If there is no evidence of any physical abuse, how can you or I know whether there was or wasn't physical abuse? I tend to believe that because there was no evidence of it happening, it likely didn't happen. Maybe that is me being to reliant on evidence, but it is what it is, and it isn't what it isn't.

 

I do find it odd that the person you talked to wasn't called in to give a testimony. For what it's worth, I went to school with the daughter for 6 years, passed her in the halls on numerous occasions, and never saw signs that she had been beaten, as was previously mentioned. Now, I am not saying that I sat there gave a full medical examination, but I don't recall anything overtly obvious.

 

Unfortunately this is all too often the case. Do you think that an abusive person doesn't have the ability to abuse without any outward signs ?

 

The overtly obvious signs are easy for anyone, this would appear to be an extreme case based on the testimony and I would not expect overt, physical abuse indicators. I'm 100% certain that mental / emotional abuse factors are present in this case, those are no less damaging and often more damaging than overt, physical signs.

I read somewhere that, statistically speaking, the chances of a woman getting killed by an abusive husband is when she chooses to leave him. According to the news, he had just found out that she was talking to a divorce lawyer.

 

If he had been physically and emotionally abusive to her during their marriage, and if he told her, as reported, he would kill their children if she did not kill herself, and put a gun to her head, I would say it might be justified. He might not have been threatening her at the moment she shot him, but her past experiences with him, may have made her believe that he would make good on his threats. Women who suffer abuse know it is not as simple as "just call the police," particularly when your spouse has the "great guy" image that he portrayed outside the home. He may very well have pushed her to the point where she truly thought it was her only solution.

 

I am not saying this particular case was or was not justified, just that I can see where it could be. No one really know what goes on in other people's homes.

 

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.

 

Domestic Abuse Shelter - A New Beginning

Unfortunately this is all too often the case. Do you think that an abusive person doesn't have the ability to abuse without any outward signs ?

 

The overtly obvious signs are easy for anyone, this would appear to be an extreme case based on the testimony and I would not expect overt, physical abuse indicators. I'm 100% certain that mental / emotional abuse factors are present in this case, those are no less damaging and often more damaging than overt, physical signs.

 

Yes I clearly understand that abuse can occur that doesn't show obvious signs. However, we were talking about physical abuse, as was claimed to have occurred to the daughter. Physical abuse has obvious signs. There was no evidence of physical abuse.

 

How do you prove the existence of mental/ emotional abuse? How do you define mental/ emotional abuse? Does mental/ emotional abuse justify a reaction such as murder?

 

It seems that in regards to mental abuse, it is usually one person's word over another. In this case, the other view will never be reveal. We will never know the legitimacy of her claims, or what the other side of the story was. We are just taking one person's word on what happened. Keep in mind, that the person's whose word we are taking has everything to gain by making her husband out to be a monster. If I was in her shoes, you better believe that I would be doing anything and everything to justify why I killed him.

 

It just seems that there is a whole lot of speculation going on around this case, and about why she killed him and exactly what the situation was like. The evidence presented to the court did not support her claims, and that is why she was convicted.

Also from la's link:

 

On average, a woman will leave an abusive relationship seven times before she leaves for good.

Here is a good link for any women in an abusive relationship:

 

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship: The Exit Action Plan - Free Yourself from Domestic Abuse | LeavingAbuse.com

[ATTACH]53885[/ATTACH]

 

I'm not sure how serious something like this can be when it claims "playing mind games," "making all the big decisions" and "calling her names" , among other things, are acts of violence.

I'm not sure how serious something like this can be when it claims "playing mind games," "making all the big decisions" and "calling her names" , among other things, are acts of violence.

 

Once again, I'll just say that some people have no idea what domestic violence entails. It is never just physical. If someone continually tells you that you are ugly and no one will ever have you, eventually you will start to believe that. Sort of a Stockholm Syndrome, if you will.

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.

 

Domestic Abuse Shelter - A New Beginning

 

Interesting stat. Do we know of any locals whom have killed their abused wives? I can think of 2 locals wives who have killed their husband. It might be why is it hard for folks to grasp the magnitude. I don't think we hear much when the man kills the lady, but when a mad gets capped it is all over the news.

Interesting stat. Do we know of any locals whom have killed their abused wives? I can think of 2 locals wives who have killed their husband. It might be why is it hard for folks to grasp the magnitude. I don't think we hear much when the man kills the lady, but when a mad gets capped it is all over the news.

 

I can't think of any other deaths. I do recall the girl in Ft. Thomas being gunned down by her husband and is now paralyzed. Alisha Waters. As I recall, she requested a restraining order and was denied by a Boone Co. judge.

Once again, I'll just say that some people have no idea what domestic violence entails. It is never just physical. If someone continually tells you that you are ugly and no one will ever have you, eventually you will start to believe that. Sort of a Stockholm Syndrome, if you will.

 

You can continue to say that I dont know what domestic violence entails, but that doesn't mean what you are saying it is true. Sorry I dont think something as petty as name calling is domestic violence. Is it mean? Yes. Is it violence? No. It being on a silly little picture isn't going to change my mind about that.

 

All in all, thank you all for the entertaining chat today. It really made a slow day in the office somewhat less boring.

You can continue to say that I dont know what domestic violence entails, but that doesn't mean what you are saying it is true. Sorry I dont think something as petty as name calling is domestic violence. Is it mean? Yes. Is it violence? No. It being on a silly little picture isn't going to change my mind about that.

 

All in all, thank you all for the entertaining chat today. It really made a slow day in the office somewhat less boring.

 

Obviously you and are aren't going to change each other's opinion regarding this subject. I sincerely hope that none of your loved ones ever fall into the cycle of DM and look to you for answers.

^ cat just played the I am better than you card! :popcorn:

^ cat just played the I am better than you card! :popcorn:

 

Don't put words in my mouth just to extend the thread. I absolutely do not believe I am better than anyone.

Obviously you and are aren't going to change each other's opinion regarding this subject. I sincerely hope that none of your loved ones ever fall into the cycle of DM and look to you for answers.

 

While I appreciate your well wishes to my loved ones, in all honesty, I hope they don't take advice from you and others who are trying to use domestic violence as a justification for murder, either.

 

I would hope that they would seek professional advice, not from anonymous users on a public forum, and all other appropriate measures. I surely wouldn't want to have one loved one in jail, and the other facing serious jail time, when it could have been avoided numerous times.