Chuck Norris jokes

Page 5 of These things crack me up. Post your favorite here. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Ch... 73 comments | 2739 Views | Go to page 1 →

  1. #61
    thewaterboy's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
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  2. #62

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    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

    Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    When there's a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there's a Chuck Norris, you stop, drop, and die.

    Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.

    Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

    Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

    Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

    Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

    Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.

    Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

    The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

  3. #63

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    Chuck Norris can get blood from a turnip... come to think of it, he can get blood from anything.

    Hulk Hogan is a "Chuckomaniac"

  4. #64

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    Barack Obama wrote-in Chuck Norris for his vote

  5. #65

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    Chuck Norris can squeeze a lump of coal and turn it into a diamond - Or he can stare at the lump of coal until it voluntarily submits.

    Chuck Norris can count to 10 by 3's

    90% of all women dream of Chuck Norris. The other 10% do too.

  6. #66

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    Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

  7. #67

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    The fastest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris's fist.

  8. #68

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    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

  9. #69
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    ^ What?

  10. #70

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    In his home town, they named a street after Chuck Norris.....someone walked across it, Chuck Norris immediately showed up and gave him a roundhouse kick to the face, because you don't cross Chuck Norris.

    Later.

  11. #71

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    Google web search for Chuck Norris

    Even Google fears Churck Norris.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by AHSPanther23 View Post
    Google web search for Chuck Norris

    Even Google fears Churck Norris.
    That's awesome!!!

  13. #73
    GrizzlyAdams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AHSPanther23 View Post
    Google web search for Chuck Norris

    Even Google fears Churck Norris.

  14. #74
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    When someone wants to know something, they Google it.

    When Google wants to know something, they Chuck Norris it.

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