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happy ol' dad

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  1. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  2. Deaf people did not exist until Chuck Norris was asked to speak a little louder at the McDonalds drive through. A unicorn once kicked Chuck Norris. That is why they no longer exist. Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. Chuck Norris has the eyes of an angel and the soul of a saint. He keeps them in a footlocker under his bed. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims. Chuck Norris was about to send an email when he realized it'd be faster to run. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
  3. First thing I'm doing, well I already have begun, is buying up guns. Just got my AK-47. Buying up many assault rifles. I'm getting a few more AK's. Also, a few other nice ones. Nice thing about Kentucky is you don't have to register them if they are sold from one person to another. So none of them will be registered, and I won't have to worry about losing them. Then I can sell them at a nice high price when Obama uses his civilian military to take everyone else's away. Also begin building a bunker on my farm land. Hidden in the woods.
  4. Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: . Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s can halfway through the first chapter. It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself. Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
  5. Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toe, he randomly smashes furniture and roadside curbs.
  6. I don't think turnout is going to be as high as expected, most of the excited voters have already voted in early voting polls. McCain 277 He takes CO, PA, OH, MO, FL, NC Obama does get VA McCain 48.9% Obama 49.1% Other 2%
  7. Now if we can just get Porter to transfer or even be the ball boy then we are going to be fine....
  8. With him, PP and Perry we should be OK in the front court.. PP needs help to make the team better...
  9. Thats exactly right plus I dont see BCG letting him hang around anyways...
  10. PP has 8 offensive rebounds already.. Hes a beast...
  11. I thought Russell was weak but I knew that there 6,7 and 8th greaders were good but I guess there JV program is good aswell...
  12. I have always wondered why Raceland and Russell have outstanding kickers???
  13. I think Billy Clyde has got more players that can play his style of ball which appears to be showing...
  14. Maybe not so sure on the 3 peat next year... But good luck to both!!!!
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