurts kids who aren't held back. My son, who is a senior, won't be 18 until the end of March, 2011. At the recent Best of the Bluegrass All Star game, he said everyone other "kid" he asked was older than him. Seeing that he's 6' 3" and 285 lbs now, he would have been a monster in high school if he had been held back a year. (If held back, he would have been 265 lbs as a sophomore.) I can't see holding back a kid who is an honor student in the National Honor Society just to garner more recognition in sports. I'd had hated it if my parents had held me back.

 

Unfortunately, too many colleges coaches don't seem to realize or care that a 17 year old 6' 3", 285 lb kid will grow and develop more than one who's 18 or 19.

 

I don't feel that holding my child back and letting her spend another year at home under my supervision and let her be a little older before she hits the real world is wasting a year of anyone's life. My daughter is in the 4th grade, she plays sports but I want her to be 19 going to college and not 18. My decision. I was held back, was National Honor Society, and was awarded a athletic/ academic scholarship. Probably would have happened even if I had graduated a year earilier but I was a lot more prepared for college and real world because I wasted a year at home with my family.

I don't feel that holding my child back and letting her spend another year at home under my supervision and let her be a little older before she hits the real world is wasting a year of anyone's life. My daughter is in the 4th grade, she plays sports but I want her to be 19 going to college and not 18. My decision. I was held back, was National Honor Society, and was awarded a athletic/ academic scholarship. Probably would have happened even if I had graduated a year earilier but I was a lot more prepared for college and real world because I wasted a year at home with my family.

 

My sister turned 18 three weeks before graduating. National Honor Society, D1 scholarship for basketball, 1st string all state. Now a college professor. Anecdotal evidence means nothing.

I only wish my parents would have started me later. I have a November birthday. They started me in school at 4 years old. I was 16 when I started my senior year and then turned 17, three months in. Not to mention, I was a bit of a late bloomer. Athletically, I was always a little behind all my peers. :cry:

I only wish my parents would have started me later. I have a November birthday. They started me in school at 4 years old. I was 16 when I started my senior year and then turned 17, three months in. Not to mention, I was a bit of a late bloomer. Athletically, I was always a little behind all my peers. :cry:

 

I certainly agree. My brother-in-law who teaches high school says everybody should be at least 18 when they graduate. Makes sense to me.

 

Some people need to be held back because they're not intellectually ready or emotionally mature enough. One girl, a year behind me in school who was my age, I know was started in school a year late because she was so small. She was the smallest person in her class even though she was the oldest.

I certainly agree. My brother-in-law who teaches high school says everybody should be at least 18 when they graduate. Makes sense to me.

 

Some people need to be held back because they're not intellectually ready or emotionally mature enough. One girl, a year behind me in school who was my age, I know was started in school a year late because she was so small. She was the smallest person in her class even though she was the oldest.

 

In your earlier post when you said "I abhor holding kids back for sports" when in your mind are you picturing that happening? It's my experience that many of the "held backs" are held back from the get go. Do you abhor that? Or are you talking about when it happens once they start school?

This type of stuff kills me. So many parents nowadays almost make this a flag waving competition thinking that their child is far more advanced just because they watched a Dora the Explorer video over and over that allowed them to count to 10 in Spanish when they were 4, and they were "advanced".......................

 

You may be on to something. My son started school at five, and is in AP classes and ranked 7th in his class. I firmly believe a lot of that is due to his maturity.

I just think if there is something that I can do to give them a little advantage when they hit the real world, I as a parent want to do it!! I think an extra year at home under our supervision is only a positive thing. But that's just the way I parent, I am not one that is pushing my kids to grow up and get out. I have never heard someone say that I really wish that I hadn't held my child back or wish I hadn't been held back as a child. I do, however, hear it in reverse a lot. My decision is to hold my child back so she is repeating the 4th grade now.

My son will turn 19 in May of his senior year. We made our decision about him in pre-school because he was not a bit interested in ABC's in August (when school started) but might have been ready at Christmas time. Our pediatrician made the statement to us at that time that he has never heard a parent state that they wished they would have sent their kids to school a year sooner, but many stating that they wished they would have held them back. If my son benefits athletically because of it then so be it, but that wasn't our motivation with him. It does make me sick though that parents have their kids repeat grades after being promoted because of athletics. I thought there was a KHSAA rule about repeating a grade after the 6th grade. Anybody out there that can share some light on that?

My son will turn 19 in May of his senior year. We made our decision about him in pre-school because he was not a bit interested in ABC's in August (when school started) but might have been ready at Christmas time. Our pediatrician made the statement to us at that time that he has never heard a parent state that they wished they would have sent their kids to school a year sooner, but many stating that they wished they would have held them back. If my son benefits athletically because of it then so be it, but that wasn't our motivation with him. It does make me sick though that parents have their kids repeat grades after being promoted because of athletics. I thought there was a KHSAA rule about repeating a grade after the 6th grade. Anybody out there that can share some light on that?

 

In this day and age it doesn't take much to be labeled with some sort of learning disability, even if your child really doesn't have one. Sorry to offend any, but it's true.

I thought there was a KHSAA rule about repeating a grade after the 6th grade. Anybody out there that can share some light on that?

 

I think the rule says that if you repeat any grade from 8th grade on you lose a year of eligibility. You have four years once you're promoted from the 8th grade. Scott County's Rodney Haddix lost his senior year due to repeating 8th grade.

