Think you know great sex?
Nevada's famed Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel is on the prowl for official "quality" control testers who not only get paid to have sex with their prostitutes but to then evaluate their performance.
"I'm looking for someone who's fun, has some personality and wants to have a good time," Dennis Hof, whose seven brothels make up 40% of North America's legal bordellos and starred in the hit HBO series "Cathouse," told the Daily News.
The ideal candidate must have "stamina" as well, he added.
"Are they going to be able to perform? Because it's work. Not everyone is a Ron Jeremy," he said while mentioning the legendary porn star who touts himself as "the Hardest Man in Showbiz."
Ranch spokesman Marc Medoff also stressed their "secret shopers" as needing to be experienced, educated, and "well rounded."
"Obviously a very young person or a person who has not traveled or been around would not be ideal," he said. "We want somebody who gives us a true, honest, worldly perspective."
That includes female applicants.
"We'd love to have a woman or two," he said. "Even couples to be honest with you. A lot of our customers are couples."
As Hof explained, it's all part of their goal of boosting customer satisfaction that begins the moment a client walks through their door.
"You don't get a second chance to make a first impression," he reasoned. "We've got criteria on what we want."
Medoff echoed that sentiment.
"We want to know that we're putting out the best quality product out there," he said.
Depending on the right person, Hof insists the position will be as good as it may sound.
"I think it's a great opportunity for some New Yorkers who want to have a good time and make a lot of money and enjoy one of the best products in the world," he said. "We're going to hire about a dozen people and some of them will be full time and some of them will be part time. I'm already getting flooded with applicants."
While scrolling through his inbox, he read off a couple.
One is from a California man, allegedly already in the adult industry, who attached a professional photo of himself. Hof described him as a "nice looking guy, dressed in a suit."
The email informed his ability to relocate from California to Nevada "'for the right money and full time work,'" Hof read.
Another application came from a man who identified himself as an honorably discharged soldier living locally.
"'I believe this could be the perfect job. Or dream job,'" Hof read before pausing to chuckle and chime: "Isn't that an understatement?"
"'I just wanted to get my name to you ASAP because opportunities don't wait for no one,'" the letter continued.
Another email was from a 28-year-old college graduate and another from a recent divorcee with not only sales and customer experience but first-hand experience at the Bunny Ranch.
"What the common thread here is, these aren't idiots," Hof — who recently released his book, "The Art Of The Pimp: A Love Story" — summed up the handful of emails which he described as well written and without typos. "I'm really kind of impressed with this."
Prospective applicants can reach out to Hof with their own resumes at email@example.com