"Hello, Mr. Lucky? This is Ernest, the caretaker of your country house."

 

"Ah, yes Ernest, what can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

 

"I'm just calling to advise you, sir, that your dog died."

 

"My dog? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"

 

"Yes sir, that's the one."

 

Darn, what a pity! I spent a small fortune on that dog. What did he die from?"

 

"From eating spoiled meat, sir."

 

"Spoiled meat? Who the heck fed him spoiled meat?"

 

"Nobody sir. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

 

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

 

"Your thoroughbred, sir. He died from all that work pulling the water cart."

 

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

 

"The one we used to put out the fire."

 

"Good lord!!! What fire are you talking about, man?"

 

"The one at your house, sir. A candle fell and the curtains caught fire."

 

"But there's electricity at my house. What's the candle for?"

 

"For the funeral, sir."

 

"Funeral? What funeral?"

 

"Your brother's funeral, sir. He showed up one night out of the blue and I thought he was a thief, so I hit him in the head with your new TaylorMade driver."

 

Silence.....

 

"Ernest......., if you broke that driver you're in some REALLY deep trouble!!!"

Good Stuff :thumb:

What a shame, about the driver,

Only a golfer would enjoy this ! ! !

Only a golfer would enjoy this ! ! !

That's why I put it in the Golf Forum.

 

 

Here's another one. This guy is a really dedicated golfer:

 

A foursome was on the green preparing to putt. One of the group noticed a long line of cars following a hearst on the adjacent highway. He stopped what he was doing, removed his cap, and placed it over his heart. The others in the group saw what he was doing and did the same. Later, one of the foursome said to him, "John, that was mighty kind of you, what you did there. Do you do that with all funerals?"

"No", he answered, "but this was different. I was married to her for forty years."