he would give them a change to.....

play like Rick Robey, Kyle Macy or ..............

let them shoot, even if they were guards, but not until....

they ran 20 laps before and after practice

he played point guard

which, of course, he couldn't do. You see, GURU like most football fanatics has an allergic reaction to any ball shape other than a football. Therefore, he was never able to play basketball, baseball or tennis. He did, however, letter on the Rugby team at the Northern Kentucky Police Academy and Bratwurst Factory (NKPABF) where he also excelled at the annual brat eating contest. Since he couldn't play basketball, despite looking an awful lot like Joe B. Hall, he took a job at a Lexington bank where he...

sat in the vault and played with money all day

until the gentlemen in the white jackets came to take him to.....

Belfry High School where ...

a nice padded room had been readied in expectation of......

Pirategurl's probable melt-down caused by the end of football season. However, the orderlies had left the straps too loose and GURU was able to break free. He stole a Head-Start van and successfully made the trek back to Union, Kentucky. Once there, he checked his email and saw the amnesia-reversing message from someone detailing his whole life story. The next message though, from Cheernbhappy, broke the news to him about...

penguins, and their vicious plans to overthrow....

all high school computer sports forums by getting the participants addicted to.....................

raw fish, and starring at a wall all day because they knew ....

the war in Iraq would disrupt the supply of raw fish from Japan but the Guru came up with the solution by.............