Do parents re-live their childhood through their children.

View Poll Results: Do parents re-live their childhood through their children?

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  • Yes

    34 94.44%
  • No

    2 5.56%
  1. #1
    Sportsfan34's Avatar
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    Do parents re-live their childhood through their children.

    I have always been one to encourage my child to play sports. But, if he chose not to.....I did not push it.
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  2. #2
    Jim Schue's Avatar
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    I can't really vote yes or no, because some do, some don't. It's not a black/white issue.

    But I can say, from very close observation, that far too many do, and far too many place unreasonable expectations on their children as a result. The ones who do try to live vicariously through their children also quite frequently think far too highly of their child's abilities w/re to future scholarships and professional careers, ignoring the fact that the odds are stacked overwhelmingly against their child ever playing minute one of college ball.

    My favorite time of year to see this stuff is during youth league baseball, when some overbearing dad stands by the fence and barks out instructions to his son or daughter while they're in the on-deck circle. Of course, more often than not, that child is either looking right through his dad and tuning him out, or not even looking at him and rolling his eyes in the process.

    Is it any wonder so many kids get burnt out on sports?

  3. #3

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    My son was an excellent T-ball/coach pitch player. At age 7 he didn't want to play baseball anymore (He just didn't like it) and I didn't make him. It killed me but I refused to be that parent who wants their child to succeed for their own pleasure, relative to the pleasure of the child. Does that make sense?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Schue
    I can't really vote yes or no, because some do, some don't. It's not a black/white issue.

    But I can say, from very close observation, that far too many do, and far too many place unreasonable expectations on their children as a result. The ones who do try to live vicariously through their children also quite frequently think far too highly of their child's abilities w/re to future scholarships and professional careers, ignoring the fact that the odds are stacked overwhelmingly against their child ever playing minute one of college ball.

    My favorite time of year to see this stuff is during youth league baseball, when some overbearing dad stands by the fence and barks out instructions to his son or daughter while they're in the on-deck circle. Of course, more often than not, that child is either looking right through his dad and tuning him out, or not even looking at him and rolling his eyes in the process.

    Is it any wonder so many kids get burnt out on sports?
    That advice is something insightful like "watch the ball" or "hit the ball" or "run when you strike out and the catcher drops the ball." Quality stuff.

  5. #5
    Beechwoodfan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Schue
    I can't really vote yes or no, because some do, some don't. It's not a black/white issue.

    But I can say, from very close observation, that far too many do, and far too many place unreasonable expectations on their children as a result. The ones who do try to live vicariously through their children also quite frequently think far too highly of their child's abilities w/re to future scholarships and professional careers, ignoring the fact that the odds are stacked overwhelmingly against their child ever playing minute one of college ball.

    My favorite time of year to see this stuff is during youth league baseball, when some overbearing dad stands by the fence and barks out instructions to his son or daughter while they're in the on-deck circle. Of course, more often than not, that child is either looking right through his dad and tuning him out, or not even looking at him and rolling his eyes in the process.

    Is it any wonder so many kids get burnt out on sports?


    Perhaps the one gift we did not truly appreciate as children, is that our parents actually LET us be children. Too many parents have their priorities totally out of whack!

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beechwoodfan


    Perhaps the one gift we did not truly appreciate as children, is that our parents actually LET us be children. Too many parents have their priorities totally out of whack!

    Very well said. I like the parents that think their child can play D1 sports and they are just a soph in H.S. and haven't proved to anyone they can even play anything. Now granted, if they are 6'6" already it is possible but wake up and smell the roses.

  7. #7
    _Scarface_'s Avatar
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    You can't vote yes or no.

    Some do, Some don't.

  8. #8

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    I think good parents push their children to be invovlved in something that they are challenged by.

    Sometimes that is football or volleyball but it doesn't have to be sports. If it is an advanced art class, or scouting then so be it.

    If a child is not interested in a certain sport then there is always another sport or activity. The worst thing to do for some kids is to "not force" them to do something.

  9. #9
    day tripper's Avatar
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    Very true All Play! I have an eighteen month old son and nothing would make me happier than to see him have the same love and passion for football that I have. However that's something he has to find for himself.

  10. #10
    Lunatic1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by All Play No Work
    I think good parents push their children to be invovlved in something that they are challenged by.

    Sometimes that is football or volleyball but it doesn't have to be sports. If it is an advanced art class, or scouting then so be it.

    If a child is not interested in a certain sport then there is always another sport or activity. The worst thing to do for some kids is to "not force" them to do something.

    I agree, I think Parents need to be involved, as the mother of a teenager I see a reluctance in many of them to work hard at something and stick with it. I think Parents need to encourage and not let a child quit anything in the middle of the season.

    I also think that there are instances where kids do look to their parents for coaching advice and help, especially in the absence of a strong coach or program at that school. I so not think they should yell a them on the court or scream at their coach if that is what you mean by the poll.

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    Some Parents just realize the difference certain actions made in their lives, or things that were missing. I catch myself taking for granted all of the cool things I seen and learned doing all the things my parents forced me to do, and sometimes don't make my kids do things, but I think until they are up in their teens parents should make them stay involved. Since when do 5-6 year olds make good deciscions.

  12. #12

    Tough question to answer. Some do some don't. But one thing I've definitely noticed in my 20 something year involvement with Ft. Thomas Jr. Football is that the coaches and dads who are the pushiest towards their kids and are the ones that are too focused on winning are the adults that themselves weren't worth a hoot playing football or didn't play at all. It's kind of sad but funny at the same time.

  13. #13
    mcpapa's Avatar
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    My son played t-ball and soccer at the local Boys club for a couple of years when he was young. He wasn't an athletic standout (although he remains an avid sports fan) and would up focusing on academics; was on school academic teams from 3rd through 12 grade. He was able to parlay that (and excellent study habits certainly didn't hurt) into a becoming a National Merit finalist. I'm glad that he took that route.

  14. #14
    spe690's Avatar
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    Some parents do. As we all get older we learn from the mistakes and the regrets that we had when we were younger. So alot of parents force their kids to play sports and do other activities that they wouldn't want to do other wise.

  15. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by mcpapa
    My son played t-ball and soccer at the local Boys club for a couple of years when he was young. He wasn't an athletic standout (although he remains an avid sports fan) and would up focusing on academics; was on school academic teams from 3rd through 12 grade. He was able to parlay that (and excellent study habits certainly didn't hurt) into a becoming a National Merit finalist. I'm glad that he took that route.

    That's fantastic mcpapa. Congrats to your son. I'm sure you are very proud.

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