Forget this religion stuff... the real question should be: dating outside your species - for or against?

 

Against. I saw a deer with a poodle one time. NOT a pretty sight.

Need to agree on 3 crucial things: Faith, Finances, & Family (how many kids we having & when).

A question for those who are opposed....How is dismissing anyone of a different faith any different than refusing to date someone of a different race?

I met a nice Catholic boy from western Kentucky at UK 18 years ago. A couple of weeks after our first date, he asked me if I would like to go to church with him. As a lifelong church-going Southern Baptist, I was nervous and excited to attend a Catholic mass. I enjoyed it immensely and started going to mass with him every week. After two years of attending mass weekly, sometimes even alone, he and I went through RCIA together. I became a Catholic with my family's total support--mostly I think because they saw how happy we were as a couple and neither of us wanted an interfaith marriage. 13 years and 5 kids later, I think we are a great testament that one should never limit oneself to dating only within one's faith! Catholicism has become more than a religion to me, it is a way of life. We travel a great deal on weekends because of my kids' sports and I can honestly say in all our travels we have only missed mass a couple of times. My kids know we always look for a church when we are out of town and my kids' friends know that my kids always go to church during tournaments. Several of their friends have commented on it and some have even asked to go with us! So long story short, I am glad that I didn't shy away from dating outside my faith--both for my marriage and my spiritual health!

I met a nice Catholic boy from western Kentucky at UK 18 years ago. A couple of weeks after our first date, he asked me if I would like to go to church with him. As a lifelong church-going Southern Baptist, I was nervous and excited to attend a Catholic mass. I enjoyed it immensely and started going to mass with him every week. After two years of attending mass weekly, sometimes even alone, he and I went through RCIA together. I became a Catholic with my family's total support--mostly I think because they saw how happy we were as a couple and neither of us wanted an interfaith marriage. 13 years and 5 kids later, I think we are a great testament that one should never limit oneself to dating only within one's faith! Catholicism has become more than a religion to me, it is a way of life. We travel a great deal on weekends because of my kids' sports and I can honestly say in all our travels we have only missed mass a couple of times. My kids know we always look for a church when we are out of town and my kids' friends know that my kids always go to church during tournaments. Several of their friends have commented on it and some have even asked to go with us! So long story short, I am glad that I didn't shy away from dating outside my faith--both for my marriage and my spiritual health!

Great story TTL

A question for those who are opposed....How is dismissing anyone of a different faith any different than refusing to date someone of a different race?

In my worldview there is only one race... the human race. Although God has exhibited His creativity by wrapping us in a wide range of sizes, shapes and colors we're all the same on the inside... and I'm not just talking about bones and muscles and blood types. I speaking at the level of our souls and spirits... and the genuine needs we all have at that level. The deeper you look, the more alike we are.

 

Dismissing someone because of their skin tone, the shape and color of their eyes, etc. makes no more sense than dismissing someone because of the color of their hair... or for that matter the color of shirt they happen to be wearing on any given day. Race is superficial, inconsequential in terms of what truly makes a person who they are. Faith on the other hand is elemental... emanating from the deepest layers of our humanity. A person's beliefs, worldview and the actions that occur based upon those fundamental beliefs have a much greater impact and influence on who and what that person is, than the depth and tone of their suntan.

 

According to Jesus, what we believe and how we behave has a direct bearing upon where and how we will experience eternity. Nowhere in the Bible do I read of anyone being elected or condemned merely for their race or skin tone. We are judged based upon things we are able to willfully influence such as our beliefs and actions... not for things we have no choice or control over like our skin tone, where we were born, the parents we have or our "natural" hair and eye color.

 

Martin Luther King Junior's dream included, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." This comes as close to condensing my thoughts as anything I can think of on this topic.

 

A person's faith/beliefs and character are far more significant than the color of their skin or the clothes they wear.

A question for those who are opposed....How is dismissing anyone of a different faith any different than refusing to date someone of a different race?

