Chuck Norris jokes

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 05
    Location
    Being a role model
    Posts
    34,456

    Chuck Norris jokes

    These things crack me up.
    Post your favorite here.

    Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
    Advertisement

  2. #2
    bugatti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 02
    Location
    You can keep going and your legs might hurt for a week or you can quit and your mind will hurt for a lifetime. - Mark Allen
    Posts
    42,704

    Do not even get me going on Chuck Norris jokes. I can go at them for hours.

    I have a Chuck Norris generator on my Facebook page.

  3. #3
    sweet16's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 02
    Location
    The real WKY
    Posts
    22,384

    When you open a can of whoop tail, chuck norris jumps out.

  4. #4
    _Scarface_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 07
    Location
    UNC 86 UK 77...Can you say 4 victories in a row for the Heels vs UK?...Gardner Webb?...WOW!
    Posts
    4,388

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet16
    When you open a can of whoop tail, chuck norris jumps out.

  5. #5
    bugatti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 02
    Location
    You can keep going and your legs might hurt for a week or you can quit and your mind will hurt for a lifetime. - Mark Allen
    Posts
    42,704

    Chuck Norris has two speeds, walk and kill.

    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd.... no one fools Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

    Chuck Norris was once a weatherman but was fired for always predicting a 100% chance of pain.

    Children wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 06
    Posts
    1,635

    When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

  7. #7
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

  8. #8
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

  9. #9
    sweet16's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 02
    Location
    The real WKY
    Posts
    22,384

    Quote Originally Posted by bugatti
    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd.... no one fools Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.


  10. #10
    DragonFire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 00
    Location
    Go home and be a family man.
    Posts
    33,203

    My favorite has always been:

    When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  11. #11
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    America is not a democracy; it is a Chucktatorship.

  12. #12
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  13. #13
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

  14. #14
    mcpapa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 05
    Location
    Home of a proud papa
    Posts
    62,033

    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.





    Twice.

  15. #15
    The Sooner Surge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 07
    Location
    Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. Believe in nothing.
    Posts
    1,296

    Chuck Norris 1/8 Cherokee; because he once ate an Indian.

Top