Why is Louisville changing their mascot to the possum?

 

Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

One day in an elementary school in Louisville, a teacher asks her class if the Louisville Cardinals are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

 

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

 

Little Jimmy says, "The Kentucky Wildcats. "

 

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

 

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Wildcat fan, my mom is a Wildcat fan, I guess that makes me a Wildcat fan."

 

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

 

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Louisville fan."

Jim Tressel walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

 

The player agreed, and the Tressell looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

 

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"

 

"Did you say 4?" the Tressell exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

 

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

I was a juror today in a child abuse case where a 7 year old boy was bieng beaten. Finally the judge asked the child would you like to live with your grandparents instead maybe? The boy replied NO they beat me too. The judge said well how about your aunt and uncle? The boy quickly again replied NO they beat me too. The judge finally said well who do you want to live with? The boy said the Louisville football team they don't beat anyone!

 

A Nebraska fan, a Michigan fan, and an Ohio State fan come across a lamp where they then find a genie. The genie says I will grant you all one wish! The Nebraska fan says I want rain it's been to dry this year for our crops. The OSU fan says I want a 500 ft brick wall all the way around Ohio to keep the Michigan fans out. The Michigan fan says I want you to make a swimming pool out of Ohio with his new wall!

Two University of Louisville fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

 

The first Louisville fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

 

The second Louisville fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

 

The first Louisville fan asks, "Why not?"

 

The second Louisville fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

:laugh:

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh::thumb::thumb:

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

 

"The University of Michigan. No one would look for a football player there.

Edited August 29, 200917 yr by oldrambler

Why is Louisville changing their mascot to the possum?

 

Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 

:lol::lol: This may be a winner :lol::lol:

 

What is more macho than a Michigan football player?

"His sister"

Why does U.T. have artificial turf on the field?

"to keep their cheeleaders from grazing"

 

So far, #14, 31 and this get my vote for the best.

Edited August 29, 200917 yr by oldrambler

Lloyd Carr the coach of Michigan Wolverines is a god fearing man. With his team trailing 24-20 to Ohio State, Michigan was driving the ball downfield. Then when they got down to the 2 yard line with only 10 seconds left in the game, Coach Carr called timeout.

He looked up to the sky and said, " God, I have been a good christian man all my life and I have instilled my faith of you to all the players that I have coached. I dont asked for alot, but I just need to know what play should I run to win this game." Then just as he closed his eyes, he heard God say, " Sweep Right 28".

He called the play in, he just knew it was going to work and they would beat OSU. The ball was snapped, the play went right and just as the running back made the turn toward the goal line he was tackled and time ran out and Ohio State won the game.

In Disbelief, Coach Carr looked up to God and said "Why Lord, why didnt the play work, why didnt we win?"

 

God looked to his right and said " Woody, why did you tell me to call that play?":clap: