I like this one, so much truth to it.
A fire truck with one fireman would be sent to an address without a clear indication of the problem. The complainant is a neighbor who said they saw smoke or steam or something, maybe from the house or the alley or a vehicle. When the fire truck pulls up, the complainant runs outside and yells at the fireman for taking too long, and tells him not to park in front of his house. The fireman sees smoke from the house in question, so he knocks on the front door.
After fifteen minutes of knocking, a person who barely speaks English answers the door and says there is no fire. Smoke is billowing out the door. The homeowner tells the fireman to screw off and slams the door in his face.
The fireman goes to his truck and checks the computer to see if this house has burned before. He finds out the house has a history of fires, and smoke is now coming through the roof. The fireman requests a warrant to fight the fire, and has to state his reasons to believe the house is burning. Neighbors are now banging on the fire truck and screaming for the fireman to do something. A bystander is taking video with his cell phone and demanding to know the fireman's name and badge number. The fireman radios for another truck and two additional firemen.
In about an hour they get the warrant, and they start to pour water on the house. Neighbors yell outside and complain the trucks are too loud. The firemen go inside, resuscitate the homeowner and put out the flames. The fireman then sits in his truck and makes notes while he eats a convenience store burrito and cold coffee. He writes a report to state why he thought the house was burning, how the fire was put out, and that they took no more steps than absolutely necessary. He makes a list of everybody that was affected by the fire, including their name, date of birth and address, and how they were affected.
Before he finishes his reports, another complaint comes in and the same process occurs at another address. This happens five more times that shift. At the end of the shift the fireman goes back to the station and submits his reports to the captain, who asks if the fireman was sure all the houses that day had been on fire, and if he was justified in putting them all out. The report is then officially submitted.
Seven months later the fireman is called to court to swear that the house was on fire, and that his warrant to fight the fire was accurate. The homeowner's lawyer cross examines the fireman and asks the exact temperature of the flames (in Celsius and Fahrenheit), what stage the fire was at when the fireman first pulled up, the color of the carpet in the home, how much water they used, why they broke the lock on the door, why did the windows get smashed, would the house have burned if the firemen had not showed up at all, who reported the fire, how did they know it was smoke and not steam, if their fire truck was properly certified, and was their training up to date.
Five months later the court rules that the house actually had been on fire and the fireman was justified in putting it out, but they chastise the fireman for getting the rug dirty, wrecking a shrub, and bruising the homeowner's ribs doing CPR. The homeowner is awarded damages, and the fire department puts a disciplinary letter on his file for ruining the shrub.
Six months later the fireman gets a photo radar ticket for speeding on the way to the fire and has to justify himself.