Wow what is going on with players who are "missing", "get mad and quit" or "disappear" because of some other conflict with fellow players and/or coaches. I personally have seen this over and over where parents and/or players want to be begged to continue playing on a particular team. How does everyone think situations like these should be handled? It seems as if it is not sending the right message when, in these situations, coaches just welcome players back with open arms...no questions asked.

These kind of matters, need to remain between the Coach and Player. Keep the reasons private and in the locker room.

These kind of matters, need to remain between the Coach and Player. Keep the reasons private and in the locker room.

 

Very good advice.

These kind of matters, need to remain between the Coach and Player. Keep the reasons private and in the locker room.

 

And parents stay OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

These kind of matters, need to remain between the Coach and Player. Keep the reasons private and in the locker room.

 

I wholeheartedly agree. I was just wondering, as so many "others" (not the coach and player) seem to talk about it and it only serves to have a negative impact on the team. I was only looking for opinions!

In many many cases it depends on the player and the impact he/she has on the program. If the player is an impact player and the "meal-ticket" they tend to be welcomed back; however, if the player is not very talented...it's usually good riddens.

 

Too many player's need to be coddled these day's...which tends to create tension amongst the rest of the team. In the end, it's up to the coach.

And parents stay OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

 

That's where too many coaches get in trouble. You are 100% correct lbbc.

This is purely a coach issue. Actually a Leadership issue. People will do what you let them do and what they have seen others do before them. If as a leader, you are consistent and fair you will gain the trust and respect that is needed to lead any organization or in this case team. So how do you handle it? Like a leader. You begin each year by expressing your expectations and your dos and don'ts and the consequences for misconduct. Then when someone breaks a team rule, you follow thru with what you said you would do regardless of the talent. Sure you and the team take one in the chin during that instance, but your reputation of not allowing sub standard conduct will carry with you and possibly keep it from happening in the future. The key is the respect. Once you earn the respect alot of these conduct type issues won't happen.

This is purely a coach issue. Actually a Leadership issue. People will do what you let them do and what they have seen others do before them. If as a leader, you are consistent and fair you will gain the trust and respect that is needed to lead any organization or in this case team. So how do you handle it? Like a leader. You begin each year by expressing your expectations and your dos and don'ts and the consequences for misconduct. Then when someone breaks a team rule, you follow thru with what you said you would do regardless of the talent. Sure you and the team take one in the chin during that instance, but your reputation of not allowing sub standard conduct will carry with you and possibly keep it from happening in the future. The key is the respect. Once you earn the respect alot of these conduct type issues won't happen.

 

I agree 100%- very well said! Kids will push you as far as you let them and once they know that they cannot or that there are consequences, that really changes things.

This is purely a coach issue. Actually a Leadership issue. People will do what you let them do and what they have seen others do before them. If as a leader, you are consistent and fair you will gain the trust and respect that is needed to lead any organization or in this case team. So how do you handle it? Like a leader. You begin each year by expressing your expectations and your dos and don'ts and the consequences for misconduct. Then when someone breaks a team rule, you follow thru with what you said you would do regardless of the talent. Sure you and the team take one in the chin during that instance, but your reputation of not allowing sub standard conduct will carry with you and possibly keep it from happening in the future. The key is the respect. Once you earn the respect alot of these conduct type issues won't happen.

 

Excellent post and dead-on.

I wholeheartedly agree. I was just wondering, as so many "others" (not the coach and player) seem to talk about it and it only serves to have a negative impact on the team. I was only looking for opinions!

No one can/will control, what Parents, Fans or sometimes Players say. I learned long ago, to not let that stuff bother me, unless they worked up the nerve to approach me and bring it up. Then, as a Coach I would respond eloquently to them but would never discuss, internal team issues.

 

Any team which has success, will always have some working to cause internal stress. Once they are known, than most logical people, will not listen to them much.

This is purely a coach issue. Actually a Leadership issue. People will do what you let them do and what they have seen others do before them. If as a leader, you are consistent and fair you will gain the trust and respect that is needed to lead any organization or in this case team. So how do you handle it? Like a leader. You begin each year by expressing your expectations and your dos and don'ts and the consequences for misconduct. Then when someone breaks a team rule, you follow thru with what you said you would do regardless of the talent. Sure you and the team take one in the chin during that instance, but your reputation of not allowing sub standard conduct will carry with you and possibly keep it from happening in the future. The key is the respect. Once you earn the respect alot of these conduct type issues won't happen.

 

Exactally!

I think, it should be based on case by case basis. Everyone and every situation is different.

I think, it should be based on case by case basis. Everyone and every situation is different.

 

Good comment. This has been a good thread with some interesting, solid thoughts, but it has been a bit one-sided. It has been all aimed toward the "bad" kid who is in the wrong and that's perhaps understandable in today's world.

 

But I know from personal experience, from something from a looooong time ago, that it isn't always the "kid" at fault. I had a fuzz-up with my HS BB coach and really suffered for it. The coach held a grudge and made things very, very difficult for me.

 

But, after 50 years to think about it I still firmly believe he was wrong, from the moment he physically lifted me off the floor and left his fingerprint bruises on my arms to the remaining year and a half I played BB and baseball for him and he continued to "punish" me because I had stood up to him for unfair treatment. I, the "kid", was right and the mature one in our tussle. The coach was less than mature, despite being some 25 years my senior. The coach can actually be the one in the wrong on occasion.

 

So, your comment of things being evaluated on a case-by-case basis is right on, IMHO. But typically those on a message board don't have enough information to even do that..........evaluate situations of this type I mean.

 

My 2 cents.

Absolutely correct WVFrank (case by case)...your situation was very difficult and certainly sounds like you were wronged. You know as well as I do that times have changed in a very big way. Back in the day, however wrong it was/is to physically touch a kid, it was done quite often and those offenders to this day probably still don't think they did anything wrong.

 

In today's world, so many kids are so used to being coddled and having it all that it becomes an expectation in nearly every aspect of their lives. Even in the corporate world we're seeing it in the younger generation in a big way...If they feel "it's not fair" OR "if it can't be my way"...no problem, I'll quit and go somewhere else". Many just don't understand "suck it up and deal with it".

 

It's not always the parents, but as LBBC stated above...in many case's they/we are largely to blame. But, "the leaders" need to put it all on the table and have the same rules for everyone...without exception...or they will lose all credibility.

Edited November 25, 200817 yr by Crunch-time
take out words