With Guru's approval I am posting the following link to an interesting interview I read that I thought would be a good thread.

Note: The transcript includes one curse word. If that's a problem for you do not read it.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anastasia-kousakis/why-is-america-so-obsesse_b_183798.html

 

 

Speaking of danger, what are the things that abstinence only educators are actually teaching young children, particularly girls, and how are they dangerous?

 

Oh, there are so many! I don't think it's any secret that most abstinence only education is medically inaccurate. They lie about contraception in terms of its failure rate; one class was taught that condoms cause cancer. What ends up happening for a lot of these kids is that they've been taught that birth control is ineffective or birth control is dangerous so they don't use it.

 

Outside of the medical and health dangers there's also a social message being taught in abstinence only education, which is that boys want sex and they'll do anything to get it and girls own sex and have to keep it. It's up to young women to be the gatekeepers of sexuality. There's a lot of talk about dressing a certain way, you control what men think of you. It's this very disturbing message that somehow young women have control over male sexuality, and that you shouldn't get a guy too excited. Which, of course lends itself to all sorts of victim blaming and sexual assault situations and things like that. So, that's also very dangerous.

There's a lot to process here. First, the subject of the interview has a worldview that I simply cannot relate to or understand. There are a lot of ideas jumbled together in that interview and it's tough to sort out. Certain points are more than valid; there are a great many I even agree with. But, in the end, it comes out of a worldview in which sexuality has a far different meaning and even definition than the one espoused by the Christians she finds so repugnant.

There is a lot to talk about in this interview. But I'd like to first say something about the part that first caught my attention.

 

[Laughs] Purity Balls. I could talk about Purity Balls all day. Purity Balls are essentially daddy-daughter dances where young girls at some point in the evening will pledge their virginity to their fathers, and their fathers, in turn, will pledge to be the caretakers of said virginity. If you can watch a video it's very, very disturbing. The language they use is mired in ownership and these really old school, antiquated norms about daddies owning their daughters. There's one video where the fathers give the daughters a necklace--it's a lock and a key. She keeps the lock and he keeps the key until the day she gets married and he gives the key/penis to her future husband. Very, very disturbing.

I have never heard of such a thing and honestly would like to know how common they are. I agree with the author that this a very, very disturbing and go back to the time of dowry's and patriarchal ownership. So, can anyone attest that they have witnessed or even heard of a Purity Ball?

Interesting.

God forbid we teach abstinence. It might interfere with their sexting.

There is a lot to talk about in this interview. But I'd like to first say something about the part that first caught my attention.

 

I have never heard of such a thing and honestly would like to know how common they are. I agree with the author that this a very, very disturbing and go back to the time of dowry's and patriarchal ownership. So, can anyone attest that they have witnessed or even heard of a Purity Ball?

 

I am not familiar with the dance portion of the equation but I have heard of the pledge and the "lock and key."

God forbid we teach abstinence. It might interfere with their sexting.

 

The lady obviously believes abstinence doesn't work.

 

You?

There's a lot to process here. First, the subject of the interview has a worldview that I simply cannot relate to or understand. There are a lot of ideas jumbled together in that interview and it's tough to sort out. Certain points are more than valid; there are a great many I even agree with. But, in the end, it comes out of a worldview in which sexuality has a far different meaning and even definition than the one espoused by the Christians she finds so repugnant.

 

Take out the anti-Christian piece of the equation for discussion sake.

 

Details on the "worldview" comment?

 

You agree with which parts?

The lady obviously believes abstinence doesn't work.

 

You?

Abstinence definitely works. You can't get an STD or pregnant if you abstain.

 

Teaching abstinence isn't perfect, but it may save a few kids from hard times. Sex has become a recreational activity for our adolescents. Something needs to be done and teaching them only about birth control sends the wrong message and expectations.

Abstinence definitely works. You can't get an STD or pregnant if you abstain.

 

Teaching abstinence isn't perfect, but it may save a few kids from hard times. Sex has become a recreational activity for our adolescents. Something needs to be done and teaching them only about birth control sends the wrong message and expectations.

 

Let me rephrase since you have given an "if you don't get into a car you can't be in a car wreck " answer.

 

Has the abstinence movement been effective? Is it realistic? Does it cause kids to be unprepared (ie no condom for example) when the biological urge takes over the pledge to abstinence?

Abstinence definitely works. You can't get an STD or pregnant if you abstain.

 

Teaching abstinence isn't perfect, but it may save a few kids from hard times. Sex has become a recreational activity for our adolescents. Something needs to be done and teaching them only about birth control sends the wrong message and expectations.

 

While I agree that abstinence definitely works in preventing std's and pregnancies. I disagree that sex has become a recreational activity for adolescents, I think it always has been and always will be which IMO makes abstinence ineffective. It's human nature and we are talking about a time in a person's life when those urges are running wild.

The lady obviously believes abstinence doesn't work.

 

You?

 

It's the only 100% sure fire way to prevent pregnancy.

It's the only 100% sure fire way to prevent pregnancy.

 

True, but it's also unrealistic to expect an abstinence-only approach to work — which is on par with putting your head in the sand. A combined approach of education of abstinence and birth control methods is the only realistic way to combat teen pregnancy and STDs.

True, but it's also unrealistic to expect an abstinence-only approach to work — which is on par with putting your head in the sand. A combined approach of education of abstinence and birth control methods is the only realistic way to combat teen pregnancy and STDs.

 

 

We agree on this one.

 

The problem is that many on one side believe that we should only teach abstinence. Many on the other side believe that abstinence will never happen so why spend any time on it at all. Both sides are wrong. Both should be taught with a real emphasis on why the best way is to wait, ... but should have the other options, ... just in case. But virginity, should NEVER be ridiculed. It is admirable when young people show enough restraint to wait.

 

However, the real key is that these things should be taught at home.

While I agree that abstinence definitely works in preventing std's and pregnancies. I disagree that sex has become a recreational activity for adolescents, I think it always has been and always will be which IMO makes abstinence ineffective. It's human nature and we are talking about a time in a person's life when those urges are running wild.

 

I don't think I could disagree any further. I'm an old goat and I can tell you for a fact that when I was high school age the sexual escapades of my class mates were no where near as varied or accepted as those of the teenagers of today. Yes there were kids having sex but I can almost guarantee that it wasn't with the frequency and the numbers that it is today. I don't buy the whole "it's human nature" argument either. It's human nature to be able to control those urges, it's almost animalistic IMVHO to let those urges take over for you. At the very minimum "it's human nature" is a excuse for irresponsible behavior. While I definitely don't think that abstinence only education is the proper course I also disagree wholeheartedly by the implied approval of irresponsible behavior in some forms of sex education. I am 100% against providing teenagers with any type of birth control through the high schools. As to the article I strongly believe that virginity is in many cases something to be celebrated rather then ridiculed and it is definitely a desirable quality in unmarried people.