Page 7 of And for anyone who says this isn't trying to mold the minds of kids or make it seem Okay is full out stupid. Disney airs its first EVER gay kissing sce... 95 comments | 2027 Views | Go to page 1 →
Mar 9, 17, 08:59 PM #91Might want to get out more.
Mar 9, 17, 09:39 PM #92
Mar 9, 17, 11:08 PM #93
Mar 10, 17, 01:05 AM #94
Though I have never been sexually attracted to women, there were a few times during my teens that I put myself in the position to play kissy face with girls to see if by chance I would become aroused. I did not. With no drive, and out of the embarrassment for knowing that I wouldn't be able to perform, nothing ever progressed much past 2nd or 3rd base.
I also partook in those insignificant experiences so that I would at least have something to tell my friends so that they would think that I was straight because then I was still too paranoid that someone would figure me out if I didn't chase a girl once in a while.
Whereas most guys my age would've went bonkers about things like breasts and maybe wanting to touch them, I had no desire to, and they didn't peak my interest in the least.
Seeing a woman naked stirred nothing in me. Whereas most teen guys would probably be going out of their minds knowing a girl was about to disrobe, I felt nothing and had no magnetic feelings that made me want to get closer and explore further. I have never in my entire life had fantasies about women.
At a very young age I knew without doubt that I was curious about men, and when adolescence hit me the desires in me were off the charts. It didn't take getting close to them to stir me up, just the very sight would make my heart race.
I'm a bit unusual even among gay guys in that I've never in my life ever had any interest in guys my own age, so my interest in young guys or gals was completely equal in that it was of zero interest.
None of my friends my age ever had to worry about me being attracted to them because I just wasn't. To me they were boys, and my interest were in men. My attraction has always been for those with a presence of maturity.
There were definitely teachers or coaches along the way that had me daydreaming, but considering my closetness and age there was nothing that I could do about it.
Whereas some of my teen friends were having their first experiences with girls, I wasn't able to follow my desires until I found the nerve and became of legal age, so it wasn't until I was 20 with a full time job that I ventured into a relationship with a man. My teens were often fun with friends, but deep down I was sad, confused, depressed, frightened, and lonely.
After becoming infatuated with him and tired of hiding my real self from family and friends, I came out to them and figured that if my parents kicked me out of the house, with a job I could support myself.
Thankfully they did not and I moved out a couple of years later.at age 22 when I was ready to. I wanted to tell my parents that I was in love just like any of my siblings had when they went ga-ga over someone.
Of course it took all the nerve I could muster, but at 20 it was far time for I had bottled this up long enough as it was. Age 5 to 20 is a long time in a kid's life. I couldn't play this fake game anymore, and I just wanted to get on with my life finally being who I really was.
After living as my real self for about 10 years, at age 30 I had a very close straight female friend who I shared every secret of my life with, and who I felt comfortable enough to hang out with, and even do silly things like have tickle fights and cuddle with her.
We on numerous occasions would just lay around together talking, watching movies, listening to music, and felt free to rub on each other as if we were each others pets.
She was very much a vivacious sexually charged girl who just for kicks one time we entertained the idea of seeing if even with being super comfortable with her I could perform, and it really just turned out to be a silly experiment where the results were just what I had figured they'd be that I felt nothing.
I actually hoped that I would, but I just didn't. We just simply resumed the fun friendship that we originally had had and laughed it off and rarely ever mentioned it again.
I feel lucky that I've always known and I think that a lot of others do to from early on. There's no doubt in my mind what I'm attracted to. I don't know why I am, but I felt this way even before trying to date girls. For me it certainly wasn't a bad experience with girls because I already knew in grade school when most of the boys were starting to chase the girls around.
I can't speak for everyone, but different people come to understand themselves at different points in their lives for various reasons. Some are aware early, while some have repressed feelings because of society, religion, fear, that confuse people from understanding their true feelings. Even with religion et al I just somehow knew early.
Even early on, because what kid truly understands what life was all about, I thought that certainly my interest in girls would just automatically kick in one day just like they did for my friends. I'm still waiting.
I suppose that certain bad life experiences could alter some people's psychology and make them neurotic from being straight, or to try to switch teams. I can't say that I personally know anyone who claims this to be their "why" but I have known many who were closeted when they married out of social pressures, and eventually had to quit living a lie.
Sexuality sometimes can be tremendously complex, and like I had mentioned in another post I've known some men who were certain they were straight their whole lives only to do a big 180 later in life. For one man I know he was 67 when it happened after going most of his life having a wife and 5 girlfriends on the side at any given moment. He recalls of being hit on by a guy when he was younger and tossed him out of the bar he was in and into the gutter. When asked if he thought that it was repressed feelings, he said absolutely not.
Even they perplex me because I would've assumed that my personal experience is pretty much the norm in realizing that oneself is gay early, but my partner of 20 years until he passed, dated only girls growing up, got two of them pregnant, thought that men with men was strange, learned court reporting in the service and dictated court marshals of gay officers being released from the service while shaking his head wondering what the hell was wrong with them, and then in his late 20's had an experience with a man, and though he was basically bi-sexual, he pretty much lead his life as a 95% gay man all the way to his obsessive love of Broadway musicals.
I have often wondered if some people are born gay, while certain life experiences can lead other people there later on and that it's not just one thing for certain. I can't even say for sure if I was born gay, but I can tell you that I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't. I do believe in behavioral conditioning and that it has a huge impact in the shaping of someone, and have often wondered if for me it was a combination of both although I was raised under that most straight circumstances as you'd expect with a ton of religion to boot.
I have a friend who's also the youngest in a very similarly structured family and he is as straight as can be. Sure, every bit of stimulus that he and I have been exposed to in our lives have not been 100% exactly the same, but then again with living a block from each other in a large Catholic family, much was very similar.
For me and many many like me it's not just as easy to say that life experiences made us choose this, when just like straight people who've no doubt in their minds that they're straight, there's no doubt in ours that we're gay, and so much that because of the fear of growing up in a world that has trouble understanding it, I prayed and I prayed and I prayed some more that I wasn't.
It's not like I wanted to be, and often times in my younger days I asked "Why Me?
I'm fine with being gay because I've adjusted to the fact that I am, but honestly who wants to grow up knowing that what they are would make others treat them as some kind of outcast if they knew, so I had to keep it buried for fear of anyone giving me trouble if they knew, and in the tough neighborhood that I grew up in, my fears were a very real concern.
Mar 10, 17, 08:09 AM #95
- Join Date
- Oct 06
- Truth should shape people's politics, rather than politics shaping what people think is true.
Mar 10, 17, 02:28 PM #96
- Join Date
- Apr 13
- "Johnny's life passed him by like a warm summer day. If you listen to the wind you can still him him play."