I just can't get over how being polite and asking a coworker to come golf can be offensive.

 

Is it okay if you ask them to putt-putt?

 

 

BTW, I've never been golfing. Only people who belonged to the country club golfed when I was a kid. Lawyers sons were on the high school golf team. But I'm not offended when asked about golfing, etc.

 

Dang, maybe I am just such a hick I don't know when I am being insulted. Suddenly, I am a very angry individual.

First, I agree the majority of this list is a little silly. But did anyone notice the editors note in the beginning?? The note that says "this blog does not represent university policy"?? This is nothing more than someone's opinion and attempt to "educate" us on these "micro aggressions". Until UNC (or any other place) adopts this as policy, it's not even worth getting upset about.

LINK

 

How about this?

LINK

 

How about this?

 

Again...some are valid or at least worth thinking about, and some are bordering silly.

Which ones are valid and which are silly? Who gets to decide? Are we really seeing a generation of easily offended wimps come out of colleges?

Which ones are valid and which are silly? Who gets to decide? Are we really seeing a generation of easily offended wimps come out of colleges?

 

It's got nothing to do wimpiness. For example...the question "what are you?" As someone who looks a little different, I get that question all the time. Sometimes daily as my job requires me to meet new people all the time. Why would that matter to someone?? What's the point of the question? How does that affect the business we may do together? Sure it may be innocent, and it's often said without the person even thinking about it. But it's a question that immediately can make someone uncomfortable and put their guard up, wondering if there is a right or wrong answer to the question.

 

Not being able to tell someone to calm down, or speak quieter borders on silly.

It's got nothing to do wimpiness. For example...the question "what are you?" As someone who looks a little different, I get that question all the time. Sometimes daily as my job requires me to meet new people all the time. Why would that matter to someone?? What's the point of the question? How does that affect the business we may do together? Sure it may be innocent, and it's often said without the person even thinking about it. But it's a question that immediately can make someone uncomfortable and put their guard up, wondering if there is a right or wrong answer to the question.

 

Not being able to tell someone to calm down, or speak quieter borders on silly.

 

In my mind it's every bit as absurd as people who get offended by Merry Christmas. I wished it to someone a few years back and was quite curtly told how in appropriate it was and how would I feel if someone wished me a Happy Quanza. My reply was I'd sincerely thank them and wish then a Merry Christmas back. We're raising a society of wimps that get offended or made uncomfortable by EVERYTHING.

In my mind it's every bit as absurd as people who get offended by Merry Christmas. I wished it to someone a few years back and was quite curtly told how in appropriate it was and how would I feel if someone wished me a Happy Quanza. My reply was I'd sincerely thank them and wish then a Merry Christmas back. We're raising a society of wimps that get offended or made uncomfortable by EVERYTHING.

 

Good example. I'd say you experienced micro aggression (or whatever they want to call it). The whole point I think, is that people regularly say things every day without thinking that can make people uncomfortable. Again, I refer to the "what are you question". A question whose answer is immaterial to almost every situation. But one that gets asked of peopleall the time. I really don't think some non minorities truly understand how insensitive some of the things that are commonly said really are. i think the whole purpose of this dialogue is just to raise that awareness and that we need to move beyond the race and gender based questions/statements that create this divisiveness. It's easy to tell someone affected by these statements to suck it up when you (the general "you", not you specifically) don't have any skin in the game. And sure some things are worse than others. But I do believe we need to be more aware of and sensitive to each other. The "suck it up" or "you're just being wussies" is just ignoring that we still have along way to go.

Good example. I'd say you experienced micro aggression (or whatever they want to call it). The whole point I think, is that people regularly say things every day without thinking that can make people uncomfortable. Again, I refer to the "what are you question". A question whose answer is immaterial to almost every situation. But one that gets asked of peopleall the time. I really don't think some non minorities truly understand how insensitive some of the things that are commonly said really are. i think the whole purpose of this dialogue is just to raise that awareness and that we need to move beyond the race and gender based questions/statements that create this divisiveness. It's easy to tell someone affected by these statements to suck it up when you (the general "you", not you specifically) don't have any skin in the game. And sure some things are worse than others. But I do believe we need to be more aware of and sensitive to each other. The "suck it up" or "you're just being wussies" is just ignoring that we still have along way to go.

 

Lol, that's ridiculous. If everything bothers you or offends you that's your problem. If society causes you by no reason to be butt hurt, thats your problem. Life is not going to coddle you because your sensitive. The metro-sexual revolution has ruined men. Gave them an excuse to be soft and spineless. I have mixed children as I've said before. They have heard the n word more than a few times by their white friends. Are their feelings hurt... No.. We've raised them to know that you are who you are and you skin is what it is. It doesn't define you or make you. It is not to be ashamed of or proud of. We are all humans. Now they have said to their peers that using terms such as that is small minded and realy shows the character of those using it. If you continue too its it's going to considered disrespectful and we are going to have a problem. I'm good with that response. They didn't cry and retreat to a safe space. They handled it with dignity and a strong sense of self worth. People in life are going to try you and treat you badly. You get to either stand up or be a wimp in your safe space. Raise your kids right and it's not an issue. What are you is a question? Neither good or bad depending on your self worth and esteem. That person may find you intriguing or like the fact your different. If you take everything negatively you are a negative person, your problem. If they have a problem with who or what then that's their problem. The world is full of idiots and no one owes you anything. If you want to survive the public then get a pair and some thick skin or get eaten alive. It's not the best world but it's what we live in.

