Odd relationship question...can a person be in a...

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    BigVMan23's Avatar
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    Odd relationship question...can a person be in a...

    ... long term same sex/homosexual monogamous relationship (several years) and be considered heterosexual?I had a conversation with a person (woman) who was in a 6 year same sex relationship...with men before and since...but considered herself straight during that six years she was with another woman. It was an interesting conversation and was very interesting how she looked at that relationship. I told her if that relationship didn't meet the definition of a homosexual relationship, then I'm not sure what would. What do you think?
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    BigVMan23's Avatar
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    Can a mod change that Off to Odd in the title please, thanks.

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    UKMustangFan's Avatar
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    I would say yes.

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    I'm not trying to be flippant, but my question to you would be, why does it matter? Is there really a need to label the person as one way or the other?? People change. If she says she's straight, who am I to say she's not, regardless of what she's done in the past.

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    UKMustangFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rjs4470 View Post
    I'm not trying to be flippant, but my question to you would be, why does it matter? Is there really a need to label the person as one way or the other?? People change. If she says she's straight, who am I to say she's not, regardless of what she's done in the past.
    I was wondering that as well.

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    By definition she was in a homosexual relationship.

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    She can identify however she wants, IMO.

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    Sounds like she cant make up her mind. Straight, gay, straight.
    Id say bisexual it is just not at the same time. Sounds Like she likes a person and believes in being monogamous.

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    Yes. I knew a woman who was very much into men physically and definitely considered herself heterosexual, yet she had a long six or seven year relationship with a woman. She said, for her, the woman/woman relationship was primarily about the emotional bond. Some women connect better emotionally with another woman. Apparently the lady that the author of this thread referred to put her physical preference for men aside in order to nurture the emotional needs that her female partner fulfilled at the time.

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    While no fan of 'gender be what you want it to be' movement, relationships are something that people can definitely put their own label on or not put a label on it if they chose.

    Hetro, homo, bi, poly, sister-wives, bother-husbands, nuclear family, non-traditional family, common law marriage, shacking up, hanging out, and so on and so on. Some things defy 'definition' - especially in the eyes of those in those 'odd relationships'.

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    Beechwoodfan's Avatar
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    As I once heard on. Grey’s Anatomy episode...” It’s not black or white, it’s a sliding scale.”

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    BigVMan23's Avatar
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    I drew an analogy to a smoker/non-smoker. A person smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day, yet calls themselves a "non-smoker". The proof is kind of in the pudding, so to speak. I'm not saying it matters either way, just thought it interesting in this particular case how this person in this particular situation viewed their-self.

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    It would only matter to me, I suppose if I were entering a relationship with this person. Although, I can't conclude the past really matters...what is important is the now. We had a couple with whom we were good friends, almost the only people we regularly hung out with, and then they became less and less available. The lady is now married to another woman with whom she had children. The husband has a new relationship also (with a woman). But, I am not in a position to conclude that a person's "history" has any more of a bearing on an existing relationship whether a previous relationship was same-sex or not.

    Interesting discussion.

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    As Scarmucci said.. Gender is a spectrum. I guess sexuality is too.

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