What are the differences between the two major political parties? This was read on the House of Representatives by an Indiana Congressman a few years ago:

 

 

Democrats seldom make good polo players.

 

The people you see coming out of white wooden churches are Republicans.

 

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

 

Republicans are likely to have fewer but larger debts that cause them no concern.

 

Democrats owe a lot of small bills. They don't worry either.

 

Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in the country. The remainder is thrown out.

 

Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paintbrushes.

 

Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.

 

Republicans post all the signs saying 'No Trespassing' and 'These Deer Are private Property", and so on. Democrats bring picnic baskets and start their bonfires with signs.

 

Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on bugs.

 

Republicans have governesses for their children. Democrats have grandmothers.

 

Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the most money is.

 

Large cities such as New York are filled with Republicans....up until 5 p.m. At this point there is a phenomenon much like an automatic washer starting the spin cycle. People begin pouring out of every exit in the city. these are Republicans going home.

 

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, though there isn't any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.

 

Republicans fish from the stern of a chartered boat. Democrats sit on the dock and let the fish come to them.

 

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in their bird cage.

 

Most of the stuff you see alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.

 

On Saturday, Republicans head for the hunting lodge or the yacht club. Democrats wash their car and get a haircut.

 

Republicans raise dahias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Aierdales, kids, and taxes.

 

Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.

 

Democrats watch TV crime and Western shows that make them clench their fists and and become red in the face. Republicans get the same effect from presidential press conferences.

 

Christmas cards that Democrats send are filled with reindeer and chimneys and long messages. Republicans select cards containing a spray of holly, or a single candle.

 

Democrats are continually saying, "This Christmas we're going to be sensible." Republicans consider this highly unlikely.

 

Republicans smoke cigars on weekdays.

 

Republicans have guest rooms. Democrats have spare rooms filled with old baby furniture.

 

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but they fill entitled to have a little fun first.

 

Democrats make up plans and do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

 

Democrats purchase all the tools....the power saws and mowers. A Republican probably wouldn't know how to use a screwdriver.

 

Democrats suffer from chapped hands and headaches. Republicans have tennis elbow and gout.

 

Republicans sleep in twin beds....some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.

I thought this thread would generate some light-hearted discussion. I guess I was wrong.:bunny:

For what it's worth the last statement was the one I got the biggest chuckle from.

I love the New York one! Even though it is about the two political parties, you might get more interest in it in the general forum.

What are the differences between the two major political parties? This was read on the House of Representatives by an Indiana Congressman a few years ago:

 

 

Democrats seldom make good polo players.

 

The people you see coming out of white wooden churches are Republicans.

 

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

 

Republicans are likely to have fewer but larger debts that cause them no concern.

 

Democrats owe a lot of small bills. They don't worry either.

 

Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in the country. The remainder is thrown out.

 

Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paintbrushes.

 

Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.

 

Republicans post all the signs saying 'No Trespassing' and 'These Deer Are private Property", and so on. Democrats bring picnic baskets and start their bonfires with signs.

 

Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on bugs.

 

Republicans have governesses for their children. Democrats have grandmothers.

 

Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the most money is.

 

Large cities such as New York are filled with Republicans....up until 5 p.m. At this point there is a phenomenon much like an automatic washer starting the spin cycle. People begin pouring out of every exit in the city. these are Republicans going home.

 

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, though there isn't any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.

 

Republicans fish from the stern of a chartered boat. Democrats sit on the dock and let the fish come to them.

 

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in their bird cage.

 

Most of the stuff you see alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.

 

On Saturday, Republicans head for the hunting lodge or the yacht club. Democrats wash their car and get a haircut.

 

Republicans raise dahias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Aierdales, kids, and taxes.

 

Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.

 

Democrats watch TV crime and Western shows that make them clench their fists and and become red in the face. Republicans get the same effect from presidential press conferences.

 

Christmas cards that Democrats send are filled with reindeer and chimneys and long messages. Republicans select cards containing a spray of holly, or a single candle.

 

Democrats are continually saying, "This Christmas we're going to be sensible." Republicans consider this highly unlikely.

 

Republicans smoke cigars on weekdays.

Republicans have guest rooms. Democrats have spare rooms filled with old baby furniture.

 

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican tled to have a little fun first.

 

Democrats make up plans and do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

 

Democrats purchase all the tools....the power saws and mowers. A Republican probably wouldn't know how to use a screwdriver.

 

Democrats suffer from chapped hands and headaches. Republicans have tennis elbow and gout.

 

Republicans sleep in twin beds....some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.

 

Democrats only smoke them during a meeting with a foreign diplomat.

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

I liked this one. The rest were pretty lame. How many lines do you need to say Republicans are rich and uncaring?

No kidding how wrong is it to put oneself and family above all others? I have never figured out what is wrong with this? Yet many continue to feel that society as a whole should be the most important thing we consider.

You know I've got to say this, and please don't take it wrong, but how many times are things posted here about Democrats with such a broad brush and everyone here is laughing and pointing, "Yeah, that's them liberals."

 

Now the post is poking fun at everyone and particularly Republicans and the statements are:

 

How many lines do you need to say Republicans are rich and uncaring?

 

 

No kidding how wrong is it to put oneself and family above all others?

 

 

I kind of looked at these generalizations as off the mark in some ways, but not too far off for either side of the fence. It's just :lol: that neither of us can laugh at ourselves and how we appear sometimes.

Would you consider yourself a capitalist or a socialist?

Would you consider yourself a capitalist or a socialist?

Depends on whether you're asking a Republican or Democrat.

I was simply asking you what you would consider yourself.

 

I wonder what a survey or poll would look like on this website if that question were posed.

I was simply asking you what you would consider yourself.

 

I wonder what a survey or poll would look like on this website if that question were posed.

BGP leans to the right.

BGP leans to the right.

 

I agree.

 

You still didn't answer my question, which would you consider yourself a Socialist or Capitalist?

I agree.

 

You still didn't answer my question, which would you consider yourself a Socialist or Capitalist?

I'd consider myself a social-conservative. I'm against most government regulation of business, but I also feel that we have an obligation to take care of those who can't take care of themselves. Based on the first post, I guess that would make me a Republicrat.

No kidding how wrong is it to put oneself and family above all others? I have never figured out what is wrong with this? Yet many continue to feel that society as a whole should be the most important thing we consider.

 

This is an interesting comment it that I find it ironic you would say this, yet Republicans consider themselves to be the standard-bearer in terms of patriotism. Kind of a contradiction, yes?

 

Here's one we can add: Republicans love to wave the flag and talk about their dedication to the USA, but see no problem when one of their compatriots decides to take his business out of the country to save a few bucks, rather than doing what's right for the country as a whole and sticking it out in the US.

Here's one we can add: Republicans love to wave the flag and talk about their dedication to the USA, but see no problem when one of their compatriots decides to take his business out of the country to save a few bucks, rather than doing what's right for the country as a whole and sticking it out in the US.

On the other hand, Democrats regulate, legislate and tax the crap out of businesses and then are surprised when they move beyond their grasp.