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Players Quitting

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I saw a post in another thread talking about players quitting their football team. That made me try to think about what could cause a player to quit, and as a parent what could happen that would cause me to allow my child to quit a team in the middle of a season. For me there would have to be a situation of abuse or a health risk. I cannot think of anything else where I would allow my child to quit a team in the middle of the season. Would you allow your son or daughter to quit a sports team in the middle of a season for anything other then an extreme situation like what I mentioned above?

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Maybe if it was affecting their school work but other than that, I would encourage them to stick it out and finish what they started.

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I saw a post in another thread talking about players quitting their football team. That made me try to think about what could cause a player to quit, and as a parent what could happen that would cause me to allow my child to quit a team in the middle of a season. For me there would have to be a situation of abuse or a health risk. I cannot think of anything else where I would allow my child to quit a team in the middle of the season. Would you allow your son or daughter to quit a sports team in the middle of a season for anything other then an extreme situation like what I mentioned above?

 

I think you will see that most will say they wouldn't let their kid quit. With that said what happens if a kid decides to quit and walk out on teammates without ever letting parents know first. At that point I don't think a parent could do much to stop it. It makes it hard for a coach to take a player back who just quit, just because the parent doesn't want to let them. At that point it probably would be bad for the team if a coach allowed a player back too who didn't want to be there.

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If it weren't affecting their health, physical or mental, I'd have a hard time allowing them to quit.

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No. I would make them finish it out and not quit on their brothers unless it was negatively impacting their school work or health.

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I think you will see that most will say they wouldn't let their kid quit. With that said what happens if a kid decides to quit and walk out on teammates without ever letting parents know first. At that point I don't think a parent could do much to stop it. It makes it hard for a coach to take a player back who just quit, just because the parent doesn't want to let them. At that point it probably would be bad for the team if a coach allowed a player back too who didn't want to be there.

 

I get what you are saying, but hopefully that parent/athlete relationship is one that would promote conversation about something like that before making such a decision.

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I think you will see that most will say they wouldn't let their kid quit. With that said what happens if a kid decides to quit and walk out on teammates without ever letting parents know first. At that point I don't think a parent could do much to stop it. It makes it hard for a coach to take a player back who just quit, just because the parent doesn't want to let them. At that point it probably would be bad for the team if a coach allowed a player back too who didn't want to be there.

 

My guess is the parents are part of the problem. Instead of coaching their child about how to work through tough situations they are probably complaining about the coaches themselves. They probably have unrealistic expectations for their child and are looking for someone or something else to put the blame on for why their child isn't getting more playing time or isn't the star.

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I still believe what makes a player quit is the attitude of the team. As a coach you need to involve all your players and make it as positive as possible. In a losing or disappointing season this is harder than normal but it can be done.

 

On a football team with 40+ high school age boys I know that this is quite the challenge. Especially in 2019 with parents being more vocally opinionated than ever before through social media.

 

The first way I judge a coach is by how many players are standing behind him on the sideline. I always feel like Marksberry at SK has a huge team. That tells me kids like to play for him.

 

On the flip side if your a large school with a minimal amount of athletes you have an attitude problem. You have to weed that problem out whether it’s a group, a single athlete or maybe even a coach.

 

Most coaches fail to recognize this.

 

However the old saying still stands true; Winning Fixes Everything!

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My guess is the parents are part of the problem. Instead of coaching their child about how to work through tough situations they are probably complaining about the coaches themselves. They probably have unrealistic expectations for their child and are looking for someone or something else to put the blame on for why their child isn't getting more playing time or isn't the star.

 

This.

Edited by theguru
Rule 13

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I played from when I was only 6 up until my senior year. I played for one of the most successful programs in the state and started for what was arguably one, if not the best Bowling Green team ever. I was a junior during that 2016 season and I quit before my senior year started. It had nothing to do with my parents and they encouraged me to do what made me happy. I had played football for so long that I simply didn’t enjoy it anymore. I loved the bonds I made with my teammates and coaches, nearly all of my friends are from football. I had learned many valuable life lessons, but football had taken a mental toll on my life. I think many kids quit because of this reason. I think it’s perfectly fine to quit, but only if it’s because of injuries or mental health. Although, I would never support quitting mid season. I got a lot of ridicule for quitting, from coaches and players alike, but in the end they understood that I did what was best for me.

 

I think that quitting is perfectly fine if it has hurt your physical or mental health, but quitting mid season or for no reason isn’t acceptable to me.

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In this situation, I think it’s more of the environment. I like the way Nick Saben handles his players. He’s not a players coach at all, but he always shown he cares about the players even if it’s in a blunt way. If a player just walks away from a program and it’s not about school/family, he obviously doesn't feel a connection with the program. I personally think quitting is bad move and sets a tone for how your life will end up.

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I'll preface this by saying I'm not a fan of quitting on your teammates. But it's really difficult to force a kid to do something that he doesn't want to do. If he/she isn't putting in the effort, it's not helping the player or the team. As a coach, if a player doesn't want to be there, I'd rather them not be there. Also, It seems funny to me that kids quitting sports is looked at as being almost a mortal sin, whereas it's perfectly acceptable for adults to quit jobs, relationships etc. Quitting a sport that isn't working out for you for whatever reason, doesn't doom you to have a horrible life. Sometimes things just don't work out, and moving on might be the best course of action.

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Having dealt with a senior year pre-season quit I have some observations.

 

One is that assistant/position coaches can have far more influence on a players mental disposition and desire than the head coach. Another is that a player may not express what the real reason for quitting is or make up a reason to avoid a difficult discussion - like a borderline abusive coach. Finally, if a player does make this final decision it should handled with the head coach face to face. No email or social media or text message. Man-to-man, face-to-face.

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I saw a post in another thread talking about players quitting their football team. That made me try to think about what could cause a player to quit, and as a parent what could happen that would cause me to allow my child to quit a team in the middle of a season. For me there would have to be a situation of abuse or a health risk. I cannot think of anything else where I would allow my child to quit a team in the middle of the season. Would you allow your son or daughter to quit a sports team in the middle of a season for anything other then an extreme situation like what I mentioned above?

 

You are obviously a parent that is involved with their child on most, if not all, of the activities he is involved with, including academics most likely. Unfortunately, for a great many children, parental involvement is next to nothing. I have had kids tell me this year that they must quit because their parents won't transport them to and from practice anymore (see the thread about poverty and football from last week for more understanding). I have also had kids tell me that their parents encourage them to quit so that they, the parent, no longer are burdened by the sport.

 

No amount of culture changing with the kids will fix adults who have no buy-in themselves, especially those that are not invested in their own children.

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