I'm not sure if my answers fell within the category of one who is "dismissing anyone of a different faith"...if it is, tell me and I'll try to formulate a response in defense.

I met a nice Catholic boy from western Kentucky at UK 18 years ago. A couple of weeks after our first date, he asked me if I would like to go to church with him. As a lifelong church-going Southern Baptist, I was nervous and excited to attend a Catholic mass. I enjoyed it immensely and started going to mass with him every week. After two years of attending mass weekly, sometimes even alone, he and I went through RCIA together. I became a Catholic with my family's total support--mostly I think because they saw how happy we were as a couple and neither of us wanted an interfaith marriage. 13 years and 5 kids later, I think we are a great testament that one should never limit oneself to dating only within one's faith! Catholicism has become more than a religion to me, it is a way of life. We travel a great deal on weekends because of my kids' sports and I can honestly say in all our travels we have only missed mass a couple of times. My kids know we always look for a church when we are out of town and my kids' friends know that my kids always go to church during tournaments. Several of their friends have commented on it and some have even asked to go with us! So long story short, I am glad that I didn't shy away from dating outside my faith--both for my marriage and my spiritual health!

Masstimes.org is a great resource and a great organization (although the server is kind of slow).

Believe me--we have masstimes.org bookmarked on my husband's Blackberry! :lol: You are correct though, the server is terrible. We have found it works better to just google "city" Catholic Church and it is easier.

 

Thanks, KyTmcNcc!:thumb:

I had dated around 6 girls when I was a youth All but one was Catholic ,The non -Catholic was a neighbor when we were 16 so that would never become serious . One girl was an ex -con , I met her through some friends ( oh I mean she left St Anne's Convent after 2 years that is what she called herself an ex-con ) then I met my wife . She was raised as a Baptist until 1st grade because her dad was a southern Baptist ,when 1st grade came along her Catholic mother enrolled her in Catholic School . She has a strong Cathoilc faith as do I . She has two siblings , both nominally Baptist . Faith is important , but if you really love each other all barriers can be breeched .

In my worldview there is only one race... the human race. Although God has exhibited His creativity by wrapping us in a wide range of sizes, shapes and colors we're all the same on the inside... and I'm not just talking about bones and muscles and blood types. I speaking at the level of our souls and spirits... and the genuine needs we all have at that level. The deeper you look, the more alike we are.

 

Dismissing someone because of their skin tone, the shape and color of their eyes, etc. makes no more sense than dismissing someone because of the color of their hair... or for that matter the color of shirt they happen to be wearing on any given day. Race is superficial, inconsequential in terms of what truly makes a person who they are. Faith on the other hand is elemental... emanating from the deepest layers of our humanity. A person's beliefs, worldview and the actions that occur based upon those fundamental beliefs have a much greater impact and influence on who and what that person is, than the depth and tone of their suntan.

 

According to Jesus, what we believe and how we behave has a direct bearing upon where and how we will experience eternity. Nowhere in the Bible do I read of anyone being elected or condemned merely for their race or skin tone. We are judged based upon things we are able to willfully influence such as our beliefs and actions... not for things we have no choice or control over like our skin tone, where we were born, the parents we have or our "natural" hair and eye color.

 

Martin Luther King Junior's dream included, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." This comes as close to condensing my thoughts as anything I can think of on this topic.

 

A person's faith/beliefs and character are far more significant than the color of their skin or the clothes they wear.

 

 

Are they not both forms of discrimination though?

