BGP QOTD: How do you dress the perfect burger?

I recently saw a video from the late-great Anthony Bourdain pop up on my Facebook feed. It was a little short segment on his thoughts regarding a perfect burger. I think I'm pretty much in lockstep with Bourdain's thinking - don't church it up. If you make a good burger, then you don't need all of the fancy stuff stacked on it to make it stand out.

So my question is, if you had to design one single "perfect burger"...like it was the only way you could have a burger prepared for the rest of your life...how would you make it? Would you or wouldn't you season the patty? Thick or thin patty? Multiple patties? What kind of bun would you go for? Any kind of veggies to top your burger? Cheese...what kind? Would you add bacon? Or a fried egg? Which condiment(s)?

Here's the Anthony Bourdain video I was talking about.

I love burgers but I'm pretty simple, here are my favorite ways...

1) fresh iceberg lettuce, sweet onion diced, mayo just a bit of ketchup.

2) mustard, onion and shake of salt

3) buttered buns

4) mayo and ketchup only

5) mayo, lettuce, onion, American cheese, crisp bacon

Being honest, I like bread as well as I like buns.

Meat, sharp cheddar, bacon, egg, buttered bun.

Meat, sharp cheddar, bacon, egg, buttered bun.

Throw a little goetta on mine and I'll have the same.

My grandmother made the perfect hamburger growing up. The flavor of her burgers have never been matched. She did nothing special. She made her patties thin with some salt and pepper, she'd finish them off in the skillet with a slice of american cheese while allowing the bun to steam a little in the skillet. Top it off with a piece of iceburg lettuce, a slice of tomato (preferable home grown), a slice of onion, and yellow mustard. Nowadays, I'm stuck eating turkey burgers which just don't compare to a good, all beef hamburger.

Burger from a Charcoal Grill, toasted Bun, American Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion + tons of ketchup

1/3-1/2 lb, grilled over an open flame, seasoned with pepper and seasoned salt.

Ketchup

Spicy brown mustard

Relish

A couple of slices of bacon

Brioche bun

For a special twist, add some French fried onions

Meat, cheese, thats it.

Cheese, Bacon, Mayo, and Ketchup.

Pretty much the Baconator from Wendys. It's my favorite.

If the burger is really good, I'll only do cheese, bacon, onion, and maybe some mustard. I don't like a lot on my burgers.

Start with ground chuck.

Mix unknown quantities of Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, and Chicago seasoning with ground chuck.

Make patties. Let sit for about an hour. Meanwhile throw corn on the cob on the grill.

Patties go to grill. Cook to preferred done-ness. While burgers are cooking by this point the bacon should be done and you should be frying an egg over easy.

Butter buns and put them on the grill.

Before pulling the burger off the grill, top it with smoked cheddar cheese and let it melt.

Put the burger on the bun, add bit of mayonnaise to it, top it with your egg (be sure to pop the yolk at this point otherwise you will be wearing it) and a heaping quantity of bacon.

If there is a better burger I'd be surprised.

My burger is pretty similar to yours, @Kentucky Windage. Sometimes I'll throw a little garlic powder in the mix instead of salt.

My burger is pretty similar to yours, @Kentucky Windage. Sometimes I'll throw a little garlic powder in the mix instead of salt.

I can respect that.

I prefer burgers cooked on the flat-top to burgers cooked on the grill. You can't beat the crust on a burger cooked on a flat-top or on a cast iron skillet.

If I'm making them, I'll start with a couple pounds of 80/20 ground chuck, the night before I cook them. Add in a packet of Lipton onion soup mix, a good squirt of ketchup, a couple dollops of mayo, one egg, and a teaspoon or two of Worcestershire. Mix all of that up, and let it sit in the fridge overnight. The added mayo/ketchup/egg help make them good and juicy.

I'll patty them out the next day in my burger press when I'm ready to cook them. 1/3 pound if they're going to be singles, 1/4 pound if they're going to be doubles. Once they're in patties, I'll get a cast iron skillet on the stove over medium heat, and melt a couple of tablespoons of butter. Toss on the patties two at a time, and put the lid on the skilled to keep steam captured as they cook. At that point, brush melted butter onto the buns - plain, soft, grocery store buns. Now you pull off the skillet's lid, and throw the top side of both buns on the skillet with the patties. You also add on a slice of Kraft Singles American cheese at that point. After the bun tops are toasted, pull them off and put the bottoms on until they're toasted.

Once the buns are toasted and the cheese is melted to the patties, you build the burger...beef patty with the cheese already melted on top, dill pickle slices, and ketchup. Maybe some iceberg lettuce and a slice of tomato if I'm feeling fancy, but more often than not I go without.