It's my experience that many of the "held backs" are held back from the get go. Or are you talking about when it happens once they start school?

IMO, "waiting a year to start kindergarten" and "holding them back" are kinda the same thing. "Repeating a grade" is completely another scenario. In the first one, your child really is not completley aware that they are being "held back". They get to spend another year at home, in pre-school, etc. No harm no foul.

For the "repeating a grade" scenario...It was indeed a very sad day when I told my son that he had to repeat second grade. "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I go to third with my friends?", etc etc. We really had no choice becasue the battery of testing indicated to all that he needed to repeat. When asked his grade, his first comment is, "I should be in third". Psychologist even said that when they repeat a grade, it becomes part of their identity for the rest of their lives, they will always have that "stigma" that is difficult to shake. So--I can't imagine telling a kid that is doing fine in school that "Mommy and Daddy decided that you need to be bigger for sports, so you are going to repeat third, 4th, middle school school, etc." How does that work? "Sorry, you can't advance with your classmates, you are too little for sports".

IMO--if there is ever a doubt about placement in your mind, school readiness, child size, etc....have them wait a year BEFORE they start kindergarten, or "hold back a year", vs repeat a grade.

IMO, "waiting a year to start kindergarten" and "holding them back" are kinda the same thing. "Repeating a grade" is completely another scenario. In the first one, your child really is not completley aware that they are being "held back". They get to spend another year at home, in pre-school, etc. No harm no foul.

For the "repeating a grade" scenario...It was indeed a very sad day when I told my son that he had to repeat second grade. "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I go to third with my friends?", etc etc. We really had no choice becasue the battery of testing indicated to all that he needed to repeat. When asked his grade, his first comment is, "I should be in third". Psychologist even said that when they repeat a grade, it becomes part of their identity for the rest of their lives, they will always have that "stigma" that is difficult to shake. So--I can't imagine telling a kid that is doing fine in school that "Mommy and Daddy decided that you need to be bigger for sports, so you are going to repeat third, 4th, middle school school, etc." How does that work? "Sorry, you can't advance with your classmates, you are too little for sports".

IMO--if there is ever a doubt about placement in your mind, school readiness, child size, etc....have them wait a year BEFORE they start kindergarten, or "hold back a year", vs repeat a grade.

 

Great post.

 

If not sure - hold them early. Repeating Kindergarten is nothing like repeating later on. I know.

 

I have discussed the issue of 'hold backs' with recruiters at NCSA. They were shocked when asked about holding kids back for sports reasons. Its just not done in most states.

 

It seems one of the reasons we struggle with this is the wide rand at which kids can enter school. The way the law reads a kid who is only 4 could theoretically start 1st grade. That is because the state law seems to only define "common school" It does not define 1st grade and kindergarten. And if you read the law it implies you kid should be in school when they are 5 years old. See this link here.

 

The law indicates when you 'shall' be in school. But also indicates when you 'may' be in school. It is a wide range and most parents probably go with the lower age a lot.

 

In Missouri they have forced kids to start later. See here.

 

A child is eligible for admission to first grade if the child reaches the age of six (6) before the first day of August of the school year beginning in that calendar year.

 

It also specifically defines kindergarten and 1st grade.

 

Basically, you have to be 6 by August 1st to be in 1st grade. This is trend among states is to force a later start for kids. It helps with a) maturity issues and b) the issue of 'hold back' for athletic reasons.

I think the rule says that if you repeat any grade from 8th grade on you lose a year of eligibility. You have four years once you're promoted from the 8th grade. Scott County's Rodney Haddix lost his senior year due to repeating 8th grade.

 

This is correct. Looking at KHSAA Bylaw 4 I think I see why many have their kids repeat around 5th and 6 grades.

 

A student having been enrolled in the fourth (4th) grade or in any grade through twelfth (12th) shall not be eligible for interscholastic athletics at the high school level (grades 9 through 12) for more than a total of one (1) year in each grade and applicable eligibility shall begin in the first year enrolled in that grade. A student repeating a grade for any reason is ineligible to participate in interscholastic athletics at the high school level (grades 9 through 12) during the second year in that grade.

 

In some schools, in some sports, kids play at the HS level from the 6th grade on. A lot of girls at my daughter's school play freshman basketball while in the 7th grade. (One played varsity.) If you waited till 6th or 7th grade to repeat, the child wouldn't be able to play any high school sport.

In your earlier post when you said "I abhor holding kids back for sports" when in your mind are you picturing that happening? It's my experience that many of the "held backs" are held back from the get go. Do you abhor that? Or are you talking about when it happens once they start school?

 

I'm referring to holding back a student who's started school and doing well solely for the purpose of excelling in sports. Two people I know did this with their sons in the 5th grade. As hoops5 partially points out, there are lots of psychological and social problems encountered when doing this. For beginners, the kid is cut off from their friends, given the message that they're not good enough to compete on the same level as their peers, excelling in sports in more important than living a normal childhood, making good grades, etc.

 

At least when a child starts 1st grade a year late, many of these problems are avoided. Although, we do have a problem in this country with prolonged adolescence as it is. A person becomes a legal adult at age 18. Holding a kid back interferes with being able to behave as an adult. To me the point is to help kids to be good adults, not prolong childhood.