I met a nice Catholic boy from western Kentucky at UK 18 years ago. A couple of weeks after our first date, he asked me if I would like to go to church with him. As a lifelong church-going Southern Baptist, I was nervous and excited to attend a Catholic mass. I enjoyed it immensely and started going to mass with him every week. After two years of attending mass weekly, sometimes even alone, he and I went through RCIA together. I became a Catholic with my family's total support--mostly I think because they saw how happy we were as a couple and neither of us wanted an interfaith marriage. 13 years and 5 kids later, I think we are a great testament that one should never limit oneself to dating only within one's faith! Catholicism has become more than a religion to me, it is a way of life. We travel a great deal on weekends because of my kids' sports and I can honestly say in all our travels we have only missed mass a couple of times. My kids know we always look for a church when we are out of town and my kids' friends know that my kids always go to church during tournaments. Several of their friends have commented on it and some have even asked to go with us! So long story short, I am glad that I didn't shy away from dating outside my faith--both for my marriage and my spiritual health!

Your story also clearly outlines the benefits to a marriage and the raising of children within a home in which both mother and father are equally yoked (in agreement) in a common faith... a marriage and family that are essentially "pulling together" in the same spiritual direction. Imagine the hurdles and frustrations you would have endured over 13 years, had both of you remained adamant that your original faith was the only way to go.

 

To be absolutely clear... I do not suggest that interfaith dating or even marriage should be forbidden, but merely that being "equally yoked" in a common faith is wise.

 

I suggest that TTL figured this out 13 years ago, and her story strongly supports the wisdom of a unified faith marriage. :thumb:

Your story also clearly outlines the benefits to a marriage and the raising of children within a home in which both mother and father are equally yoked (in agreement) in a common faith... a marriage and family that are essentially "pulling together" in the same spiritual direction. Imagine the hurdles and frustrations you would have endured over 13 years, had both of you remained adamant that your original faith was the only way to go.

 

To be absolutely clear... I do not suggest that interfaith dating or even marriage should be forbidden, but merely that being "equally yoked" in a common faith is wise.

 

I suggest that TTL figured this out 13 years ago, and her story strongly supports the wisdom of a unified faith marriage. :thumb:

A little off subject, but not really in most cases. Let's say there is an inter-faith marriage where children are involved. I pose the following question:

 

Would a child not have a greater experience, or be better prepared to face the struggles, if they are introduced to a wide range of beliefs with the option of forming their own spiritual beliefs?

Are they not both forms of discrimination though?

Even if it were (which I may or may not think it is)...discriminating from what? The right to date me? :lol:

Delete- former edited his post.

Are they not both forms of discrimination though?

Perhaps.

 

There was a time when the idea of being "discriminating" was a high compliment... meaning a person capable of "discriminating" between bad, good, better and best... a person displaying sound judgement. Since the 1950's "discrimination" has become more and more limited to those who "discriminate" against others simply for superficial reasons. As a result, "discrimination" in the current context is an understandably negative concept.

 

Regardless of the terminology applied, the excercising of good judgement and wisdom are highly desirable traits. I will not deny that there are examples where two persons of different faiths have managed to build marriages and seemingly happy families... nor will I deny that there are many divorces and broken homes among people of apparently similar faiths.

 

The bottom line is, and again TTL's story affirms this, a marriage between a man and a woman in agreement in how they will worship and serve their God together, and how they will raise their children in a common faith with unified virtues is going to cause a lot less headaches, than a marriage in which both partners disagree... or for that matter, even a marriage in which both partners may agree in principle, but one partner is cold and the other on fire for their beliefs. Certainly, things (and people) can change, but a marriage based upon agreement will be a whole lot less rocky than a marriage constantly in tension. Partners in a balanced marriage have the opportunity to invest more of their creative energies upon being productive in many areas rather than constantly working just to hold their marriage together.

 

You are free to date and marry or not marry whosoever you may choose without one whit of judgement or condemnation from me... (who am I anyway?) I simply believe there is greater wisdom and far less frustration in unity than in disparity. As for me and my house, unity is our goal... not mindless and blind agreement for the sake of agreeing, but deeply pondered and reasoned consent for the purpose of building something of lasting value.

 

Judging people for things they cannot help like their skin color or dialect is wrong... but if we can't evaluate someone for the things they choose to believe, say and do... then what basis do we have to separate murderers and rapists from the generous, kind and loving?