Do the people that get offended so easily ever stop the think that their reactions to totally innocent and good natured comments has as much to do with lack of empathy and understanding as anything?

Lol, that's ridiculous. If everything bothers you or offends you that's your problem. If society causes you by no reason to be butt hurt, thats your problem. Life is not going to coddle you because your sensitive. The metro-sexual revolution has ruined men. Gave them an excuse to be soft and spineless. I have mixed children as I've said before. They have heard the n word more than a few times by their white friends. Are their feelings hurt... No.. We've raised them to know that you are who you are and you skin is what it is. It doesn't define you or make you. It is not to be ashamed of or proud of. We are all humans. Now they have said to their peers that using terms such as that is small minded and realy shows the character of those using it. If you continue too its it's going to considered disrespectful and we are going to have a problem. I'm good with that response. They didn't cry and retreat to a safe space. They handled it with dignity and a strong sense of self worth. People in life are going to try you and treat you badly. You get to either stand up or be a wimp in your safe space. Raise your kids right and it's not an issue. What are you is a question? Neither good or bad depending on your self worth and esteem. If they have a problem with who or what then that's their problem. The world is full of idiots and no one owes you anything. If you want to survive the public then get a pair and some thick skin or get eaten alive. It's not the best world but it's what we live in.

 

Really?? All I'm saying is we could all stand to be a little nicer and considerate to each other. Never said anyone owes anyone (or myself) anything. And being nicer and more considerate doesn't make anyone a wimp or a wussy...just makes them a nice guy. That's how I live, that's how I lead at work, and as a coach. And I've been pretty successful. And yes the world can be tough and mean. But that doesn't mean we should throw in the towel, hunker down and say to hell with everyone else and just worry about ourselves.

 

I'm doing just fine. Despite what you think of me.

Really?? All I'm saying is we could all stand to be a little nicer and considerate to each other. Never said anyone owes anyone (or myself) anything. And being nicer and more considerate doesn't make anyone a wimp or a wussy...just makes them a nice guy. That's how I live, that's how I lead at work, and as a coach. And I've been pretty successful. And yes the world can be tough and mean. But that doesn't mean we should throw in the towel, hunker down and say to hell with everyone else and just worry about ourselves.

 

I'm doing just fine. Despite what you think of me.

 

Believe it or not I'm extremely considerate and polite and old fashioned and not niave.What I'm saying is if your basing your happiness on how people treat you, you will be disappointed. It's not other peoples job or responsibility to make you happy. We dont live in utopia and it will never be. We live in a fallen broken world. People better learn how to cope with that. Sure I wish the world was nicer and more considerate of each other but look around. Do you see that as being the norm. Even though people are idiots I still act the same. But me and mine know how to deal with those who aren't as nice. My kids have been described as exemplatory people. Won citizen awards from school. They know how to act and react. They define their own boundaries and self worth. Needing a safe space is a bunch of crap and an emotional ball of excrement. I refuse to deal with people that are so emotional they can't function in society. Wait till they get a boss who is a real butt face. What are they going to do then?

Really?? All I'm saying is we could all stand to be a little nicer and considerate to each other. Never said anyone owes anyone (or myself) anything. And being nicer and more considerate doesn't make anyone a wimp or a wussy...just makes them a nice guy. That's how I live, that's how I lead at work, and as a coach. And I've been pretty successful. And yes the world can be tough and mean. But that doesn't mean we should throw in the towel, hunker down and say to hell with everyone else and just worry about ourselves.

 

I'm doing just fine. Despite what you think of me.

 

I don't think bad things of you. I thought we were disussing the wussification of our youth. If your going to argue that its ok.. It's not, then be prepared to have the conversation.

I don't think bad things of you. I thought we were disussing the wussification of our youth. If your going to argue that its ok.. It's not, then be prepared to have the conversation.

 

I'm not trying to argue, nor do I want or need to. My only point is while the world can be tough and mean, I'm just trying to do my part to make things a little better. Be more tolerant, more understanding. I'm not always right, and I've been burned by doing so at times. But I've also come out ahead many times too. If that makes me a wuss, then so be it.

I'm not trying to argue, nor do I want or need to. My only point is while the world can be tough and mean, I'm just trying to do my part to make things a little better. Be more tolerant, more understanding. I'm not always right, and I've been burned by doing so at times. But I've also come out ahead many times too. If that makes me a wuss, then so be it.

 

No, I dont think that it makes you a wuss. It's how we all should be. Most of us have been there. Did you need a safe space when you were burned?